Could you be just friends after sex?

[MrOracle]

I think MOST of the time, no. In order to be "just friends", you'd have to not have feelings for them, and most people aren't going to be close friends with someone who isn't attractive to them in many ways, so if you get to the point where you have sex together, it would be unusual for at least one of the two not to have feelings for the other after having sex. And if one person has feelings and the other doesn't, you can't be "just friends" after having sex (with very few exceptions).

[CurlyGirl42]

I think I can, depending on why we stopped having sex. Like there was this guy who was kinda keeping me on the side line for whenever he wanted sex. It was super uncool and I stopped it because of this. Don't think I would trust him enough to become friends after, though I think we could have been ok friends if he had not started having sex.

The man I had been seeing casually for some months actually just said he did not want to have sex with me anymore, because he had found out it was not for him when there are no real feelings. But he said he wanted to hang with me as a friend later when it is more distant. I think that is possible. He ended it well and on good terms, and he was a nice and cool person I liked hanging out with and if we can be friends later I think that will be awesome :)

[Espresso-Grande]

Yes, especially considering he's already a friend. . I value good friendships too much , so i wouldn't let one night of passion jeaopradize our friendship

[broken_heart_at_48]

Sex can just be sex it doesn't always have to mean more. The best thing to do is make your wants and needs known beforehand but at this point just talk to him and ask him what he was wanting out of it and express your feelings. Just remember his feelings are just as important as yours and there weren't any promises made prior so you can't expect a commitment. Also if you're honest with him but are cool with however it plays out you're much more likely to win him over if that's what you're wanting

[Stazz76]

When I read the comments below, there’s a full spectrum of answers from ‘hell yes – free sex with no strings attached’ to ‘it’s not possible because sex rewires the brain’…

So much or today’s relationship problems have come about because our modern lifestyle is in direct conflict with how our species has evolved:

Think about how helpless babies are without their parents. Human babies are more helpless than any other species - taking 18 years to reach adulthood and some level of maturity, and would simply die without any support. On average, babies whose parents split up do less well than babies raised by both parents, so from an evolutionary perspective, the bond we feel with people we have sex with is there for a reason, and is a direct result of Darwinian natural selection of babies that were well supported by both parents. This emotional bonding between sexual couples benefits our species and has been reinforced by over 100,000 years of evolution.

Now, it has only been half a century since mankind has figured out effective methods of contraception. This has opened up a world of ‘free love’ as some kind of entertainment with much less risk of negative consequences, however this time frame is nothing but a blink of the eye from an evolutionary perspective. This new age of free love has resulted in many people thinking that they can enjoy ‘no strings attached’ sex – and many can – but accidents happen. People get pregnant. We end up with epidemics of sexually transmitted infections. Rates of divorce go through the roof, and worst of all, it’s way more common than ever before for babies to be raised with less support than they would have had from two parents in a steady relationship.

So there’s a definite downhill trend: The more people have sex out of committed relationships, the more our species gets screwed.

That being said, to answer the original question, it may be possible to be just friends after sex, but those confused feelings are a direct consequence of a lifestyle at complete loggerheads with our evolution. Some people can make it work. Others can’t and end up getting depressed and screwed up emotionally. My take is that we all really should aim higher with finding that potential life partner before ‘hooking up’ so that this situation is less likely to come up in the first place.

[soleil2000]

There is a question there why would you want to?
To have other people for sex, so that one is just a friend?

In my view, you are better off being with just one person - life is not long enough to develop a fuck network and then switch it off when you find that special one; if you are having sex with others, the one special person will always elude you - so, you either go for polyamory from the start, or a 1-1 relationship.

It is a set of habits in any case - you can attend to multiple people's needs, or just one - but you first need to learn how to attend to one person to be able to attend to many.

Communism failed at this - everyone wanted someone else to attend to those they dumped. In the end, no president or leader was capable of self-exhausting to that level (in kingdoms the situation is a bit better since a lot less lying is involved, and you end up being expected to attend to the one person you choose to love, and then if they are happy - well, you can have another).

[guesswhoseback]

I expect more guys to vote yes then girls before seeing the poll.

As a guy I would MUCH rather get friendzoned after sex than before it. It’s happened a handful of times. Although it can be slightly heartbreaking that I can’t continue to date her at least I know she had at one point saw me as a real man.

95%+ of the time when a girl friendzones a guy (who is in dating range when looks, status, money, etc are in par) it’s because she doesn’t respect him as a real man. It’s a very deep insult most women will never comprehend.

She just sees him as another woman and puts on a front that she “cares” about him when in reality she just wants to take advantage of him.

[OlderAndWiser]

When I have sex with a woman, it makes me feel closer to her and desire her even more. . . not just desire her sexually, but desire her as a partner. I can't automatically turn off those feelings and the idea of just returning to a platonic friendship and acting as if the sex never happened. . . no, I couldn't do that.

[virgin20]

I don't think you'd ever be the same again, And either you would develop into something more or be friends with benefits. I don't think the sexual tension between you would ever go away and when 1 or other is horny you just help each other out.
I think it's something I want to happen

[Angelo75]

No. Cuz usually when I see that person I can't stop fantasizing and wanting another round with her.
It's torture.
And in the rare cases where I wouldn't like the sex, that would probably mean that the friend herself wouldn't be good in bed. But that would mean that if i had sex with her SHE would be crazy for more sex with me, while I wouldn't want to. That would destroy her.
So in the end it's a bad idea either way.

[coolhandroo]

Most of my female friends and I have had sex when the friendship is strong. If you respect your friends like you should it is an attractive quality and all friendships have a level of intimacy by design. The only problem that can arise is jealousy if one of you wants it to be more than friends or is just seeing them with someone else afterwords but if you take it for what it is I think its the best part of being friends with girls

[Myk13]

It’s a lot easier if you talk about that stuff before you have sex. If you know that it’s only sex before. It’s much easier on your friendship. If you don’t talk about it first and one of you is hoping that sex will turn into a relationship. You’re friendship may be over. In reality, if one of you wants a relationship, they clearly don’t have the balls to bring it up or you would be in the friend zone in the first place.

[ShadezMcgee]

It really depends on the attachment the person has. Typically the way I see it, it is hard to be friends after crossing from platonic to intimate when it comes to sex. That was the highest level of vulnerability and trust the two had and going to something less when having had that in the past complicates it.

[VanillaSalt]

Men are good at separating sex from relationships. That being said men often think after the first time they can get It again or can’t move on from it... that breaks friendships.

[MarieBerg]

Women reported their own unique costs and benefits in opposite-sex friendships. They were more likely to experience the benefit of their male friends paying for outings and enjoyed the physical protection of those friends. (Men saw these as costs of time and money.) Women also enjoyed the ability to network through male friends.

[BunChan]

Personally, I don't think I can. If you cross that line, there is no going back.
You don't sleep with your friends and you don't befriend your exes.

[Browneye57]

You were never 'just friends' in the first place. This doesn't exist in mixed-sex friendships, it's impossible. One or the other will always want more.
This has been well settled and addressed. Just google it.

[ultimega]

It's hard question to answer as I don't do casual sex.
I've tried it once in the past (not proud of) and felt different about the guy afterwards. Like in a detached way and ended up taking a step back from them as it felt wrong..

[EaterPeter]

Sex changes something in our mind. It flips a like dislike switch. If he gave you an orgasm you are likely to think differently about him and it's not easy to switch back and forth that mind set. Either you are buddies or you are fuck buddies. There is no back and forth. I mean you can be buddies but now you are not just buddies.

[Loubie-Lou]

If you are just friends then what is the issue?

Sex is just sex, don't make it complicated when it doesn't have to be.

[Floppy2112]

Sex will change the relationship, but it doesn't have to end it. Sure it's better to discuss it beforehand but I doubt that actually happens, people usually get caught up in moments.

[FlyGirl95]

Yes be mature. Talk about it BEFORE you have sex. Establish emotional boundaries FIRST. Then and only then should you be having sex as friends.

[Apope16]

Sure. I've fucked several friends. Some close some not as close. Still on good terms. Some are fuck buddies who can call anytime. And do.

[Vetis]

Not to get nerdy but I think a lot of girls use sex to secure a male friend. I think a lot of girls love the idea of having their own simps, and will at least subconsciously use sex as their main seductive weapon.
I hate it when "I think". Nobody likes me.

[iFarted]

In the past if I did have sex with my best female friend, I wouldn't develop romantic feelings for her but I'd probably want to have sex with her again and again. It wouldn't change how I felt for her as a friend at all.

[darkcloud1945]

Why not it could be taking care of a mutual itch and does not to mean anything if it is done as a mutual scratch of a mutual itch if neither has a boy or girlfriend it takes care of the itch.

[Amaoctober]

Once you light up the fire it's so easy to light up again and again. The question is, how is your love life the two of you? Do you each have someone? The answer must come from there

[menina]

No, I couldn't be friends with them. It would be strange to call them "friend" after having sex. We could either date or stop seeing each other.

[Katie1964]

Sure why not. I wouldn't have had sex with him if I didn't at least like him.

[Jimbod37]

I got a good friend me and her hocked from time to time but not anymore since she is married we knew we to different to have a relationship and we were fine with it

[sakshamsadana]

Obviously you can be friends! Sex is a human need and you have it with the person you feel comfortable with. And it's obvious that you feel comfortable with your friend, and there is no awkwardness unless there's isn't proper communication.

[Walamagicc]

Never been in this situation before so I don't know

[clampfan101]

Possible, but certainly not preferable to me. I only want sex with my future wife.

[Twalli]

I don't hookup. We've been dating a while before we have sex

[crmoore]

You can but I think there always might be that inclination

[TruthBringer]

Only delusional people think it's a yes. Last time I checked, the average 'friend' doesn't stick a dick inside you

[Sarahr123]

Yeah if you’re not a teenager and know there are no strings attached and accept it completely

[Kabluie]

Yep, it's worked so far and many have gone on to. being 15+ years friends after having sex.

[Anonymous]

That depends. Many I have dated and were in relationships with, I could be friends and even have an EX as a room mate.

[Orangesareyummy]

Sex rewires your brain. It’s not advisable to do it with anyone yoh don’t want a sexual relationship with.

[Waldoe]

recreational sex is fun, nothing else to consider...

[mia98]

Sure if you communicate with friends with benefits or whatever your looking for.

[Drunkfrank]

I think it's definitely possible depending on what sex means to you. Sex to me is an expression of love so it would def be weird to do it with a friend and then stay friends.

[Anna_Fox13]

This is a very fine line. But, I think, in adults adequate people such relationships are also possible

[Anonymous]

Yes. Normally my hookups doesn't want to be friends with me. Just someone to fuck then that's it

[Dinosaursandanime65]

Sounds really awkward. Heads down air strike danger close get ready for a world of hurt.

[NightOwl8801]

If you both are honest and open and communicate with each other your feelings then you could still be friends

[paraXaraq]

Of course, as long as there is mutual understanding and communication of what then situation is both parties should be able to maintain the friendship, who knows could develop over time into something more or just a better friendship.

[LukeMerchant]

If your behaviour has been correct all the time, why not?

[masonderek6994]

It's just sex no actual relationship or feelings need to be involved. That's why friends with benefits exist. I've been friends with many like this and am still friends with many.

[Gedaria]

Why not, if you like her enough for sex, why not to be friends.

[harry7825]

Yes of course
I don't think sex can't change anything between friends

[JennieF]

Yeah. I'm still friends with one of my college boyfriends.

[JamesRandiDebates]

Not really. They become one of the chicks I've boned. That's how I will always think of them.

[bananathunder]

i have many times. It's not that hard if you understand that you were just helping each other out ;)

[legalboxers]

my friendship is strong and if the sex is mindblowing of course I will stay

[Avicenna]

I couldn't. I develop an emotional bond with a woman I have sex with.

[Joel91]

We were friends then had sex then it becomes like friends with befenits then we are not in contact anymore. She is married anymore

[themythos]

I say no. I'm not into hookup culture and think you shouldn't be just having sex for the thrill. It can easily ruin friendships.

[Bookluvr25]

Ithink with certian people it is an option and others its not. It rely depends on if either one developed any real feelings for the other.

[007kingifrit]

the people who said yes to this just don't understand themselves

[HeyMikeyLikesIt]

Yeah I’ve done it a couple times

[Anonymous]

That's what usually happens if I'm not interested in dating them

[sheikalana]

It can happen. But not with every guy tho.