Why am I such a monster?

[Anonymous]

I notice when I'm watching a true crime case about kids getting kidnapped or taken, I start to get a tingly sensation in my private parts, this happens a lot. but I'm not attracted to kids, it's like when kids are sexually assaulted I get this way when people explain on what happened. I have a male dominance kink, I don't know if that's what it is? I'm not attracted to kids, never in a million years. I think kids are adorable and would never look at them like this. I don't know if it's intrusive thoughts or what. but its bothering me.

am I a pedophile? I'm 23 and like I know pedophilia is wrong, I'm not attracted to kids. but it seems like whenever I watch true crime cases this happens. I don't know if my hormones are off kilter but I always have to turn off the documentary when it happens. why am I a monster? why does this happen to me? I just wanna be normal! :( but this tingling happens all the time even when I'm not watching these documentaries

can intrusive thoughts do this?

[Lynx122]

Some girls are turned on by serial killers too I don't know exactly why that is but yeah. There's even a saying I've heard "the more heinous the more anus XDD" You can tell me why you think women are into this. Is it the power of the perpetrator, the brutality, the fact that he doesn't care about consequences or what other people think? What is it?

It's always good to understand yourself and why you react to things a certain way so it would be good to look into that but calling yourself a monster is not the answer.
There's a lot of people with weird kinks, cultivating negative feelings towards yourself makes it a lot harder to understand yourself and make progress. To understand the more hidden parts of yourself you need to accept yourself.

Nobody likes to be open when they're not accepted, and hating yourself is the opposite of acceptance. So your subconscious will hide away from you because it doesn't want to be judged.

If you love yourself it will be a lot easier, that's my experience.

[Meldrum]

Can I make an observation and perhaps a suggestion?
First the observation: I've talked with young adults that have had similar thoughts and felt guilty about them. When I asked them to delve a little deeper, they tell me of their experiences as a child and how those experiences made them feel good. It may have been something as simple as bath time with daddy or some other activity that, unknowingly, was sexually arousing.
Now the suggestion: You are feeling guilty for having these feelings. Don't. They are natural, particularly if you have had a pleasant experience as a child that made you feel good down there.

[Gwenhwyfar]

I know nothing about this but I think @seppel is right

[Birdlegs]

As long as the thoughts are in your head then whatever brains are weird just don’t kidnap kids and you’ll be fine

[Kaneki05]

Yeah that's bit weird, intrusive thoughts for sure.
Maybe need therapy for it. But at least it isn't anything on the hurting some level, but crazy thoughts get crazier as time goes for some people and ya don't want that.

[s2firestar]

You really need to visit a psychiatrist with this, because YOU NEED HELP.

[Valnac]

At your age, what you are experiencing is hormones, being horny all the time.
It’s normal, every girl goes through this, it doesn’t last forever.
What I suggest is lots and lots of masturbating, it’s safer than fucking some stranger.

[Seppel]

Oh that seems to be a serious Problem. Better search for a Therapie maybe

[harry7825]

Think about kids is also pedophile ok
You have to get well soon in this are else it will be a problem