Why do men not become less sexually attractive as they age?

[psychoticanimallover]

I just watched a show with Kevin Bacon in it, thought ‘wow, he still looks pretty hot’, and Googled his age... HE IS 62!

Women are pretty much no longer ‘sex symbols’ by 30 (no offence intended to any women over 30, there are plenty of exceptions!) and yet men can apparently keep going to 60 something (maybe even later?) and still be hot. It’s mind boggling!

Is it just the way we see them? Their power and confidence, the social status of an older man who knows exactly what he wants and how to get it? If you stripped it all away until he became weak and insecure and needy, would he no longer be attractive? Is it that the shell is essentially a reminder of the creature we know is inside, like one of those optical illusions where your brain tells you the top line is longer even though they’re clearly the same length?

Would love to hear your thoughts.

[0112358]

" If you stripped it all away until he became weak and insecure and needy, would he no longer be attractive?" Men who are weak insecure and needy are not attractive, regardless of age.

As for the difference, it comes down to fertility, and different evolutionary advantages for men and women, and what proportion of our male and female ancestors actually had kids.

Basically we evolved having a lot of males NOT reproduce, but the most successful ones did. Species like that evolve in a way to take advantage of their environment more effectively. (The same is much less true for women, where having more women give birth = larger population. It's just better for the species if all those kids are descended from the most successful males). The more surprising question perhaps is why does female fertility drop? The answer is likely to devote resources to children of the newest generation, allowing for quicker generational turnover and faster evolution.

So we evolved in a world where having females reproduce for a while then stop reproducing and instead help their grandchildren was optimal, and where most males are frustrated and die, but the most powerful may keep reproducing for a long time.

End result: most young women are considered sexy, most men aren't considered sexy, but some older men are.

[psychoticanimallover]

But I’d like to think I (can’t speak for other people, but at least I) am not a slave to my biology, and can look with my own two eyes and reason with my frontal lobe rather than simply going along with my unconscious innate biases. Don’t you think humans have passed the point where this evolutionary response is so powerful? We are thinkers now.

[0112358]

No. Certainly not when it comes to arousal or lust. That's not to say our frontal lobe doesn't interact with the other systems in some ways (for example it's clear people find the idea of a 'healthy' partner attractive, and what they view as healthy changes over time. So I think there's some interaction between frontal lobe saying 'healthy' and attraction saying 'oh good'. Similarly, ideas about what's cool, or high status require frontal lobe analysis to feed that information back to the arousal system). Overall though, a lot of 'what's sexually attractive' is EXTREMELY based on evolution/biology, mixed with whatever shaped our sexual life especially through sort of puberty range when we're still forming.

[psychoticanimallover]

Yes I suppose so. But I guess the “thinking” part of modern humanity is choosing to go against those urges or to relearn preferences and behaviours that don’t align with those ingrained pressures.

[0112358]

Absolutely. We are not slaves to biology, they're one set of inputs, but not the only ones, in our entire lived experience and personality and so on. But your question essentially centered on that biological history, so that's what i spoke to! Even the biology part is complicated - it's fairly clear that both men and women have multiple reproductive strategies, and may play one or both at the same time (a more monogamous one and a less monogamous one). And those impulses on both sides are instinct driven too. Falling in love with one partner or a desire to cheat are both... impulses that we then deal with using our intellect.

[psychoticanimallover]

Yeeees, I mean I’m not criticising your input, just thinking it out. Would you say that our evolutionary responses have become a bad thing then, given that they are so outdated and evolution takes such a long tome to catch up? I don’t feel like any of those reproductive strategies have been relevant for a looong time, for many reasons, but mostly overpopulation and the changes to our social structures and laws. I guess also our bodies have changed at different rates (the evolutionary part of our brains very slowly but our physical health very quickly since we now live so much longer).

[0112358]

"Would you say that our evolutionary responses have become a bad thing then" In some ways they challenge us individually in terms of our health and well being - we have responses made for a very different world then the one we live in. Here I'm less thinking about modern relationships, and more thinking about you know, traffic, the internet, dealing with the tax department etc. You get a letter from the IRS, your body starts producing adrenaline, as though you might need to run, literally, from the taxman, or fight him. That's not helpful. I'd say more broadly that evolution pressured our species (and all) in ways that allowed it to reproduce and take advantage of resources. We did not evolve to be -happy-. Feeling happy is a carrot waved around by the systems that evolved that encouraged us to use our brains in ways that... let us reproduce and take advantage of resources (not actually to be happy). This is something that's been studied for thousands of years in various ways, and it's worth thinking about mentally 'how to be happy' and what sort of life you want to live.

[AustinMan]

It's in part that men are judged more on who they are and what they have, be it material or intangible. A man is said to be distinguished. I know a lot of women in their 60s who still look great.

[psychoticanimallover]

Yes that makes sense.

[Hangry22]

They groom themself well to seem attractive to the sugar babies and teens with daddy issues

[psychoticanimallover]

Lol 😌😌😌😌😌😌😌😌😌😌 We all have daddy issues, Hangry.

[Hangry22]

But we all don't find oldies attractive. I am still a little child😌

[psychoticanimallover]

No I know that of course. But I think a substantial amount of women actually do find men attractive at those ages, even if they would never actually date them because of other reasons (like incompatibility, maturity differences and the inconvenience of growing old separately).

[psychoticanimallover]

You are still a little baby kitten, Hangry. You need to cover your eyes when you see my questions, I don’t want to corrupt you. ☺️

[Hangry22]

You can say they are handsome or make a general judge on their appearance like celebrities Many people have said that line to me. But i am the one who ends up corrupting them more☺️

[strawberrylipstick]

i've never considered that before, but now I definitely have an entire list of older guys who could pin me- XD

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

That's not true.
The only woman I've ever felt real lust for is now 46 years old, she's as beautiful as she was twenty years ago when she first made me sit on her lap.

[psychoticanimallover]

It’s not your mum, is it?

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

No, my mother is 43. Plus she slapped me away if I ever tried to sit on her lap, unless it was for a photo or in front of her friends.

[psychoticanimallover]

It’s not your aunt, is it?

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

But curiosly enough, my fiancée has my mother' same name and they faintly resemble each other. Strange now that I think about it.

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

No, I'm not blood related with this woman. She's the sister of my aunt's dead husband.

[psychoticanimallover]

It doesn’t surprise me very much, Jean.

[psychoticanimallover]

Have you ever had sex with her?

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

Not really, no. There's been something, but no sex.

[msc545]

Never too late!

[Sam_The_Savage]

It's not about his age
It's all about your pussy is so desperate

[psychoticanimallover]

I mean, you’re not wrong.

[Meldrum]

Some men, like some women, start out 10 points ahead of the rest of us and, as they age they maintain those looks through diet and proper exercise. Then there's the rest of us that used to have a 40-inch chest and now it rests just above the crotch.

[COMMODOREII]

I disagree i think jennifer aniston is still pretty hot and would bone her and she is 51. Lol

[iFarted]

That only happens if they have "big dick energy"

[OddBeMe]

I just masturbated to Mrs Doubtfire.

Wait a minute...

[psychoticanimallover]

Well... 😌

[Valnac]

I’ve been called cute.

[CapitalismFailed]

Because they don't experience the menopause.

[psychoticanimallover]

Women don’t experience the menopause until 50 something though!

[CapitalismFailed]

40 actually. Wait and see!

[psychoticanimallover]

Most women experience menopause between 45 and 55.

[Mamamialetmego]

They look more charismatic and masculine as they age therefore more hot but not all men though. Only the ones who have good genetics.

[msc545]

Because as we age we usually have more money to compensate.

[msc545]

Also, men age like fine wine, while women age like milk. :)

[psychoticanimallover]

UHT or fresh? 😌

[msc545]

Depends.

[MrCreep]

You would like me then they wouldn't let me have my age 🤣

[Anonymous]

I agree w a lot of what the other men said. I think too women tend to stress out a lot more than us men do. For instances my girlfriend as well as femal friends always seem to have something on their minds. Always stressed about something. Little problems in a man’s life seem to be the end of the world in a lot of women’s lives.

[Anonymous]

Men ages like wine, women ages like milk. Women are attracted to older men. Just like men er attracted to younger babes. Thats just natural. Men keeps getting more attractive to women the older they get, while women starts growing unattractive somewere between 25 and 30. Its varies from woman to woman.

[psychoticanimallover]

I’m asking WHY though lol.

[Opinion Owner]

Biology. Its like why heterosexual women don't find other babes sexy, its just nature :P

[psychoticanimallover]

That’s such a simplistic answer! I want a conversation lol.