Sexual Relationships
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What do you think of these sex paradoxes?

1) The more masculine a man acts in bed (selfish, aggressive, focused only on his own pleasure) the less sexual pleasure a woman gets, but the more feminine he acts (generous, submissive, focused instead on her pleasure) the less turned on she is. So she is left either turned off and sexually satisfied, or turned on and unsatisfied.

2) The more someone wants you sexually, the less desirable you find them, since that makes you feel like there must be something wrong with them for wanting someone like you, but the less someone wants you sexually, the less likely you are to get sex from them since they find you undesirable.

3) The more turned on a woman is during sex, the wetter she gets, which makes the sex less pleasurable for the man. Therefore, the more a woman enjoys sex, the less a man enjoys sex.

4) Men and women’s libidos are usually quite different, with most men wanting sex twice as much as women do. If it takes a woman a few days to become really horny for sex again, and if she has sex every time her partner wants it, she will never ever actually crave sex. So in relationships with people of “normal” sexual appetites, one partner MUST be left unsatisfied - either the man who doesn’t get enough sex, or the woman who never gets the chance to feel horny.
What do you think of these sex paradoxes?
0 2

Superb Opinion

  • 1) "The more masculine a man acts in bed (selfish, aggressive, focused only on his own pleasure) the less sexual pleasure a woman gets, but the more feminine he acts (generous, submissive, focused instead on her pleasure) the less turned on she is. So she is left either turned off and sexually satisfied, or turned on and unsatisfied."

    There is, however, a middle ground. A man can be masculine and NOT selfish, aggressive or solely focused on his own pleasure. He can be generous, yet NOT submissive. Therefore he turns her on and satisfies her, just as he is turned on by her satisfaction AND his pleasure.

    2)
    If you are both attracted to each other, you will be turned on sexually by each other if you are healthy, normal people. The only person who would think there is something wrong with them because someone is attracted to them is someone who has poor self-esteem or other mental health problems. These are people to avoid.

    3)
    If a woman doesn't lubricate before sexual intercourse, said intercourse is painful and impossible. During sex, some of a woman's lubrication wears off and more friction occurs which is pleasurable to BOTH people.
    Women are not slimy eels. There is enough lubrication for the entry of a penis and to make intercourse comfortable. This doesn't mean it's frictionless.

    4)
    Though men and women's libidos are qualitatively different, a couple can compensate for these differences.
    There are as many women with stronger libidoes than the men they are with.
    The GENERAL disparity is not that women don't WANT sex as much. Women take longer to WARM UP than men.
    Women don't want to jump a man's bones because he has a fine tush they're eyeing while in the checkout line at the supermarket. THAT is the REAL difference.

    The point is to find someone as interested in sex as the other is. You won't discover this until you've been with each other more than a year or so. It's better to wait to decide if someone will do for a satisfying sex life, as well as a good interpersonal relationship.

    Hot sex ONLY means you'll feel connected occasionally. Great interpersonal relationship ONLY means you'll live like good friends. Both are lacking. You need the two to make a solid, longterm partnership. Don't settle for one or the other, or you'll settle for dissatisfaction.

    • This!!! This answer here 💯

Most Helpful Girl

  • I don’t necessarily agree. You need a mix of both. Like I want him to start off slow and gentle, but once we get into it, grab me and take me.


    As far as the man not enjoying wet. Not true. My man loves it when I drip all over him.


    It’s all about balance really.

    • Very much so, squirting is also the next level

    • If he gets too rough too soon do you just go with it or say something?

    • @brianmarks I say something. But nicely. Like “I want you to flip me over and fuck me gently.”

Most Helpful Guys

  • 1) Not really true at all, otherwise women would never be sexually satisfied. Women are more turned on by masculine, dominant men, especially sexually. Anybody who disagrees should explain to me how 50 Shades Of Grey, a book bought and read mainly by women, is the fastest selling book of all time.

    For women sex is more mental than physical. If she's really attracted to the guy overall (includes the dynamic outside the bedroom) then she'll be more turned on when he dominates her in the bedroom and she'll be more satisfied, in fact often she'll naturally want him to ravage her. When that doesn't happen the polarity of the relationship is "off" somewhere.

    2) This also isn't really true. This is more of a "which came first: the chicken or the egg" thing. Leagues exist. The more attractive somebody is the more options they have, and therefore the harder to get they'll be and the less needy they'll be. The less attractive somebody is the less options they have, the easier to get they'll be and the more needy they'll be.

    You really want the hard to get person over the easy to get person because of the difference in how attractive each of them are overall.

    3) Completely false. A woman being wet doesn't make sex less enjoyable for the man at all.

    4) Again here this has to do with attractiveness/leagues. When the woman wants less sex than the man there's simply a mis-match in attraction. If she were with a guy who she found more attractive than the guy she was with she'd want it as much as he did, sometimes more.

  • 1. I'm very aggressive and my objective is to please her beyond her ability to think. Once she can't breathe, when she's cum so much she just needs to rest... that's when I take my pleasure.
    False for us.

    2. Suggests low self-esteem by both parties.
    A healthy self-esteem will appreciate the effort given by the other.
    False for us.

    3. For amateurs maybe. If she gets do wet that the guy feels no friction then stay in the missionary position but guys, put your legs to the outside of her legs. Girls, put your legs together. Nice and snug.
    False for us.

    4. Also amateurs. And I guess we're abnormal. For us, generally I'm the initiator and my focus is just on pleasing her. She does no work. I do things to get her hot and she'll cum quite a bit. Then it's my turn. I still do most of the work but I'm going to enjoy it.

    When she initiates when she's horny her pleasure still comes first. Mostly she does this by slowly and gently lowering herself down over my face when I am sleeping. I wake up, devour her. If I want to stay awake and get some I will. If I'm too tired I'll just go until she finishes in my mouth and we'll snuggle up and sleep.
    This is also false for us.

    Sounds like this couple needs some counseling.

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 14

  • "The more masculine a man acts in bed (selfish, aggressive, focused only on his own pleasure) the less sexual pleasure a woman gets"

    This is a falsehood. A man can be masculine and aggressive and still give the woman tremendous pleasure. What you're talking about is someone who is SELFISH, and that's not a trait that's tied to masculinity or aggressiveness in any particular way.

    • Sure it is. Masculinity is about being a leader and taking what you want, sitting on your throne and having people massage your feet. There’s nothing not selfish about it. 😊

    • Being a leader isn't the same thing as being a dictator. I'm very much a dominant and a natural leader, but when I make decisions, I am almost always considering my girl and what she likes and wants. That doesn't mean that I'm always going to decide "her way", but I've at least though about what she would prefer before I decide. And she knows that she's going to get things her way sometimes, and other times she won't. A real leader cares about the people he's leading, and takes care of them. He may have to make difficult choices at times - even dangerous ones - but the goal is always to look out for them too.

  • 1. The paradox is: why do you define masculine as aggressive and selfish?

    2. Someone wanting me sexually is NOT a turnoff!

    3. I have never had a partner who naturally lubricated so much that sex was not enjoyable.

    4. Good relationships are built on compromises.

    My current girlfriend wants sex every time we get in bed

    • 1. The dictionary tells me that’s the definition. 2. You’re an exception to the rule. 3. You’re an exception to the rule. 4. Doesn’t negate the paradox.

    • Based on your assumptions, everyone in the world is unhappy and unsatisfied in their sexual relationships. My experience tells me that is not true. Therefore, one or more of your assumptions must be invalid.

  • Sort of agree with some however as someone in to BDSM and a Dom.

    you can be masculine and the rest but also satisfy, a lot of this happens off the bed and in your partners brain.

    by the time you get to bed (assuming you use the bed), their synapses should be bouncing pleasure (and pain) signals around the body,

    the more turned on a woman is the more you get turned on by her pleasure, the actually physical may be a little less but your emotional state increases.

    with libidos it’s about teasing them, getting them in to sync, if this takes a couple day of teasing and setting the scene so be it,

    so for some yes it’s probably like this, but for others, not at all

  • I think that they're dumb

  • I think there's some truth in all of these.

    1) not all couples are like this but I think those that are the best solution is to generally have him act like he's dominating her but subtlety make sure she gets off as well. That means he will spend some effort in pleasuring her but it should be -framed- as being about him ravishing her.

    2) agree with those who say people who feel this way need to work through it mentally.

    3) there are ways to waste some lubrication. There are also other sex acts he could finish with.

    4) well this problem causes lots of divorces showing it's often not fixed. I think some couples find a level that works for both. I think some couples if they have the drives you described might be happiest if half the time he had her perform a hj/bj instead of sex. The question is whether that makes her feel bitter and want him less or if it tends to and her think "dammit I want sex next time." It can work for some couples. I've heard of at least one couple who - probably using your point 1 description - don't always try to make the lower drive partner cum. The question again is whether that increases or decreases the low drive partners desire for sex the next time. Depends on the individuals.

  • So turns out submissive man is a win here. Woman gets as much sex as she wants and satisfied 100%.

    Ofc it's not that simple. In general all those are bs anyway

  • there are some that one or more of these are true for but by and large they are myths.

    the wetter she is the better

    finding a balance between dominance and not being selfish is very helpful

  • They don't make sense at all nor are they true.

  • All bullshit

  • The reason why most women have lower libidos is due to all the sex they had in the past, women with higher body counts wipl grow tired of sex eventually, specially if their new husband/boyfriend doesn't measure up

  • You must be a guy

    • I’m a hermaphrodite. Why though?

    • Guys like lists

    • intersting OP

  • Couldn't agree more

  • Is it realy like that? I always thought Girls are into dominant manly guys. How can someone be into that If you He pleasure is less?

    • OK a few things aren't right. The wetter she is the better for me and I realy like her sexually interest in me the more I like that but I am submissive

    • And my girlfriend wants a lot more Sex than me

    • Yes, this is true for EVERY man and EVERY woman without exception.

  • Did you get these inside fortune cookies?

    • Nah, your mum confided in me.

    • She's dead. Did you summon her with a Ouija board?

    • She’s probably not. You’re just trying to make me feel bad.

    • Show All

  • Lol, the bullshit is strong in this one.

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