Does it make me a slut to wear "provocative" clothes?

[Cherrypieee1221]

My boyfriend has told me multiple times that I look like a slut, but wearing things such as short skirts and underboob crop hoodies make me feel very confident. He also said that I looked like a prostitute because I wore shorts (they covered to just below my ass, but they fit well and showed curve) and a cropped tank top to go for drinks with the girls. Is he right or is it okay for me to wear these things?

[MrOracle]

Your image - which includes your choices of clothing, makeup, hairstyles, and other things like tattoos, piercings, etc., are all a sort of "advertisement" that you are presenting to the world to represent you. People naturally look at the choices that you've made and translate that into a probable attitude and worldview - and they do this to everyone, all the time.

Now, part of that observation is going to include the context of your location and situation: what is appropriate for tanning on a beach is different than what's appropriate for a family reunion, which is different than what's appropriate for a nightclub, which is different than what's appropriate for a funeral. Your outfit/style is generally going to be judged based on this context.

Now, the clothes you describe are extremely sexual in nature, show a lot of skin in provocative ways, and they "advertise" you in a particular way: as a girl who is available for casual sex. Of course, you are only too well aware of this, so don't pretend you aren't. You are dressing this way because you are seeking male (and to some degree female) attention, and I'm sure you get plenty of it.

And maybe this would be okay if you were going to a party with your boyfriend where only people of your age group would be present, and if you stuck by him the whole night - but it's absolutely inappropriate to wear when he's not around, because you are effectively advertising yourself as a single girl out to get laid (at best - as a literal whore at worst), and given that you are in a relationship, I completely understand why he objects. Literal sluts and whores dress this way because they are advertising their status - so why are YOU advertising the same status unless you are looking for the same kind of attention they are?

[Underworld158]

Ok just take it easy. Why society needs to dictate and label women according to the way they wear? and why its always about men. Some women really dress in a sexy way just because she is proud of her body and bragging. And not to say she is sexually available. I mean a serial killer doesn’t go around with a chainsaw on the street. And a prostitute doesn’t walk around naked all the time. A man who wears a suit isn't always a business man. believe me our clothes says too little about us. As George michael said ( sometimes the clothes do not make the man)

[Cherrypieee1221]

you should write novels wow, you just pulled like an entire Bible verse out of my dress style I'm impressed.

[Hogwheels]

Not at all, but if you love him, you should dress more modestly. He wants the intimate parts of your body to be private. Its a perfectly reasonable desire for a boyfriend. However, if he used the word slut about you, even if just implicitly, he is not the right guy for you. You deserve better.

[Cherrypieee1221]

thank you for this advice. I'll go for more modest clothes, and I'll try talking to him about what he calls me

[Hogwheels]

I hope things go well for you. If he can't respect you, I promise there are other guys out there who will.

[Cherrypieee1221]

thank you, you and another user are both saying that and it's really helping

[Hogwheels]

Even if you decide to break up with him, I think you'll attract more respectful guys with more modest clothing. But honestly, your clothing is up to you. I just think by dressing provocatively, you're making it harder on yourself to find a guy that'll treat you right.

[Hogwheels]

I don't say that to shame you. I just say that to warn you, provocative clothing often attracts disrespectful men. And modesty often attracts respectful men.

[Cherrypieee1221]

thank you so much, I'm giving the guy a month and if not then I'm leaving him, and I think I'm going to stay out of relationships for a while. I'm too young to be held down and to not be able to go out and look like there's less fabric than there is in a scarf-

[Hogwheels]

Seriously, good for you!

[Cherrypieee1221]

bajdnwkrje thank you

[Schizoaffective]

I understand him a bit
Because he might think it makes you more confident because you get more attention from other guys that way.
If that's not the case make it sure for him, reassure him that you're just confident in your own skin and don't see the need to hide it.
Another option could be to feel confident without feeling the need to expose that much, or to feel confident regardless of how you look like. Because your looks aren't what define you or the best you have to offer.

[GrimmGothBabe]

If You like it its okay, besides most clothes for women are made to be provocative so honestly its difficult to wear other things. He probably is being a dick about it because he feels that wearing those things means he think you'll cheat on him or he is jealous that other guys look at you

[Angela_S]

Of course not. People have also called me a slut as I do tend to wear a lot of short skirts. However, I discovered that the people who tend to call girls sluts, are usually other women who would never look as good in them, or men who secretly like what they see, but have no chance of getting the girl, and are therefore annoyed they got helplessly turned on. lol

[Jooying]

How old is he? Sounds like he might live in the age of medieval or something... Shorts or short skirts are so common these days. I have most my outfit with skirts or dresses.

[pinkHippo]

No, I don't think so. I think you can wear whatever you want, this is your body, you can do whatever you want to make you feel comfortable and pretty.

[hannah7]

There's nothing wrong with you. A real man wouldn't call his girlfriend a slut or a prostitute! Find a new boyfriend!

[Cherrypieee1221]

I wish I could but he's the only person who will ever love me

[hannah7]

Aw girl there's no way that's true! There are so many people out there and you are so lovable!

[OlderAndWiser]

You can dress however you want but many guys would agree with your boyfriend.

[TheorionMage]

'Straight up' NO bullshit...
males judge other male's peer prestige by the allure of their FAITHFUL companions.
Your appearance accords you 'desirability' BUT... HOW YOU respond to the inevitable 'come on's
from his friends... raises BOTH Your and His prestige.

DON'T mistake envious jealousy for bonafide hypocritical censure!
They 'judge' you PUBLICLY and go home and FAP off frantically in private!

IF you WERE to allow them to think they had a chance with your allegedly 'slutty' self...
they'd suddenly change their opinion, if YOU were on THEIR arm!

YOUTH & BEAUTY are perishable commodities --- ENJOY your day-in-the-Sun!
Whom are YOU 'saving it' for?

[MissDawn7961]

he is right ! thanks

[charon142]

every person has it's own style if you feel good wearing it then it doesn't matter

[Cherrypieee1221]

thank you, I'll try to do what makes me feel happy

[ohshee]

No it makes you a teenage teen age girl who has her own style that makes her feel good

[ohshee]

It kinda sounds to me it's his loss , there's nothing wrong with being a confedent beautiful women who like to be seen or feel the way they want to feel for me that's what makes a girl sexy and even more beautiful

[SavySav]

Hell no wear what you want!

[CriticalDiscourse]

Sounds like you need a less shitty boyfriend.

[Lostguuy]

She definitely does

[CriticalDiscourse]

@Lostguuy Much agreed my lost male friend.

[Lostguuy]

Too many asshole out there like that

[CriticalDiscourse]

@Lostguuy Yupp.

[psychoticanimallover]

He sounds like a Christian, and not a Christian Grey.

[Cherrypieee1221]

bajdnajen I came back to check replies and this made me laugh. He's atheist, but honestly the way he acts is veryyy... "Men rule, women cover up unless men say not to"

[psychoticanimallover]

Why are you with him then? Is he hung like a whale?

[Cherrypieee1221]

I'm with him because I can't really leave without him going and doing stupid things. Also because I love him.

[psychoticanimallover]

Well, being a “slut” has to do with sexual partners, not clothes. But just remember, it’s just a word someone made up, just like the ‘n’ word - just like any pejorative that attempts to shame and suppress. You can choose not to let it bother you, or you can react. Personally, I think he sounds like a wanker and that you’re potentially screwing up your life by staying with him, but you love him, so there’s that. Him calling you a slut is probably based on insecurity and jealousy, but it doesn’t excuse it. Maybe he’ll grow up. Maybe he won’t. Only time will tell.

[Cherrypieee1221]

I'll see how it goes, and thank you so much. it feels better knowing it's just a word.

[psychoticanimallover]

@asker I think you are better off. Chin up!

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

I don't know.
Last time I dressed like a priest for a grift it still didn't make me a minister.

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

Also that time I dressed up like a policeman for another job. That didn't make me an actual officer

[Sarahr123]

Men have nasty intentions and boys know that which is why they say things like this

[jshm2]

At 17? You'll catch a fucking cold, and hypothermia, kiddo.

Also, your boy is just insecure, that people think he's your pimp.

[Kaneki05]

No it don't and you should find a better guy.

[Cherrypieee1221]

I love him, he's just a little bit off sometimes

[Alpha09]

No it does not. It doesn't make you anything. Wear what you want.

[jtesla90]

Do what u want, or make a compromise. I recommend making the deal sweeter for ur man. If u want to dress that way, thats awesome. Slip into the conversation that you are all his when u get home or something to that affect. If he sees an opportunity to make sure he can keep his relationship secure, he will be more ok with it.

[Haelaeix123]

If thats what you want to wear then you should be able to wear it. It's not slutty to wear more revealing clothing

[w0810lv]

Nope not to me I loved that other guys wished the could have but she's mine it was a turn on for me