How do we fix our difference in sexual chemistry?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been dating this wonderful woman for the past 6 months, we have both met each other’s friends and family and everyone approves of us and we are really happy outside the bedroom.

However in the bedroom, we have the reverse issue that I suppose is common which guys orgasm fast while girls last long or have multiple orgasms. We are the reverse, I last too long and she has one orgasm and is too sensitive to continue.

I will be honest I was wrong to keep it a secret that I never came most of the time we had sex and I was extremely sexually frustrated. I told her the truth about two months ago which obviously hurt her and I was just afraid of hurting her.

The sex is amazing just it never last too long (15-20). We are adventurous in bed but I guess stamina is the true issue😅.

So what do you think we can do?

[LEETSBEREAL]

You first need to ascertain if its physical (medical - something could be going on for her down there could explain why she is so sensitive) or psychological. (Has she been like this in previous relationships? What is her through pattern? and is it interfering and or triggering her forcing her body to respond the way it does)

Also most women need 'warming up' You haven't mentioned fore play is this apart of what you do or are you just diving in?

Taking your time is so important and does a lot for a women's psychology. The news you have just given her is surely going to take a toll on her. So she might be more anxious now. Maybe take some of the weight off. Take sex off the table, do other things let it build up to that. If it happens it happens if it doesn't who cares. There is plenty of time if she is the one. Baby steps slow it right down. And then build from there.

[Asker]

She doesn’t have any medical condition she hasn’t disclosed with me whether it’s physical or psychological. She’s just naturally sensitive from what she told me. I never really ask about her past but she claims she never had any complaints so we both indicated it’s most likely me. I’m very big on foreplay, building up tension and intimate feelings, etc. so I definitely enjoy going down on her and she’s the same. We try to be more slow and sensual which is good but when things heat up she had an orgasm or two max while I’m trying to make the same thing happen.

[LEETSBEREAL]

She could be naturally sensitive. That does happen. If that's the case it could be that you two just don't have matching sex drives or she just can't go any further even if she wants to. Ok she says she hasn't had any complaints what does that mean? Is she saying one or two rounds was their limit? (previous partners) Coz if that's the case then yh. It might be you. After things heat up is there another round of foreplay or is she done? Could you go another round of foreplay?

[NYCQuestions1976]

The only thing I can think of suggesting in an atypical situation like this is skipping the foreplay, if she's cool with that. Or if she enjoys the occasional adult beverage and/or recreational marijuana, maybe she could have some of either or both just prior to intimacy, and maybe that might dull her sensitivity some, so she can last longer. Of course, if she's one of those people that has the opposite reaction to a beer or a toke prior to sex, then definitely scratch that particular suggestion.

[AustinMan]

I have a bunch of ideas. I'm guessing you're a pharmacist, given you handle?

Is she submissive sexually?

[Asker]

Define submissive? Such as bdsm and stuff?

[AustinMan]

More like who "drives" in bed, be it vanilla or kinky.

[Slim57]

That's how it was for me and my ex, finally found a position that took me 5 mins to finish maybe you can too

[Asker]

Which position was it? We tried most

[Slim57]

Doggy it just felt completely different from the rest but if you've tried most than you probably done that one too

[Asker]

Yeah I do like it but it didn’t work