I’m scared my boyfriend doesn’t find my body attractive?

[Anonymous]

I’m very insecure about my body. I don’t really talk about it to my boyfriend, but when I have, he usually tell me it’s beautiful. That is the only time he will compliment my body. I’m also very insecure about the way my vagina looks. I have what is considered an “outtie”. I tell my boyfriend I don’t think I look attractive. I tell him I’m afraid he doesn’t like the way I look either. He never disagrees. He doesn’t directly tell me that he is attracted to my vagina, or isn’t. He doesn’t compliment my vagina in any way, other than telling me that it feels good. Almost like he avoids the question. Does that mean he doesn’t think it looks good? It’s eating away at me. I have less and less sex with him. He doesn’t know how safe and comforting it would feel to have him tell me that he is visually attracted to the way I look. I have to say that I think this is the biggest reason I find it so hard to have an orgasm. I’ve never had this problem in a relationship before and I just don’t know what to do.

[caring__1]

When guys feel compliments have become obligatory, they become less likely to give them. When girls minimize or deny the compliments or constantly put themselves down, it becomes hard for guys to motivate themselves to give more compliments. No one wants to give a compliment, only to have the other person say "that's not true." We can't accept the words of others if we don't believe it already. If you don't feel you are smart, and someone says you're smart, you'll probably assume the person is just being sarcastic and making fun of you.

As far as your body, if he wasn't drawn to you, he wouldn't be with you. It's about the value of the total package. Only superficial people focus only on specific body parts. Guys are more likely to show you how they feel than tell you how they feel. Teach him what you like, and openly show your enjoyment and appreciation. Guys are motivated by girls' responses. Also, it's not what you have but how you use what you have that makes the moment special. Make the moment fun and playful, not serious and a chore.

[Anonymous]

Ok first we are bad at this compliment thing because what is important to you is not to us and vice versa. Also most women will trap guys with the how do I look question. For example what is important to me is shared interests and how well she is willing to put forth effort in bed. I don't care about looks and I usually compliment based on personality and performance. Everyone is different and will value different things. If it is really bothering you maybe you need to sit with him and have a talk and tell him how you feel. Do not put it on him. Tell him I feel inadequate down there. Do not say I wish you would say this. The reason is you showing him your feelings instead of pointing a finger. Also be ready for stuff you may not like to hear. Real example my second girlfriend asked why I was never into her breast that much. I had to tell her I'm a small boob guy and hers was definitely on the big side and it made it a turnoff. It would not stop me from sleeping with her but it also caused problems because we didn't talk about it. Did it make me love my second any less? No. That was not what was important to me.

[ohshee]

This is going to sound really wacky but I don't know who you are send me a picture and I will tell you 100z% the truth ,, or u need to let it go ,, because look he's with you right ,, what does that say come on stop beating your self up you have to stop I can feel it in your words you have to let it go I've never been more serious in my life send a picture like I said I don't know who you are but you're about anything and we'll never know but at least let me give you an answer

[slatyb]

Your vagina is fine, very few men if any care about the appearance of a woman's genitalia. Have you asked him why he doesn't compliment you spontaneously? I compliment my wife multiple times a day. She looks great and I tell her.

[TadCurious]

Unfortunately lots and lots of girls have negative body image issues because of their perfectly normal vulvas. My girlfriend used to be self conscious about her labia because she has a so-called outie. But she isn't anymore because she learned that it's very, very common to have visible inner labia and there isn't anything wrong with it. (Porn doesn't accurately portray how most vulvas look like in the real world.) So my advice would be to accept and love your perfectly normal body. Outies are erotically beautiful.

[jmf909]

Tell him you need to gear compliments about your body and vj cutting off sex with him for your own inadequate feelings is the most stupid if reasons if he only wants to do it in the dark or under covers then maybe you have a reason to think he has a problem but he don't so accept that's your body the only body you got and work with what you got embrace and blossom with dignity

[SirJohn42]

Maybe he is uncomfortable by the question. Sometimes guys feel trapped.
When you constantly ask a guy the same question he gets confused.
doesn't know what you are searching for.

I can't speak for your guy

[Twalli]

My girlfriend likes me to say "I love you" more often than I do. The way I see it ou s that since I said it, nothing has changed and thus I still feel the same. Quite possibly he feels the same way. Generally guys don't care too much about how a girl"s vagina looks.

[Valnac]

He’s an idiot. Girls with big outer labia is my absolute favorite, I could play with that all day long.
Don’t ever be ashamed of that. That’s hot!

[anylolone]

How often you compliment his body?
How often does he ask you?

Those are probably way less.
And that's guessing that he's way less verbal than you.

[anylolone]

And also, let me add that it wouldn't feel great, it wouldn't make you comfortable. As someone who received several compliments in the area, it's never the thing you imagine it to be. Relax and stop forcing validation the way you think you deserve and start seeing validation the way you receive. It's like the whole "tell me you love me", it doesn't make you look good. Also, men aren't like women, most men don't care what kind of pussy you have, they might have their favorite types but that's it. So, good chances are, you are projecting that, you know how picky you are on subject and therefore you project that on him. Try to be less picky and suddenly everyone will seem to turn less picky.

[Batman745]

He probably just don't know what your trying to tell him