A guy who didn’t make me orgasm but I told him he gave me an intense orgasm through sexting?

So a guy was “feeling” but down there (not fingering). I still had my underwear on because, well, we grew up in church and we’re trying to be pure (in a way). It was my first time doing anything sexual. I was extremely nervous, so I didn’t orgasm. He apologized a few days after for not making me cum. I said it was because of my nerves, but that I had an intense orgasm when I was sexting him one night. I wasn’t going to lie and tell him I had an orgasm when he fingered me so I told him the truth. I know he probably felt bad about my nerves that night but he did make me have an orgasm from thinking about him while I used my vibrator and sexting him. (Note: this is not because he wasn’t as good as my vibrator. I was truly freaking out because of what I was doing with him)
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Superb Opinion

  • I suspect a lot of women experience that nervousness and it makes them 'tighten up'. As you are able to relax with him more, he should be able to make you orgasm.
    This type of thing would have bothered me in my youth, because I was extra excitable myself. But over time, I learned the ebbs and flows of the female ritual and my goal was to make a female feel as comfortable as possible before engaging in the fun, where my goal is traditionally multiple orgasms (for her). Anything under 2 I consider a failure now.

Most Helpful Guy

  • There's nothing wrong either with being honest or staying "pure" as you put it. There's a lot of ludicrous pressure on singles in society to have sexual contact with perhaps everyone they met.
    That being said, my ex and I decided we wanted to be a couple while I was away from home for work and our first "date" consisted of a 3 hour phone call which ended up with a very descriptive conversation about what we'd like to do three days later when I got home that was very arousing for both of us!

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What Guys Said

(32)
  • It is always best to be honest. Did you give him a handjob?

    • Yes I did. Do you think it made him feel a little better when I told him about the sexting?

    • I'm sure it did. Maybe try doing facetime or Skype sex. It is fun to watch each other masturbate and orgasm. I'm sure he loved the handjob... guys love them and they feel way better then jerking off solo. Your thoughts?

  • It's better to be honest, so telling him the truth was best.

  • is this a question?

  • If you are still a virgin then it’s ok to be nervous and the fact that you told him it wasn’t him that it was your nerves settles it

  • First time experiences are seldom that good: next time will be much better.

  • If you ever need company when fucking your vibrator please let me know, I'll join you

  • just stick with the truth dude. try to work together. a guy can understand when a girl is too nervous that she can't cum. sex is like riding a bike. you don't learn it the first few times you try. you shouldn't expect it to go amazing right away and neither should he.

  • You should go into more detail on your upbringing and what that means to you, if you haven't already.

    A sexual relationship requires as much communication as a romantic one.. even if it's only casual.

  • He'll probably be a little insecure about it for a while. And that's ok. You two will just have to try again and eventually he'll get it right. No one gets it right on the first try.

  • Sounds normal. When I lost my virginity to my first girlfriend, I didn't orgasm. I think it's normal. Not everyone does sure to nerves, so I totally get that and don't feel bad as long as he understands.

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