Kinky dating advice for submissive?

[Beckz0811]

i started casually dating this Dom kinky guy and we went on a few dates and i was very interested at first, we had chemistry, he brought me out to nice restaurants and was a true gentleman and everything, so i felt comfortable and we had a few playing sessions, but now i just feel like that’s all it is and was and we don’t have anything else to progress us further. He’s not trying to get to know me at all as a person. When i initially started talking to him i just liked his vibe and company and now im feeling so disconnected, we go days without talking and then ill get a random message asking how my “bruises and marks” are. It feels so transactional, all we talk about is kink. Being kinky and dating is hard i feel like a lot of guys just want to play and that’s it. Initially i was ok with that because being alone all the time sucks... but now i just feel like im wasting my time on another guy who isn’t really interested in me as a person or progressing things further because it’s apparent. I don't know what im doing wrong i keep going for emotionally unavailable men, it’s upsetting because initially i actually felt chemistry which it’s been a very long time for me, but now i just feel bad about it and i don’t want to play anymore. i told him i was ok with just playing initially and being causal and i thought i was, but clearly im not if im starting to not like this. I don't know what’s wrong with me, i wish i knew what i wanted more. id like advice from other kinky people on if this something everyone goes through at some point.

[Anonymous]

That guy sounds gross. I think you should try and find someone that loves you first and then explore the kink aspect second.

[Beckz0811]

i think if we were like friends too then it would feel less transactional because then at least we would have some more things to talk about, but it just feels so transactional. He spanks, canes and paddles me and i give him head and he barely fingers me we don’t have sex... it’s weird, then afterwards i leave and we don’t talk about anything else. Just deciding that i don’t like it. thanks for the advice!

[Opinion Owner]

no problem If you find a seemingly regular guy who loves you and you bring out his Kink side that's wifey material. You will have a guy crushing on you super hard.

[Beckz0811]

Yea i think i need to get to know the person before being kinky

[DavidFox]

Don’t casually date men. I know it’s lonely but you will experience trans actual in casual dating.

[Beckz0811]

i guess i kind of felt that in a way it made sense to get to know each other, but i think deep down you’re right

[DavidFox]

And no, as I’ve learned to dom I’ve had real relationships and been connected to subs.

[DavidFox]

I saw you said you haven’t felt chemistry in a long time. Do you know why that is? Or know why you felt it with him?

[Beckz0811]

It was that unexplainable connected feeling from the first smile. It was just in the conversation and I’m kept going through the night... but now it just not enough.

[DavidFox]

Right, I’ve experienced that chemistry as well. Conversations can be very stimulating and it’s fun when someone is intelligent and on your level. Must feel disappointing it fell off and didn’t increase

[DavidFox]

Ty for MHO

[harry7825]

Because your early get connected
That's makes you really disappointed
You need to be clear first
Don't believe someone easy

[Beckz0811]

i think i get my hopes up and get a little lost in what could be before getting to know who they really are as a person, you’re right i need to see who they really are before connecting so easily

[harry7825]

Yes of course