Why does my boyfriend watching porn make me feel sad?

Ok, maybe it doesn't make me "sad". It makes me feel weird and I just can't put my finger on why. I know it's not jealousy or anger. I'm kinda the worst at deciphering my feelings haha

I am a pretty confident girl, and I'll be the first to admit I watch porn too. My boyfriend and I have a very open relationship and we communicate very well. I love him and he loves me and life is good when we are together.

The other night we were laying in bed talking about porn. We were discussing our first porn experiences, how often we watch it, what kinda stuff we were into, want to try out, and what kind of stuff we had 0 interest In (for example, the butter churner). All was good until he mentioned that sometimes he would look up "blonde", or "redhead", or "little boobs" or all these random physical characteristics. I don't know why that made me feel so uneasy because nothing leading up to that point did.

Maybe it made me uncomfortable because I can always act out a fantasy with him or try something interesting he found, but I can never be the big titty blonde girl with long legs.

I am not even sure what I am asking in this question haha. Maybe someone diagnose me with something so I know what I am feeling so I can talk to him about it or just chill myself out.
0 2

Superb Opinion

  • I think you're actually correct for having mixed feelings about it. Perhaps it's because he began to talk about body parts rather than taking another person as a whole. Guys do that sometimes, it's understandable if it puts you off. We don't mean to do that most of the time. It's good you two are open with each other about it so you should talk to him about it, he'll understand. I think he was just full green light when he should have tip toed.

    • I think you worded that perfectly! Sometimes I feel like we are too comfortable around each other and just say whatever we are thinking, which can sometimes - like this situation- be a little hurtful. I think it was the fact that he was specifically searching for girls that had completely opposite body characteristics from me

Most Helpful Guy

  • Maybe he's not getting the full sexual benefits he wants from you that's why he's watching porn. Like if he can't fuck you in the butt or do FMF or MFM then it porn. You should show him documentaries on what happens after porn.

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 7
  • If I would have a girlfriend, I would definitely quit porn. I don't know why but these two just don't tag along from my perspective.

    • And that’s completely your choice and I respect you for it! I usually don’t mind as long as it doesn’t give the guy any unrealistic expectations

    • Indeed it's everyone's choice.

  • subconciously your comparing yourself to the women he sees in porn.

  • You feel insecure about yourself because you feel that you're not enough but he maybe pick up some tips on what to do next to kind of make things will get better for you maybe you should join him so y'all both can have a funner time

  • How often do you have these chats

    • About porn? We make lots of porn jokes and sometimes it’ll come up in conversation. Like we make jokes all the time but we will probably have some sort of conversation revolving around porn like 1-2 a month

    • Pm me?

  • Because of the meaning you place on his viewing porn

  • Sounds like you are overthinking this.

  • you are a trip... lol... suddenly it wasn't a generic "Porn" topic anymore, it was specific and not all about you. it was about "Not you" how was that for psycho babble?

    • Woahhhh I think you might’ve nailed that one. Yeah maybe I was offended/ put off by the fact that he was looking for girls that had 0 similarities to my body type and he was SEARCHING for it. I understand guys like a little variety (and I do too) but I guess it just hurt my feelings a bit haha.

    • you're allowed to feel, its good to know why, it won't change anything, just your own self awareness... now, dump the Bastard... lol

  • You feel insecure because you look nothing like the women he describe.