Are You Into Or Not Into Casual Sex/Hook-Ups/Friends W/Benefits? Why Or Why Not?

Question

My answer:  I'm personally not into it and here's why... *Prefer raw sex-what was the point of getting my tubes taken care of at 27 if I still have to use condoms 🤷🏼‍♀️ And casual sex with no condom is playing Russian roulette with STD's... *There's sex acts I wouldn't do with random hook-ups/casual sex- I ain't sucking no dick that's recently been in another female's pussy or ass or possibly some dude's ass 🤷🏼‍♀️ *Sex in a committed relationship with one person is the best way (in my opinion) to really get to know each other sexually, sexual likes/dislikes, turn ons/turn offs...

caring__1 · Accepted Answer

There is a difference between indiscriminate promiscuity and casual relationships that don't measure up to societal expectations. I don't see what indiscriminate promiscuity has to add to any person, other than momentary pleasure and potential for many types of complications.

Young people and older people are more likely to have alternative relationships. When we're young, summer romances and college sweethearts are acceptable, even knowing the likelihood of them continuing is slim. It's part of the exploration and discovery phase we all go through that helps us see ourselves and others more clearly. We want that connection, but we also are focusing on our education, career and finding ourselves. Long-term commitments take time and energy that may be lacking at that stage, and it may limit our ability to discover our true self..

Seniors often are set in their ways and don't want to make significant changes in the lifestyle they've become accustomed to. Maybe a city person doesn't see country living as acceptable or a country person doesn't see city-life as acceptable. If they find it hard to meet those who already live their lifestyle, and still value a special connection, they might find themselves more open to some type of involvement with someone who might be seen as less than ideal as a partner. As options dry up, we can become more flexible (within our specified limits). You could see this as friends with benefits, though the friends part probably carries more weight than the benefits.

We all have our preferences for ourselves, and those preferences may change over time. It's not our place to judge people on the choices they make. Hopefully, they think through their options before jumping into anything (including any complications that may result from that choice), but it is their choice to make.

OlderAndWiser · Accepted Answer

I had a few ONS and casual flings when Jimmy Carter was the president.

Now, I prefer a committed relationship. My partner is post-menopausal so pregnancy is not an issue. She got tested for STDs and so did I. There is no need for us to use condoms and I don't worry if anyone else has "parked his car in her garage." Our sexual relationship brings us closer together because it is based on mutual affection and respect for each other; we are not fucking but we are making love.

When people are young, perhaps they need to play around (don't say "experiment" because we are NOT talking about science!) to learn about their preferences and desires. When we get older, most of us know what we want and we want to park our car in he same garage every night. It makes life so much easier and so much more enjoyable! I never need to wonder "where did I leave my car last night?" :) :) :)

19magic · Accepted Answer

I thought I was into it a few years ago I was a wreck I was drinking loads did drugs, more than just weed (admittedly the drugs portion only lasted 9 months) but got a bit silly with it was smoking every day at one point and it got to the point if I didn't smoke I was drinking and if it wasn't either those two I had several hookups. Someone at my work said you're always bloody miserable you know that, and it shocked me to the core, I've always been that happy go lucky girl who all my friends looked to be happy and cheery at all times. I cut back a bit on the drugs and that's when I started to realise I was super lonely, I had no family near by, I was living with toxic backstabbing people and the random sex with guys was a product of wanting to be close to someone who was kind to me in one way and I remember listening to their heartbeats 😅 so yeah I thought I wanted sex and ons but that wasn't the reason at all lol but I don't care if it happens early on but I wouldn't want to do it straight away anymore

Cynicaldreamer · Accepted Answer

I'm flat out against it, and refuse to be with a guy that's into any of that!!!

I always ask a guy I'm interested in upfront what he's looking for. If he utters anything other than long term relationship?

Bye 👋

Why? Because I'm an old school woman that wants a long term, committed relationship with the right guy. That and unlike most people, I cannot sleep with someone unless I'm emotionally connected to him. In other words, a guy can't just be "hot" for me to sleep with him.

No hookups, one night stands, or that friends with benefits bs...
We all know what happens with most of those situations anyway: someone winds up falling for the other and getting hurt!

MrOracle · Answer

I much prefer to be in a relationship... BUT that doesn't mean that, when I'm not in a relationship, that I'd automatically pass on a chance for casual sex or friends with benefits. That would be like a hungry person passing on a meal because he wanted a steak dinner and was only being offered a burger - when you're hungry, you're gonna eat.

I think many women struggle to understand that men can separate sex and love and rationalize things like this, because most women really struggle to separate them, and as such, continually assume that they're the same thing - or mean the same thing - to men.

As I said, I would prefer to have sex within a relationship exclusively, but the reality is that it's MUCH more difficult to find a relationship partner than it is to find someone for a few hours of fun, and when you're a guy who isn't getting regular sex, you're not going to pass on many opportunities for sex even if it's just a ONS.

CrazyGirl2 · Answer

Definitely not!
Number one) I definitely don’t want to get pregnant, especially by a stranger!
Number two) I prefer satisfying sex with someone who knows my body, and what I like
Number three) I don’t want an STI because a $2.00 condom broke!
Number four) I actually prefer the emotional closeness of sex w/ someone I LOVE!!!

AlienParasite · Answer

If there's lack of emotional connection or the emotional connection is fading, I feel very uncomfortable doing anything sexual. So I'm not too much into it.

DizzyDesii · Answer

I need to be in love in order to have sex. So no im not into any of that. Im looking for longterm, not temporary fun. If i were to do foreplay type stuff (not including oral), its because i trust them enough to want to do those things and build up a relationship. But i’ve only ever done that with longterm crushes anyways

Little_Bumblebee · Answer

I'm not into them. Just isn't. I want t know the person I'm with and know that they at least care about me.

RemoErdosain · Answer

I've never done it, but I'm pretty sure that's not my thing. The emotional connection could make it a much more interesting experience. Besides, the risk is too high

JuliaStyles · Answer

Nope, not into it at all. As it is sex can break a kingdom or just a reputation. I don't need the drama.

CurlyGirl42 · Answer

Random hook ups/one night stands is not for me, but else I made it work with some. Actually all the things you have listed I was lucky to have in casual relationships.

A few I did trust enough to go raw after we had seen each other for months and got tested. One was also a friend of a friend and was just out of a relationship, so that was perfect for this.

Thinking about where a dick has recently been is not an issue at all for me. I need him to be clean in general and I expect a mature person to wash sufficiently after sex, and before having sex with someone else.

I tried several new sex acts in casual relations. I have no need for the emotional/romantic connection for many things. Maybe except very intimate, look deep in the eye kinda stuff, but I am anyway more into it rough and less intimacy during sex.

Lliam · Answer

I never found hookups gratifying and I would NEVER agree to share a girlfriend.
I'm on the same page as you, bbb.
I always liked girls who were picky and cautious; who were horny as hell, but pursued committed relationships with a "boyfriend" as opposed to fucking any guy who would fuck them. Once in a relationship, they were freaky, uninhibited little rabbits. They are what I would call normal, healthy, "good girls". They had good values and avoided risking disease or being used by ass holes. They loved men and sex but weren't skanks.
It's fun being committed to someone who thinks you are perfect for them.

HOAAH · Answer

Not into casual sex. I am extremely happy with my decision of only sex with my hubby.

Billie_ · Answer

I'm a hardcore monogamist. I don't like hookups I am far too jealous for all that.

tamtampro · Answer

I don’t like the idea of casual sex but somehow I do it 🥲

Vencam · Answer

As long as it leads to a stable sexual relationship with someone, I'm down for it.
I don't appreciate purely CASUAL sex, though, as I prefer to know my partner quite well, before we get intimate. In addition I definetly don't wanna end up switching partners every week, so I'm all for long, stable relationships

ArrowheadSW · Answer

Reminds me of a wine group that I used to hang out with several years ago. There was one lady who was "showing interest" in me. But after getting to know her, and people in the group, better, I realized that she was having an affair with a guy in the group who was like a sex addict. Uh, who knows what she might have been contracting from that guy. Needless to say, I didn't pursue that lady... LOL...

So, no, not into casual sex.

spartan55 · Answer

I'm never actively looking for hookups, casual sex, etc, but I certainly wouldn't turn such activities down. friends with benefits I won't do. I think it's pretty apparent from my opinions about friends with benefits on here how I feel about them.

psychoticanimallover · Answer

Personally I prefer dick that’s recently been in another man’s ass. It’s salty, just like I like my fries.

Jjpayne · Answer

For me, I'm waiting for something serious. Partly because of my faith but also because both of my parents told me that the first time you have sex it creates a strong bond and you have to be careful because sex is powerful and if it happens with the wrong woman it can wreck you emotionally. I'm pretty sure they are not a 100 percent true on that but I'm sure there is a nugget of truth to it. I want my first experience to be with someone I really love and care about and I hope she feels the same

Jayla2000 · Answer

Nope not into it. That would ruin sex for me. I look at sex as something I only wanna share with someone I care about. I don't wanna share my body, or sexual experiences with just anyone.

SphynxUK · Answer

Not into.

Jaximus-Lion · Answer

I am not into it! Because i want to be loved and i want to love back that special person when i can make them feel safe and happy, i love the connection between me and the other person where i get more than just sex but a partner that can depend on me and so do i the other way.

Are You Into Or Not Into Casual Sex/Hook-Ups/Friends W/Benefits? Why Or Why Not?

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