What do you think my friend should do?

Question

She is living in a sex less relationship for 5 years. She's together with her boyfriend for 12 years and she likes him, they get along. She's currently at home as she is ill and can't work.

She is in her forties and still horny. She found two men in her neighbourhood in their early twenties who have sex with her when her boyfriend is working. She is calmer and nicer to her boyfriend as a result.

She says she enjoys their company and her boyfriend doesn't need to know about them. She doesn't feel guilty at all.

Jamie05rhs · Accepted Answer

She's a whore. She's a very bad person with no morals at all. I think you should stop being friends with her.

shushhhhh · Accepted Answer

Cheating ass bitch. Wtf is she doing, as her friend you should be calling her out on her bullshit ASAP

Goforit1010 · Answer

Let's reverse the situation and it's the boyfriend that's having sex on the side. What do you think of the guy doing that?

I've read countless Q's on this forum where the guy is doing that and the hurt from the girl is incredibly high when she finds out. It'll be no different if her boyfriend catches her.

If you even think I have any sympathy for your friend and what she's doing, think again. I don't. I hope if her boyfriend ever discovers her behavior, he drops her so fast she doesn't know what hit her. Just because she's horny and has sexual desires, doesn't give her an excuse to cheat on her boyfriend. It's behavior like this where guys call a girl a slut.

Screenwriter · Answer

I don't understand why she has a sexless relationship with this longtime boyfriend. Why waste her time with him. Sounds like he would be a good friend, but not a good significant relationship.

AustinMan · Answer

She can just keep doing what she's doing. Another option is to stop. Another option, my favorite, is to stop fooling around temporarily and get them into couple's therapy. By stopping, she can honestly say she's not having an affair when asked. A good therapist can likely get them back in touch sexually.

yolo18 · Answer

Wow. Ermmh, is her boyfriend asexual? Because if he is and she knew she was dating an asexual man, then it's wrong for her to cheat on him. (Although cheating is wrong in general) I mean, he MUST be asexual. There is no way a straight guy can go 12 years, 12! without some action. She should leave him and tell him about her hook-ups. Is not fair on him at all.

Little_Bumblebee · Answer

She's horrible for doing that. She should tell the boyfriend the truth. Really, really horrible.

loves2learn · Answer

Her boyf is not validating or meeting her needs. That is the heart of the problem.

Couples counseling.

And there I would have her broach the subject with him. If he’s ok with it and would rather have other guys fuck her than himself, then yes. Fine. But they need honesty.

wingattebaby16 · Answer

friends with benefits to me are necessary for some women with a high sex drive.

so, has your friend tried to have sex with her boyfriend for the last 5 years, and he is not interested or what is going on?

Does he have ED and can't get a boner?

or does he also have a woman or women on the side he is having sex with?

if her boyfriend can't have sex, then as long as she is discrete and does not have sex in their home where he might find out, she has needs. This is better than her leaving her boyfriend over his lack of sex when they have the Other aspects of a relationship.

I had a friends with benefits when i was with the man i loved. He was not able to meet my Needs, and after yet another disappointing sex session, he said if i do get a friends with benefits, he does not want to know about it.

that meant: no smell on me, no semen in or on me, and never ever do it at our house. Don't come home with an STD or pregnant.

I actually had 2 friends with benefits for almost 2 years with my boyfriend and i just kept my mouth shut. Our relationship got better with me getting the sex i needed. and he was happy with me not constantly wanting sex with him.

so, be careful, be safe, get your Needs met and exceeded, and still love your boyfriend.

Flower7 · Answer

She should definitely break up with her boyfriend. It seems like she doesn't feel the same way about him as he does about her.

Alyssa11 · Answer

Sounds like a cheater to me.

AndyOh · Answer

If that is what is working for her for now, I say do nothing for now. However, I would start planning an exit out of the relationship. This is not good in many ways, and I don't see it ending well.

karenchick111 · Answer

She should break up with the boyfriend and move in with the two guys.

Jjpayne · Answer

Relationships are about openness and honesty... It's tough.. I suppose she could keep going but personally, I'd recommend her get a relationship therapist or therapist in general to go over this with. Maybe even a therapist online or something like that. This is something really good to unpack with them and help them to address their feelings and give them guidance on where to take their relationship.

Sincerly_KittyCat · Answer

She clearly likes being in that relationship, to be in that kind if relationship for what reason. They both have issues because they aren't making sense. The both of them are wrong and she is even more wrong for cheating. Why cheat when you can leave. Good friends speak bluntly. Let her know.

VertigoJ · Answer

Jessie, what is it with you and these abstract taboo questions? For the answer part, if it's not hurting him, keep on doing it.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

I think living a sexless marriage for 12 years is hard on her, what is she suppose to do she can only masturbate so much that gets old, so having these younger men to take care of her needs is her choice, sure it's cheating and wrong, but why is this husband of hers not taking care of her needs at least give her oral pleasure

exitseven · Answer

Enjoy it while she can. Sooner or later she will get caught.

Makeushiver · Answer

I think she should find a guy in a similar situation and they fuck each other so she gets her physical pleasure from one guy and her emotional pleasure from another. It's not uncommon to hear about couples letting sexuality leak from their relationship

jmf909 · Answer

That is fair enough if boyfriend doesn't want to have sex then to use a substitute that doesn't want anything more then sex it works well for all involved be better if boyfriend was included in the fact it is happening.

shade_19 · Answer

She loves her boyfriend and has sex with other guys so that her relationship is smooth with her boyfriend.
Makes sense
The other thing I'd prefer her to do is tell her boyfriend that she is not sexually satisfied by the sex relation between her and her boyfriend (not bout having sex with the guys in neighbourhood)
And have a better sex life with each other than with strangers
Coz if he later finds it out in any way... she'll be just a cheater to him and the relation will break

What do you think my friend should do?

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