Sexual Relationships
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How do I get over the biases or prejudices I have against a certain group of people?

Tried asking this on Reddit a year ago, but considering how that site is, you can imagine how it went.

I have a deep disgust for "bisexuals"/pansexuals. They really gross me out and I find them deeply offensive. I don't necessarily want to, but everything about them annoys and disgusts me. I associate them as being identical to homosexuals, but completely unethical and dishonest. I don't have a problem with true homosexuals, at all. But "bi" people come off like amoral scum and the most unethical people in the dating world. The logical part of me knows this likely isn't true (with all of them). But the emotional part of me is still grossed out by them, which makes it hard for me to be rational.

I guess, it's like, with a 100% gay person, I know they'll stay on their side, and we can co-exist peacefully. But with "bi" people, it's like they're gay in disguise, which is basically what they are, in my opinion.

I'd be afraid to ever date a girl (again) and find out, at the end of the day, she's really attracted to women and sees me as feminine or dainty. That infuriates me, so much. The same shock that would come from finding out you're dating a transwoman with a penis.

You can never know who's "bi" or not, unless they state it. It's like the movie "They Live." Either way, a woman who is turned on by women (or any man, in general) is the last thing I'd EVER want to date. Hell, I'd probably take a forthcoming, post-op transwoman over a biological woman who's heart is set on women. I feel I could never trust a "bi" female, and that they genuinely have next-to-no (maybe 1-2%, at the most) actual desire for men/masculinity. The inverse applies even more so to "bi men."

In other words, dating a "bi" female would be like me labeling myself as femme/twink/queer/effeminate. It makes me uncomfortable and grosses me out to think about it.

So, how does one get over a bias like this? I don't want to think like this, but my feelings are my feelings and they're pretty valid.
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Most Helpful Girls

  • It's ok to think what you think, so long as you keep it to yourself. You are allowed to have preferences and noone is holding you back, as long as you're respectful

    • Thank you.

    • No problem

  • Just learn about them. Do research before judging.

    • I have.

    • Thank you 😊

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • You find some bi and trans people and get to know them. Listen to them and HEAR them. Get to know them as people and not as sexual identities.

  • I’m confused...
    you don’t like bi people because of their sexual interaction with both genders. But you want to take a chance with a transgender who (chances are) have experimented with both genders along with changing their gender.

    • I'm saying, in simple words, I don't like bi people because I think they're disingenuous and fake; mostly to straight people, but sometimes even to true homosexuals (the "bi-curious" ones who don't really care about the same gender, at all). I'm not saying I'd like transwomen. I'm saying, they're probably less likely to flat-out lie to your face about their intentions because they actually get stigmatized in society, thus, have more to lose by being selfish and deceptive.

    • I have a lot more respect for people who just admit they're gay, instead of trying to be trendy with the hottest identity politics label of the decade because "gay" became too mainstream and vanilla. I think it's pretty messed up to pretend to be into men, when a woman clearly loves women. Or vice versa, to string along lesbians when the woman is clearly straight and just wants to get that soc-just cred and attention from pathetic male simps. It's just as bad as transwomen who lie about their gender and the fact they have a huge throbbing cock in their pants. It's equally as messed up, but at least with transwomen, most of them can't pass and are easily identifiable as male. Aside from being extremely selfish, narcissistic attention whores, you have no real way of telling who's "bisexual" and who's a genuine gay person.

  • I think you just have to learn to agree to disagree sometimes...

  • What do you mean, you hate everything about them?

  • Don't knock it 'til you try it! ;)

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