Does she cheat on me (found the topless photo in her phone)?

[SimpleGuy97]

I am in a relationship with my girlfriend since high school.

For quite a time, she acts strange.

First, she put me in chastity when she found that I am a porn and masturbation addict, so she decided to stop that.
She gave me an ultimatum, wearing a chastity device or breakup. Of course, I picked chastity.
For the last 2.5 years, I am locked. I get unlocked whenever we have sex or spend alone time together. I got used to that and I am ok with that.

The main thing is that I think she is having sex with someone else.
Since summer when she was on vacation with her friends (without me) we have sex about once a month. And that is when I am really good and obedient and I literally have to beg for sex which can be pretty annoying.
I started to ask her questions she generally behaves strangely, she acts totally different.
But she always tells me that I am tripping and that I am overjealous.
I don't know, maybe I am really too jealous, but I feel we are distancing and I try so hard to take her back.

Back on the vacation, I recently found a photo of her posing topless in a thong bikini. I got pretty mad why didn't she show me that photo earlier and who the fuck did take that photo?
She insisted that it was taken by a friend and that I am insane and stuff like that.

The point is that she had such a great time on vacation and I was locked in chastity at home thinking about what she is doing there and is she having sex with some handsome guys there.

I really don't know what to think. I don't know how to find out the truth.
I love her and would not want to break up ever.
I planned to ask her to marry me but now I postponed that.

What do you folks think about everything?
Do you think I am too jealous? Do you think I just need to chill?
How would you react?

Thanks in advance!

[AmandaYVR]

You're a very organized writer. Nice job on the writing.
Still, it only feels like a small portion of the story.
I can't really comment in any meaningful way, with this amount of info.
I think you shouldn't rely on strangers on the internet to assess whether or not your girlfriend is cheating on you. That's dangerous, and giving them way too much power.
Do you like being dominated? There seems to be an element of that here.
Your girlfriend helping you to fight any type of addiction would theoretically be a good thing, but the way she is going about this is what I would call immoral. But then, a lot of people are into a lot of things sexually, that are done to get off, not for any other reasons, actually.
If you're really 23, and you've been with her since high school, and your sex life is like this, I would not recommend getting married to her. But you love her. So you need to ask yourself is this a healthy relationship for you? We often want what is not good for us.

[SimpleGuy97]

WOW! Thanks for this detailed reply :) I tried to give as much valuable information and to remain as short as possible. I will try to provide you more info :) To answer your question first, yes I like being dominated. We are in some kind of sensual femdom almost from the beginning. Yeah, I might put it there like she is being rude to me about the chastity. Not at all. She wanted to stay with me but could not deal with my addiction. She was sick of me being impotent in bed and masturbating to porn all day long. There were months of negotiation about chastity and we agreed that it is the best way for us. And I agree with that, plus I really like giving up control to her. Chastity really saved our relationship and spiced up things a lot. Yes, I am turning 24 next month and we are together for 7 years. Sex was great in my opinion before. I really recovered from porn and began to focus on her. Also, I am not concerned if she had sex with some hot guy on vacation. It was vacation, I cannot blame her for that. And yes, I have cuckold fantasies :) What I am worried about is if she has an affair for months and she is not telling me that. That would really hurt me and our relationship. I tried to talk with her, but she would always convince me that there is no one else. But yeah, I cannot settle down. I still doubt. I question myself if the problem is with me.

[AmandaYVR]

I don't think the others have interpreted what you wrote correctly (but in part, I don't blame them. It takes a deft hand to understand this, and also to be able to read between the lines of what you are not saying.) So be careful taking all of this in. This is your relationship, not theirs, and you and your girl clearly are navigating this together and both doing your best to accommodate each other. I don't believe, now, that she is abusing you. But do be careful. You have certainly given her a lot of power. Maybe because you are prone to addictive behaviour. Maybe your sexual fetishes are interfering with your ability to think rationally. It's not clear that she is cheating on you. At all. And, you would support her having a fling on vacation, so it's not really fair of you to portray this as you initially did. You may very well jeopardize this relationship, with a girl you love so much, just because of your insecurity or fear of what could happen. There are no guarantees in life. Some people will disappoint you. You can try and communicate openly, put your faith and trust in people and give them the benefit of the doubt, but you cannot prevent all bad things from happening. And you might even self-sabotage, in the process. Again, this story is too complex for internet summaries or analyses. Only you can decide what to do next, if anything. But maybe everything is just fine, and it's your inner voice feeling anxious. There is no harm in discussing your fears with her. But figure out exactly what questions to ask. You may be choosing the right timing, or the wrong wording. Instead of asking the same questions, ask them differently. And watch if her answers change, or are consistent. Consistency = truth, more likely.

[SimpleGuy97]

@amandayvr thank you sooo much for support and wise words! To update you and everything's else that did help me with their answers, I had to talk with her and we made an excellent progress. I asked her to have a free evening just got us without any interruption. We had very honest conversation, that evening and next two evenings. We confessed a lot of things to each other. Yes, she did have sex with other guys but only once with each one, and she took care to stay anonymous with each one because of our relationship. She told me every detail. Point was that she was missing good sex as I am premature ejaculator. She loves me and I know she loves and I really plan to propose her. She was talking with her friend all the time, she showed me all the messages. She was worried how to confess that she was with other guys. Her period was late also do that was a bonus. So it all makes sense now. I always fantasized about cuckolding, but not I am 100% percent sure that this is my thing! I don't know what to say, I am so happy that this ended so well. Thanks again!

[AmandaYVR]

Well... interesting! I'm glad you wrote the update. Life is complicated sometimes, isn't it? I don't think I gave you great advice, actually; it was a bit all over the place, not very focused, or accurate. But I'm glad you had a forum to vent, and question, and maybe in an indirect way it did help a little. I am not always right in what I say, or how I assess things. And for that I feel bad. But one thing you will likely get from me is some patience to hear out the details, and not a default approach to think the worst, and throw everyone to the curb. I see that too much nowadays, especially on the internet. Some things, some people, are worth fighting for, right? So I'm happy you two are in a much better place now. Congratulations. You must get some credit, too, for how you took and absorbed the information that she told you. Many people conclude they can never tell because it would hurt the person too much. But there are some exceptions out there, who take all mitigating circumstances into consideration, and can move beyond the baser emotions. So good for you, SimpleGuy.

[SimpleGuy97]

Yes, exactly. I felt so bad of all negative comments out there. I know I wrote pretty bad explanation. But it's never that simple, black and white. I really enjoy our kind of relationship and I understand it is hard to be understood. It's not all about being an alpha male in the end :) At least for us. Thanks for being so kind and understand with me! I wish you all the best!

[bobalife]

The first thing I wonder from reading this is: do you trust her?


Trust and open communication is so important. I think it’s good to give her a honest talk that you know she cares about you and you care about her, but the picture makes you feel insecure and unsure • How you want reassurance and clarity • how to build more trust and good communication in the relationship. I’m sorry you’re going through this as it is a little strange and heavy. But it’s also a little unhealthy and you’re only hurting yourself by carrying these emotions for a while. It’s good to have openness with one another and making sure both are happy/secure. Hope this helps~

[Anonymous]

Get outta that fucked up relationship!
Chastity?
Obviously this whole thing is some kind of Master/Slave or potential Cuckolding situation that you're probably into.
Does she cheat on you? Yes!
Are you too jealous? No, you're in an abusive relationship that you seem to want.
Do I think you need to chill? No, you need to run away and figure out why you love to be humiliated, controlled and degraded.
How would I react? I wouldn't be you to begin with. That chastity and letting her control you shit is not something I would put up with.

[jahaims]

If she has nudes that you have seen she is cheating

[SimpleGuy97]

no nudes, only topless from the back, no tits visible

[JuliaStyles]

Are you insane of do you work at it? Who in their right mind would put up with this? You have to wear one but she doesn't? I guess we know who wears the pants in your one way relationship. Grow some balls and drop this girl like a hot potato. I'm betting she had sex on vacation if she walked around topless.

Simple's chastity belt

[iseekpinetrees]

Nude pics of herself doesn't mean cheating. But your chastity thing is not really a good thing in a relationship. Do u want sex more than u get it? If yes then why date someone who withholds it when u could have someone who wants to jump ur bones everytime they see u.

Also if u don't trust her why are you with her?

[Dazed0N0Confused]

While I cannot say for sure one way or the other if your lady is cheating, I don't understand why people allow their partners to control their sexual urges... The ultimatum your lady gave you was/is very unfair unless she too is willing to put the belt on. But that's my opinion on the matter. I wish you the best

[TOTEMPLASTER]

Duh... If your description of events is accurate then "YES!", she's f*cking her brains out wherever she goes. Cut your losses and dump her now. Be happy she hasn't given you an STD.

[JosyJosy]

Unless she's got open bi or lesbian friends, posing, it still doesn't look good, no matter who took it, guy or girl, I wouldn't be happy with it

[SimpleGuy97]

I mean i don't know It's photo in a pool Turned back, no breasts visible If you want i can send in pm

[JosyJosy]

maybe it's her thing. Like I have a friend who's a bit of an exhibitionist, so if she was my SO for example I wouldn't be surprised

[SimpleGuy97]

Yes she is, she likes to express herself in that way, i would say a bit slutty :)

[JosyJosy]

Well then maybe it's just nothing

[JuliaStyles]

Slutty girls can be cheating girls. Who is she showing herself to when you aren't around?

[jgirl99]

Okay firstly. If she's forcing u to wear the chastity, thats a form of abuse. She shouldn't be forcing u to wear that, addiction or not, that should be a personal choice. 2 she's coming off as abusive, and yes it sounds like she's getting on with other men. I am sorry, but i think its probably time for u to move on

[Iron_Man]

I don’t know but it doesn’t look good

[collie22]

if you think she is cheating then its a fair chance she is. look and see who she's messaging

[Uptowngirl88]

Why are you asking us?

[TaeTaeTeaBTSSS]

I don't know if she's cheating. Maybe yes maybe no. Sorry couldnt help you that much

[Anonymous]

Live your fantasy all you want but don't inflict it on us !!!

[Anonymous]

Yes, she is probably cheating. Dont say anything to her but investigate and follow her if you can. Spy on her and then you'll find out the truth.

[Anonymous]

The situation doesn't look good, you should talk to her.