Why is my boyfriend watching porn?

[Anonymous]

I went through his phone earlier and saw his search history. I saw that he searched up porn the other day. We’ve been together for over a year now and I always go through his stuff and make sure. We live together and he’s told me in the past he’s not one to watch porn because he has me and doesn’t need it or care. Throughout the entire time we been together he’s never showed interest in it so I find it odd he’s watching it now. I don’t know what to do because it’s making me uncomfortable and insecure. I’m starting to feel like I can’t please him enough and I’m not good enough for him. I feel ugly and I’m currently pregnant too and it’s making me feel worse about my body. We are still sexually active, we have not stopped just because I’m pregnant. So it bothers me why he has to go and watch that.

[markml]

First of all, naughty you for going through his phone history like that. Does he get to do the same to your phone?

If this is the first time you ever found a porn search on his phone, I wouldn't think much of it. It's entirely possible that one of his buddies wanted to show him some porn. Maybe it wasn't even to get off. Maybe it was something to laugh at. You don't know the context, so you shouldn't think anything of a single porn search.

And you two obviously aren't Mormons, so it should be okay for him to occasionally watch porn.

If, on the other hand, this was a regular habit and you found out he has been watching porn all the time, then obviously he lied to you about not liking porn. I personally would be more concerned about the lying than the watching porn, although men who have obsessive invasive women are more prone to say bullshit that isn't true.

If it were a new habit that were forming (meaning 100 searches in the past week and/or searching for porn a few times every week for the last month) then obviously something is going on... but try not to overreact...

It may be that he's under more stress now, and this is helping him release stress. Don't assume it means he's not attracted to you or doesn't love you.

One thing I can tell you is that you acting jealous will likely make things worse. It may create a problem when there was no problem to begin with (although I would consider regular phone snooping to be a problem). Remember that it's just pixels floating on a screen. Guys don't fall in love with images, they fall in love with real women. Also, who the heck watches porn on a tiny phone screen?

If you want to be the "cool girlfriend/wife", you might even ask to watch porn with him.

[slatyb]

"We’ve been together for over a year now and I always go through his stuff and make sure."

That is so toxic. I'm amazed he permits that. I wouldn't. Anyway, people watch porn. Get over it. I understand that being pregnant makes women feel vulnerable, especially without being married to their partner. But don't worry about what he does alone. Worry about what he does when he's with you, and whether he is with you when he should be.

[Quackthulu]

Why wouldn't he? More importantly why are you going through his shit, any why are you freaking out about shit that doesn't matter?

[boggboss]

Wait in the year u have been together you have always checked his stuff?

[Asker]

Yes I do

[boggboss]

So how did u ever think the relationship would work when u replaced trust with being a police officer like its truly insane the way you say it like this is normal behaviour ehat your doing is toxic but meh this must be what he wants if he is staying if u have the balls to just snoop through his shit why are u asking gag when u could just ask him how could anyone on here know why he does it u guys already have no boundaries so just ask him

[Asker]

He goes through my shit too and we’ve given each other permission in the past to go through each others stuff if we want to so

[boggboss]

Lol so how was this relationship ever gonna work if u never learned to trust each other but then again I guess this is the crutch you and him decided to work with instead off learning how to teust your oartner again if the both off you are capable of policing each other why ask gag when u have already got the evidence to his crime u wanted to police him you did and u have found somthing u didn't like this is a issue the two off you created so deal with it with him

[NarutoUzumaki007]

He just likes some alone time it doesn't have anything to do with you and how much sex he gets.
It's more like a hobby , a ritual we must do

[NarutoUzumaki007]

Also it's wrong for him to lie to you about porn. But it's also wrong you are watching his phone without his knowledge

[LiamSawyer]

I'd much rather watch or be with you then porn, I gave up watching fake exaggerated and unrealistic porn in my late teens.

[Catkitty]

Dm me

[Andres77]

You're not the thought police but he shouldn't have lied about watching it if he is. Pregnant... hormones all over the place. He needs to be attentive, there's another life.
I'll admit, I was stressed during her pregnancy, responsibility and all that but I had to focus and prioritize.
What kind of porn is he watching?

[Aakash_Hangargi]

Breathe, breathe, breathe lol

Relax donot over think this watching porn does it mean anything he has free time well internet is free

[allin3]

Stop going through your boyfriend/girlfriend/ husband/ wife's phones! Y'all are crazy. Just looking for drama and hurt feelings over shit that isn't your business at all.

[Twalli]

Porn is not reality

[Valnac]

You obviously have trust issues, I never go through my girlfriend’s phone.
You are going to have to ask him why.
Communication is important in any relationship.

[Maspolomas]

Almost every guy does so it’s ok

[GAGSucksBalls1]

Why not

[Sampan2017]

You should ask whether he watched or someone else?
Make sure whether he is sexualy satisfied or not with you

[ImADud3]

I agree that invading the phone of somebody is not respectful and should not be done. There are reasons to keep things private. But to your question: Porn is something almost all men of our generation do (altough it's propably not healthy :)). So he is not an exception. Maybe he is ashamed of his behaviour or does want to avoid conflict anticipating no understanding of you. Personally I can say that porns are very compelling and bear a good amount of potential to get addicted. And who wants to admit he's addicted to porn (to himself or to others)? Also porn is an easy way to relieve stress like somking is too. Most people do not have easy times right now. These could be reasons. I do not want to judge the behaviour. Maybe it helps you to know if your problem is that he is watching porn Or that he did not tell you Or that you think he sees you less attractive.

Either way I wish you and your future family all the best! 🙏