I found out my guy friend ls into voyeurism? I need any advice on my situation?

Question

We have known each other for 6 years and things got a bit steamy between us last month or so. He was always playful and flirty with me, hinting sexual interest and letting me know he's been watching me closely, but play it as a joke and I liked the attention.
Now he confessed he is more into watching than doing things. We talked about what turns him on, what he likes and more so what he likes about me and my body. We ended up sexting and I sent him pictures he asked for the way he asked for me to take them, so it was totally consensual and I liked how thrill he was seeing them, commenting little details I myself haven't noticed.
What confuses me is if he's willing just to play the watching game or actually having sex. I'm ok with both since I really like this guy. I'm confused because he says things like what he would do to me in a sexual way, not what he would like to watch someone else is doing while he's watching (which voyeurs got turned on by if I'm right).
I wouldn't like to push it to hard with questions for now, since confessing this was hard enough I believe. This is why I would like some thoughts about it from you guys.

Stazz76 · Accepted Answer

I love this story. You've known each other for 6 years and are great friends, and he still wants to be a voyeur. This really helps dispel the myth that voyeurs are simply perverts and are that way simply because they can't get laid.

There's a lot more to the psychology of a voyeur than most people realize. There may be deep seeded reasons why they avoid physical sex.

- Maybe they haven't given themselves permission to actually have sex for religious, ethical or social reasons.

- Maybe they have a fear of accidental negative outcomes like unplanned pregnancies or STI’s, or want to keep having an STI a secret.

- Maybe they have psychological reasons like emotional trauma after being sexually abused.

- Maybe there are intellectual reasons, like a pure curiosity about the anatomy of the opposite sex, and bodily functions like orgasming, peeing, etc.

- Maybe they have biological reasons like Post Orgasmic Illness Syndrome or even a level of physical discomfort from sex from any number of sexual function disorders like vaginismus or if circumcision damaged sensations in the penis. (Removing the foreskin leaves the glands exposed, and it can callous, but it also severs nerves to more than the foreskin itself. There is skin on the base of the penis below the circumcision scar which also has nerves that connect to the brain via the foreskin, and removal of the foreskin severs these nerves, and can result in phantom pains or a 'pins and needles' sensation in this skin, resulting in a desire to get the pleasure of orgasm whilst minimizing unpleasant touches – i. e. needing to ejaculate as quickly as possible. This of course leads to a fear of embarrassment of falling short of a partner's expectations.)

This is not an exhaustive list.

Please don’t downplay his need for voyeurism as “just” to play the watching game. I suspect that there’s a genuine reason why he said he’s “more into watching than doing things” and this is deeply personal to him. I highly doubt that he’s interested in involving any third parties. He’s doing his best to please you and turn you on by getting you to imagine how he would pleasure you, and his words “what he would do to you in a sexual way” isn’t conditional on if you got together - it is conditional on if he didn’t have a deeply personal reason to prefer voyeurism in the first place.

It’s nigh-impossible for voyeurs to find meaningful relationships. I have to admit I’m extremely jealous of your friend. He is very lucky to have found such a great friend in yourself who is happy to support his need for voyeurism and not dismiss it as perverse.

AustinMan · Accepted Answer

How about you send him a very trashy, sexy pic holding a sign that says, "Fuck me, Daddy. now!!"

AshleyTaylorDanny · Answer

Play along for now until you can't take it anymore then tell him to come over and give you the satisfaction that you crave!!

Amoose715 · Answer

If you're both having fun with the current dynamic just enjoy it. Like you said there's no need to push it further yet.

Gedaria · Answer

I think a lot of people do this. See something and just got to keep looking.  But it's when people set up cameras to observe people , that is getting close to being pervy..

I found out my guy friend ls into voyeurism? I need any advice on my situation?

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