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Why am I such a monster?

I notice when I'm watching a true crime case about kids getting kidnapped or taken, I start to get a tingly sensation in my private parts, this happens a lot. but I'm not attracted to kids, it's like when kids are sexually assaulted I get this way when people explain on what happened. I have a male dominance kink, I don't know if that's what it is? I'm not attracted to kids, never in a million years. I think kids are adorable and would never look at them like this. I don't know if it's intrusive thoughts or what. but its bothering me.

am I a pedophile? I'm 23 and like I know pedophilia is wrong, I'm not attracted to kids. but it seems like whenever I watch true crime cases this happens. I don't know if my hormones are off kilter but I always have to turn off the documentary when it happens. why am I a monster? why does this happen to me? I just wanna be normal! :( but this tingling happens all the time even when I'm not watching these documentaries

can intrusive thoughts do this?
Why am I such a monster?
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