Could you be just friends after sex?

Question

Let’s say you hooked up with your best friend for the night. After doing so, you’re confused on where you stand with your friendship. Could you still be friends with them after making things intimate? Why or why not?

CurlyGirl42 · Accepted Answer

I think I can, depending on why we stopped having sex. Like there was this guy who was kinda keeping me on the side line for whenever he wanted sex. It was super uncool and I stopped it because of this. Don't think I would trust him enough to become friends after, though I think we could have been ok friends if he had not started having sex.

The man I had been seeing casually for some months actually just said he did not want to have sex with me anymore, because he had found out it was not for him when there are no real feelings. But he said he wanted to hang with me as a friend later when it is more distant. I think that is possible. He ended it well and on good terms, and he was a nice and cool person I liked hanging out with and if we can be friends later I think that will be awesome :)

Espresso-Grande · Accepted Answer

Yes, especially considering he's already a friend. . I value good friendships too much , so i wouldn't let one night of passion jeaopradize our friendship

broken_heart_at_48 · Accepted Answer

Sex can just be sex it doesn't always have to mean more. The best thing to do is make your wants and needs known beforehand but at this point just talk to him and ask him what he was wanting out of it and express your feelings. Just remember his feelings are just as important as yours and there weren't any promises made prior so you can't expect a commitment. Also if you're honest with him but are cool with however it plays out you're much more likely to win him over if that's what you're wanting

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

I think MOST of the time, no. In order to be "just friends", you'd have to not have feelings for them, and most people aren't going to be close friends with someone who isn't attractive to them in many ways, so if you get to the point where you have sex together, it would be unusual for at least one of the two not to have feelings for the other after having sex. And if one person has feelings and the other doesn't, you can't be "just friends" after having sex (with very few exceptions).

virgin20 · Answer

I don't think you'd ever be the same again, And either you would develop into something more or be friends with benefits. I don't think the sexual tension between you would ever go away and when 1 or other is horny you just help each other out.
I think it's something I want to happen

Stazz76 · Answer

When I read the comments below, there’s a full spectrum of answers from ‘hell yes – free sex with no strings attached’ to ‘it’s not possible because sex rewires the brain’…

So much or today’s relationship problems have come about because our modern lifestyle is in direct conflict with how our species has evolved:

Think about how helpless babies are without their parents. Human babies are more helpless than any other species - taking 18 years to reach adulthood and some level of maturity, and would simply die without any support. On average, babies whose parents split up do less well than babies raised by both parents, so from an evolutionary perspective, the bond we feel with people we have sex with is there for a reason, and is a direct result of Darwinian natural selection of babies that were well supported by both parents. This emotional bonding between sexual couples benefits our species and has been reinforced by over 100,000 years of evolution.

Now, it has only been half a century since mankind has figured out effective methods of contraception. This has opened up a world of ‘free love’ as some kind of entertainment with much less risk of negative consequences, however this time frame is nothing but a blink of the eye from an evolutionary perspective. This new age of free love has resulted in many people thinking that they can enjoy ‘no strings attached’ sex – and many can – but accidents happen. People get pregnant. We end up with epidemics of sexually transmitted infections. Rates of divorce go through the roof, and worst of all, it’s way more common than ever before for babies to be raised with less support than they would have had from two parents in a steady relationship.

So there’s a definite downhill trend: The more people have sex out of committed relationships, the more our species gets screwed.

That being said, to answer the original question, it may be possible to be just friends after sex, but those confused feelings are a direct consequence of a lifestyle at complete loggerheads with our evolution. Some people can make it work. Others can’t and end up getting depressed and screwed up emotionally. My take is that we all really should aim higher with finding that potential life partner before ‘hooking up’ so that this situation is less likely to come up in the first place.

BunChan · Answer

Personally, I don't think I can. If you cross that line, there is no going back. You don't sleep with your friends and you don't befriend your exes.

menina · Answer

No, I couldn't be friends with them. It would be strange to call them "friend" after having sex. We could either date or stop seeing each other.

Katie1964 · Answer

Sure why not. I wouldn't have had sex with him if I didn't at least like him.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

When I have sex with a woman, it makes me feel closer to her and desire her even more. . . not just desire her sexually, but desire her as a partner. I can't automatically turn off those feelings and the idea of just returning to a platonic friendship and acting as if the sex never happened. . . no, I couldn't do that.

HeyMikeyLikesIt · Answer

Yeah I’ve done it a couple times

FlyGirl95 · Answer

Yes be mature. Talk about it BEFORE you have sex. Establish emotional boundaries FIRST. Then and only then should you be having sex as friends.

Elliegirl · Answer

I think it’s possible.

Loubie-Lou · Answer

If you are just friends then what is the issue?  Sex is just sex, don't make it complicated when it doesn't have to be.

TruthBringer · Answer

Only delusional people think it's a yes. Last time I checked, the average 'friend' doesn't stick a dick inside you

VanillaSalt · Answer

Men are good at separating sex from relationships. That being said men often think after the first time they can get It again or can’t move on from it... that breaks friendships.

ShadezMcgee · Answer

It really depends on the attachment the person has. Typically the way I see it, it is hard to be friends after crossing from platonic to intimate when it comes to sex. That was the highest level of vulnerability and trust the two had and going to something less when having had that in the past complicates it.