Sexual Relationships
+1 y

Is not having sex with your partner as a punishment toxic? If yes, are you obliged to have sex with your partner although this can be also toxic?

I really dont understand when people say that holding sex from your partner is extrem toxic. You can leave. you can have no sex with someone for no reason. You dont need a reason. I mean even if someone use this as a way to manipulate you, this person is still not obliged to have sex with you. So i really i can't understand how this is even a big deal I am just confused. If my partner try to do this to me, i would not be that mad at him since he ain't obliged to have sex with me. I would try to communicate with him
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+1 y
What would you do if your partner dont want to have sex? Are going to force her?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • It is toxic without a doubt and its not as simple as u must have sex because yes if u don't want sex that in itself as fine but to do it because you know tour partner wants it and you are doing it to punish is toxic the same way u could replace the word sex in that sentence with any type off affection in a relationship and it would still be toxic

    • No of it becomes somthing long term I would ask why

  • I don't think that is punishment.
    I don't get it and neither does she. That is bad for both.
    No I would not force her. I would just masturbate.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • I'd say yes.
    Now not having sex with your partner because you don't want to and a multitude of other reasons is fine. Withholding it specifically to punish them seems spiteful.

    Basically if I feel the need to take away my partners PS5 or equivalent every time we have a conflict, then perhaps I am not ready for a relationship.
    That doesn't mean I can't decide not to play together. I feel your confusion comes from not separating the reason with the act.

  • I guess we see the world differently. Once I'm in a relationship, I expect sex pretty much on demand from either party. I expressly get her agreement that there are two things we never, ever weaponize: sex and communication. None of this no sex and not talking.

  • I don't know

    It just means you guys aren't sexually compatible

    If you love sex just as much then you are punishing yourself in a sense


    So if women use it that way they could care less about sex and the guy needs to move on to someone who he is more sexually compatible with

  • I mean come on this isn't a tactic that most men use. Usually if I'm not wanting to have sex with you I'm not caring about manipulating you I'm not even caring if we have sex ever again. I think that's more of a tactic women use cause they know they can usually hold out longer plus they can knock one out easier than a man

  • I think it is a little bit but maybe not in the way you are thinking, From your perspective I would think that, with a lover who cared enough and knew enough, to make sex as pleasurable for you as it is for him. It doesn't sound like that's the case since you don't sound like it will be difficult for you to abstain as it sounds like you think it will be for him. Does he care- and is adroit enough to give you however many orgasms you get in the normal course of events.
    I'm way too turned on by a woman's arousal and orgasms to ignore that and I'd like to think that whomever I was dating would find it at least as much of a hardship as I would

  • I wouldn't consider it toxic and even if it was, you certainly shouldn't be obliged to. That's like willful rape, if that makes any sense.

  • Emotional blackmailing is not just toxic, but abusive.

  • Should never be a punishment. I feel obligated to have sex if she wants. Not saying I don't enjoy but if I'm not in the mood I still will. It is a human need and she can only get it from me so I won't deny her.

  • Either demanding or withholding sex as a bargaining chip in a relationship is toxic. Sex is not a ccx right. It is also not actual to get what you want. Anyone who sees it as such and uses it in that way is the reason why your relationship is toxic.

  • Using sex as a weapon is unacceptable.

    As for having sex with a SO when "you don't want to", is it fair that he can't go elsewhere for sex but you won't have sex with him?

    Withholding sex from your SO is default permission for him to seek sex elsewhere.

    • There is no reason to cheat, you little old dick. Stop making cheating normal, you little fucktard. Bye

    • Just break up instead of cheating. There is no reason to cheat but thank you for your bullshit reply

  • It is toxic to not have sex with your partner. But too much sex is also toxic. But y'all have to draw the line of too much and too little sex

  • Not having sex strictly as a punishment is toxic
    Not having sex because you're upset and not in the mood isn't.

  • It's fkn dumb

  • Any girl I’ve had sex with really enjoyed it and came looking for it.
    If I ever met one that didn’t, I would definitely leave.

  • very toxic

  • Well I've definitely read through some of your responses and through the responses that some of the men have delivered here. I think the best way to reply to you would be to start off with a question... Do you consider being intimate a vital part of any relationship? Since everyone will agree sex is being intimate with one person and also being intimate with someone would also entail hugs, cuddling, soft kisses, etc... Would you be able to be in a relationship completely avoid of all intimacy? For many years, for even longer than I've ever been dating, men and women have always made a point to make sure the other person knew where the line was drawn. Hence, this was what the courtship (dating) phase was use to find out. I do not believe any man or woman has ever denied that as soon as the relationship became serious and “exclusive”, the other partner always declared there was a change in their relationship. many have said it was a good change, while the other party extremely objected to the reverse in the intimacy. However, since you are looking for an explanation , you're never going to get a clear cut answer except for this one:“whatever you define as a change in intimacy, unless it is agreed by both, you might as well deem the point of change as a reset button and allow the other person to modify their participation in the matter up for debate.”if there is a problem with the house and if your husband / boyfriend can't work on your plumbing, you don't exactly wait around for him to learn... You hire A handyman , don't you?

  • Yes, withholding sex is toxic and I would break-up immediately. If a woman really wants and likes sex she won't withhold it.

    • So you think a woman is obliged to have sex?

    • In a relationship I expect it.

    • Do you also obliged to have sex everytime she wants?

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  • Personally, if a girl can't satisfy my needs and would restrict my access to sex, I would leave in 2 seconds.
    It is one of the duties of the partners to take care of the other's needs.
    If it is a medical problem I would understand, but even so if it is long term something still needs to be done. BJ, HJ
    If the girl doesn't want sex, I can find millions more who don't want it either.

    • Then why are you even start a relationship. Relationship is not only about sex. I mean would you be ok if your wife leave you just because you can't give her orgasms every time she wants? You sound like a fuckboy/cunt

    • I mean you are honest in the very beginning of the relationship, then at least your intentions are clear and you are honest which is good

    • yes, you need to be honest from the beggining of the relationship. I told all my girls bogore starting the relationship that i have big needs for sex and i can't stay long time whit NO sex. I want a relationship wher get girl get my D any time she want and need and i take the P when i wante and need. It whas moments when my girls wake me up at 3-4 in the mornin afther we go to sleep at 12am just for sex even if they know i need to wake up at 7 and they wake up at 9-10. But i whas taking them as well lather in the day in moments when they want to do something else. Because first whas our relationship then anithing else (exept work and education, family, traditions)

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  • But would u want to have sex with ur partner?

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