Caught him watching porn beside me at 3am and now I don't know how to feel about it. Plus some other things?

[Anonymous]

So me and this guy have been talking for a while now, been spending weeks at a time with each other, doing everything together like a couple. I want a relationship but he says he needs to make sure he’s in check before trying again but he’s not against trying to have one with me in the future. He’s afraid that if he falls in love with me, he’ll end up hurting me and such.

BESIDES that, I woke up at 3am to him jerking off beside me. He asked me if he accidentally made me uncomfortable and I told him” well I’m not against it but I’m right beside u. If u wanna get off I don’t mind helping u out. We’ve done it before...”

He said he didn’t wanna wake me up which I get but he’s done it before and tbh I love a good surprise in the morning, haha. I think I hurt his feelings tho because he sighed, put his phone away then we both went back to sleep. We were fine this morning besides the hunt for his wallet but still what do I do about ALLLL this

[Wowie101]

First you must understand that masterbation is a normal thing even if ur having sex twice a day... so even if you offer to do everything he still will... it does it mean he sexualy deprived... The fact that he had no problem doing it with you there is a good thing means he trusts you... but by all means offer to help... even if it means joining him in masturbation... sometimes mutual masturbation could be fun... Second he’s carrying a lot of dark baggage from his past and you should be wary of this. At this point if you haven’t moved into a relationship you probably won't... sorry

[jtesla90]

I have been married for 5 years and have watch porn regularly and i am happily married and have no thought about cheating. Men usually have higher sex drives than women and dont want to bother them or feel like a weirdo for asking for help with their urges. It is normal and if it is really a problem, dont ask him why. Try to join in, im sure he won't mind.

[SueShe]

Big red flag and no go.

A person that is in a relation and that has the urge to watch pornographic content is a person that is already thinking of cheating. The reason is that while he was watching lewd content, he was certainly not thinking of the person that he is in relation with but another person. That is the first sign of emotional cheating

Emotional cheating is the first step towards physical cheating. Time to have a real serious conversation and think of the consequences. There is obviously no future where there is cheating.

[jtesla90]

This answer is nonsense. I have been married for 5 years and have watch porn regularly and i am happily married and have no thought about cheating. Men usually have higher sex drives than women and dont want to bother them or feel like a weirdo for asking for help with their urges. It is normal and if it is really a problem, dont ask him why. Try to join in, im sure he won't mind.

[SueShe]

@jtesla90 thanks for your point of view. With all those people into pornography while married/in a relation, no wonder the number of people cheating on their partner is skyrocketing. Poor civilization and what a sad world we live in.

[Avicenna]

Lots of people in relationships watch porn and masturbate, so it's not like he isn't happy with you.

[Iron_Man]

move on

[Anonymous]

I've dated women before, enjoyed masturbating and never cheated.

[Opinion Owner]

No anxiety when one masturbates (other than the risk of getting caught if that is an issue in the relationship). Often anxiety is a big part of what comes from partner sex: anxiety about how I smell, how my body will perform, will my body perform, does my partner like me, my body, how my body reacts etc. For many people, unfortunately, relationship sex is filled with so much anxiety that it is not enjoyable A person is tired and masturbation doesn't require the same level of effort, both mentally and physically to perform It is not painful. For both men and women, relationship sex can be physically painful and the inability to resolve the pain or effectively discuss it with their partner leads to the desiring relationship sex less or avoiding it A person is bored A person is bored with their relationship and wants to play out a fantasy in their head A person is stressed Because they like it They don't have to worry about getting rejected by their partner Their partner is sick, has their period or just doesn't want it when the partner does They want to do it quick or don't have the time required for relationship sex Their partner is traveling or away from their partner It's convenient, like in the shower in the morning or evening It is their best attempt to remain faithful to the marriage because they are really unhappy and don't have anyway to resolve marital conflict outside the bedroom They do not desire the kind of sex they will have with their partner It's fun They want to indulge in a fantasy that they are: too afraid, embarrassed or fear rejection from their partner to share with them They just want an orgasm and they know how best to get there in the fastest way possible To learn more about their own body and what they like and how to reach orgasm

[Anonymous]

It’s normal. Don’t overthink it.

[Opinion Owner]

I see some downvotes, well here’s some news to you. Your guy is watching porn. Not all will watch it in bed, but before they come to bed if you’re already asleep. Maybe a stop to the rest room before coming in to take care of things or maybe waking up late at night and quietly and slowly rubbing one out. No, we don’t want to wake you. Especially if it is not a big deal, not worth it in a way. Sleep tight, we got this. It’s not an everyday thing, it’s more rare.