Why do guys get choked up around pretty girls?

[RawIronhide]

I'm actually wondering if anyone has a decent insight as to why that is. I have had the same issue although I've gotten much better with age I still find myself stiffen up around attractive women even ones I've known for a while, sometimes much older than me. Shortly after I find myself wondering why because I'm a naturally funny guy and I actually have a lot of charisma. I really enjoy being in the company of other people especially women. I thought it was because I don't want to embrace myself but I'm older now I don't really care about that anymore. What els could it be.

[AmandaYVR]

People want to be liked by other good people (or beautiful or kind or intelligent or accomplished, etc etc.) If someone of high-calibre, in whatever sense, likes you, it speaks more highly of you and makes you feel good about yourself. It's basic human nature. There's no real harm in it. If you look at it in a broader sense, not just attractiveness, it's okay to want to be liked. Just make sure you don't always value "pretty" higher than other, more important traits. There are many things that make up a complete person, but sounds like you already know that.

[RawIronhide]

Yes, my bad I didn't mean to overvalue attractiveness, I suppose I meant, women who I admire. Thank you for correcting me.

[AmandaYVR]

Yep, I got that sense, no worries. Not easy to encompass all things in a few sentences, I know. Some people think that better looking people get treated better by others, in general. And this makes the receiver over-value themselves somewhat, or sometimes. I suppose that's true some of the time, but you can see who is warm, nice, compassionate, etc. It comes through quite quickly, it exudes out of some people, and so it's not disconnected that a "pretty girl" is less nice than a regular looking girl. But for you interacting with people, you just need to quickly assess all that, and if pretty is cold or aloof or rude or whatever, then they should get no more advantages or attention, right? But feeling choked up around people you would prefer to like you... don't give it a second thought. Everyone's probably thinking the same thing inside; it's just some can hide it better. Was talking to my husband last night... about how I got free custom foot insoles made by a doctor once a few years ago, even thought my basic insurance didn't cover that. Would have cost a few hundred (the U. S. health system is bloated and costly.) He was nice, though, and told me "No charge, it's on me. I don't need the money" then smiled. I was super grateful and thanked him profusely. I don't turn down free stuff, I'm not dumb! My husband goes, "I've never been offered something for free." We both laughed. Well I laughed. 😁 I said, "I'm sorry." He thinks it's because I'm white and blonde. It helps a little, probably, but I think it's also because I'm warm and nice to people. Life is not always equitable for all (I haven't been paid well in general that's one example), but I would feel bad if I was a bad person, but since I'm not, I don't feel all that bad. I am nice back to people without ever wanting something in return. And that's the difference, that's the key. If you are just instinctively friendly, drawn to them like a magnet, there's nothing wrong with that.

[Anonymous]

usually the guys i've dated in the past haven't choked up it seems (they seemed to have confidence to approach me which is why we're dating in the first place). its great because i don't think i'll ever be the type to approach a guy first. my boyfriend said im pretty and cute but he might be biased

[JackSmy]

"Choked up"? WTF? NO! She's just another person, and the secret to getting her to like you, in my experience, is to make her laugh, and not seem 'desperate'! If you are a babbling idiot, she isn't going to be interested, well, maybe, if she is a "Speech Therapist" but how common are they!! LOL!!
I've approached so many, with the "I DON'T CARE" attitude, because I don't! I talk with her, and maybe she laughs, and wants to know more, and we chat, maybe not. So what, if she doesn't like me, or laugh. MILLIONS more to meet, and chat up!!

[DrunkAss]

Just a general problem, no? Like I don't have that because I was touchy-feely with all da girls -- old ones, fat ones, young ones, pretty ones, super hot ones. I touch and flirt with all of them. I figure the guys who act all weird are trying to select too much for even basic social interaction. It wasn't like I dated the weird or old or fat ones. I just touched them. It's not like it kills me to dance with old or fat or weird woman. I dance with all.

[RawIronhide]

Lol. I get it man. No, honesty some guys just have trouble with interaction, there's not always a particular reason like that. Good on ya bro, even fat chicks need lovin.

[DrunkAss]

I am like Casanova to fat women. I twirl their heavy bodies around in the moonlight and kiss them on the cheek while their hands linger over my shoulder, craving more as I pull back and wish them a good night. That is how you get the pretty girls. You gotta practice on the fat ones first.

[RawIronhide]

😂 thanks for the advice.

[DrunkAss]

I got this sort of impression like I came off like a complete asshole. I might be. But I could still make even the fat ones smile at the end of the day. And those skills carry over even to supermodels.

[RawIronhide]

I don't judge based on that but some may, I think it's nice of you to give them a good night even if you don't commit for whatever reason. That's your prerogative.

[DrunkAss]

I'm a fun-loving type. A bit impulsive and reckless and times, and sometimes disastrously irresponsible. But easy to get dates, friends, being this way. My challenge was not making them but keeping them. Maybe we can share notes. As I get older, I find my way is starting to become juvenile, and irresponsibility and a yearning for adventure is not so cool at 40+ years old. But you embrace even a little bit of this and it will be easy to stay loose and relaxed around girls.

[RawIronhide]

The older I get the more I realized how overrated being an adult is. I can still take care of my obligations and be responsible whail maintaining a playful personality, but not everyone understands. People more or less tell me to grow up sometimes. I do find myself being more impulsive, I'm trying to focus that into something positive. As for women, I adore them, all kinds. I think sometimes there's too much I want to say or expess and so I clam up. I don't know, maybe I just need more exposure and experience. My first priority is being a decent, fun guy with an interesting life. If I can do that I hope everything els will come along with it. Thank you for sharing!

[DrunkAss]

It is not so different to me between girls and guys in my experience. I restrain myself more with guys when they talk to me because I understand they have a sense of pride, honor, pride/honor (sometimes they are the same). But being good with guys can translate at least 70% or so with being good with girls... and you practice with strangers. Because that's when you counter-intuitively feel like you got the most to lose but actually have the least.

[dwiller943]

My boyfriend was like that when we 1st met.
Which is strange, since I'm not pretty.
But yet, he claims I am.

[Jamie05rhs]

Because they hypnotize you.

[Waldoe]

Raw sexual attraction... makes guys brain dead

[gabzz001]

They're scared of being rejected

[Marioz86]

rejection is a bitch women fear that too I wish there was a rule where women must aproach men first for every second year in calender you would know what we must go trought to win you over.

[Anonymous]

It's just nervousness for me. I don't really get it anymore either. It's like I've already been through it and it's really not something I think as much about anymore.

[Anonymous]

I don’t know it’s just a reflex I guess but it’s annoying