Why do people make sex the biggest part of the relationship?

[Justneedtokno]

[COMMODOREII]

Well. Because sex is a big part of relationships when you want to connect to that person. The whole point of a relationship for most people is to eventually get married and have kids. You want to know if they have the same drive and want as you before you get stuck with someone who may cause you to give up on what you really want in life. So if a girl/guy doesn't want what you want sexually then it is not a good thing and it's better to look for someone who will want it.

[Jamie05rhs]

Because young people these days are cowards. Sex is the easiest thing to do, so they just go with that. It's much easier than actually talking to someone and developing a relationship.

[Jamie05rhs]

Re: update: Well, if she wants to be with me then that's great! I will be thrilled! But I will still want to have sex with her eventually. (Meaning after we get married.) I think I'm a good person, and I'm not a total pig, but I do have a desire to have sex. Sorry; I'm just being honest.

[Jamie05rhs]

Thank you for the MHO. :)

[AustinMan]

Not necessarily the biggest. However, sex is the engine that drives intimate relationships.

[OlderAndWiser]

If a girl doesn't want to have sex but wants a relationship with me, she can be my friend. If she wants to be the lifetime partner who shares my home and my bed, then she needs to also be my sexual partner. This does NOT mean that sex is the biggest part of a romantic relationship for me. It just means that it is an essential part of a romantic relationship.

[Justneedtokno]

What is it called when you do all those thing and not have sex?

[OlderAndWiser]

It's called a sexless marriage. Sometimes, a spouse may get an illness or injury that prevents them prom participating in PIV sex, but if I was married and got paralyzed from the waist down, I would still offer to give my wife fingering, oral sex, making her cum with a toy, etc. To me, it seems incredibly selfish to expect someone to marry you when you have no intention of having sex with them (unless you discuss it in advance and both agree on that.)

[TheorionMage]

DEVOID of the access to PHYSICAL intimacy... ALL you have IS a 'platonic' friendship.
In general, there is NO LIMIT to the numbers of 'platonic' friends One might have... and even share!

'Special' oe 'exclusive' platonic friends is a non sequitur ~ :O

[ChrisMaster69]

Because humans are naturally stupid people,

they also believe too much from others about how important actual sex is.

[hahahmm]

From a male POV: Because in the modern age women (generally speaking) only offer a man sex. They're too good to do any traditional stuff for him (being loyal, respectful, cooking) but expect him to do traditional things for her (like be respectful, a little thing like take a bullet for her, buy her presents and so on). The less a woman gives the more important it is for her to give the one thing she's offering.

I imagine women themselves think sex is important for the same reason a drug addict shown a mountain of coke thinks that coke is important. Women can get unlimited sexual attention from an endless line of guys these days.

[Justneedtokno]

Men don’t build houses anymore

[hahahmm]

Some do. But it's true that most men aren't traditional anymore.

[Justneedtokno]

And there are traditional women out there. That cooks and cleans and doesn’t hold any type of education or anything. For myself I like to do both.

[hahahmm]

From my POV a woman can be traditional and have an education but it's not something that makes her more (or less) attractive. Women think it should be because they're impressed by that in men. And of course if she puts 99% of her energy into an education and 0 into a personality that men find attractive there's going to be a problem eventually.

[Justneedtokno]

I think you also have to take into account but if you’re not going to respect the guy or be loyal to him then there’s no point of you being with him. Buying presents is actually mutual. Cooking it can be a mutual thing father cooked for us. Both were at work. A relationship is what you make it. The question came from social media. I wonder can you have a sexless relationship and still be intimate and everything.

[hahahmm]

Okay but there's tons of women today who can't cook instant noodles. It's totally ridiculous. And yes, I say that as someone who can cook 5 star quality food in my sleep. " I wonder can you have a sexless relationship and still be intimate and everything." Yes. But for men who are already sexually active it's way less likely they will view their woman withholding sex as okay. I mean, if they never had sex before and she had a personality 100x better than any woman he ever knew and he knew she was loyal then he could hold out way longer than otherwise. But most women aren't in that category.

[hahahmm]

What's complicated is that people can want sex for very different reasons. To cement a relationship (and fun) OR just for fun with zero serious intentions or interest in the other person. Sex is both worthless & valuable depending on the details.

[Justneedtokno]

I think sometimes they could be murky and cloud your judgment about the person when sex gets involved sometimes.

[hahahmm]

Yes but for many it's less murky the older you get.

[Hanoi_Jane00]

Because its a lot fun. Sex is important i think when your young, you are only young once. Time to not have sex when your old.

[slatyb]

For most people, men and women, sex is the biggest part of a relationship. All the rest is necessary for a happy relationship, but without sex it's just another friendship.

[sensible27]

Depends on who you're with no. As for the update yea I'd be okay I'm sort of asexual, your name, just need to know, oddly interesting.

[0112358]

It's probably one is the three biggest things for most people. It's just not that common for one partner to suggest "they could never speak to each other but love isn't about talking is it?" so sex comes up as an issue more often the other big things.

[Apope16]

If there is no sex? Then you have a friendship my dear. Not a romantic relationship.

Romantic relationships are a biological precursor to breeding for the continuance of a family unit of raising children.

Now to answer your question more directly. Sex is a HUGE deal in a relationship and very important. Sex releases bonding chemicals of attachment and pharamones. This biologically allows couples to form attachments for the rearing/raising of children. This is a necessary form of romantic attachment. Not only that but there is such a thing as "body memory" where attachment is formed by associating the pleasure of orgasm or sex with the positive memory of being with your partner. This is a powerful connecting glue when times get tough and you want to leave. The intimacy of sex in a relationship cannot be matched in life. It is the most vulnerable exposure of yourself.

[Gwenhwyfar]

It’s really important

[Ripper_E]

Their lives suck?
Sex is not the biggest part. There are so many things you need before that for a relationship to even work.
That's like saying leather seats are the biggest part of a car. Not the engine or the fuel the actually makes the car run.

[pigoat]

Yeah we can be friends if that's the case on your Update

You will find someone who will be fine with this

You aren't a weirdo because this is the route you are choosing to take in a partner justneedtokno

[Sweetener_]

Because they're desperate.

[ChrisMaster69]

Yeah I would go for this

[Millicano]

If youve got a sex drive, then you should use it.

[es20490446e]

Cause love takes more time, and it can't be controlled when it happens.

[douride2]

With out sex we would just be friends. So in the end why stay in a relationship if we are only friends. What would the point be?

[Nalix]

Does she want to be a collaborative writing partner? Coworker? Programmer? Gamer? What do you want to do? If not sex, what is the core of our relationship?

[Justneedtokno]

Companionship

[Jamie05rhs]

@justneedtokno I totally agree that companionship is the main point. But if you can have fun playing with each other's bodies, why pass up such a great opportunity?

[Justneedtokno]

@Jamie05rhs I don’t see his body like that.

[hhH2traveler]

Its one of the more immediate benefits of a relationship that you dont have to work years for.

[Feelicks]

Sex is like water. Not a big deal unless you're thirsty.