Is there a double-standard when it comes to virginity?

[Eva2015]

I am 20 and a virgin. I have been told that because I am a women me being a virgin is something that I should "never be ashamed of" and that it would always be "a good thing ", but I have also been told that if I were a guy it would be a "very bad thing" and I should be "ashamed".

Why is that?

by the way, the reason why I am virgin is because I haven't met someone with whom I feel comfortable enough to have sex with. I will be 21 in July and I do worry about it sometimes because I -in those moments- like a failure, but I do not want "to jump anyone" just to get it over with.

[RolandCuthbert]

It has always been a double standard. But I would say that there are a whole lot of women who perpetuate this double-standard. Truthfully, most men your age would treasure you.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/C7jIJ43rXx4

[Eva2015]

Why would they treasure me? Because I am not "easy"?

[RolandCuthbert]

That is what it signifies to them. Because you refused to just have sex with just anyone. When it comes to young men, it is that they couldn't convince any woman to have sex with them. That's how American society interprets things. It appears that in other societies things work differently.

[JuneLady]

Good for you! I saved my virginity until I found the right person, and I am eternally grateful I did (for several reasons).
My best guess is, like everything, evolution. Men spreading seed is desirable, as it requires minimal investment for maximum potential for progeny. Women are at high risk while pregnant and require a long-term partner to help her (not to mention, need to make sure the man's genes are worth it). I think these instinctive values have permeated into the culture

[Catmaster1]

There is definitely a double standard between genders about this topic.
At the end of the day don't do anything you don't feel ready to do. The only one that really cares about your viriginity its you and not the people around you. If they do care, is it because they are most likely still immature and not worth your time.

[Anonymous]

Well there's an obvious reason why the main star of the movie was a male in the movie The 40-Year-Old Virgin made by Hollywood.

probably because the average man never has women making sexual advances on him or making sexual propositions towards him, the burden of pursuit falls on the guys shoulders.

that's why there's a stigma against guys being a virgin past a certain age but not really for women

[ShyGuy201]

It is very much a double standard. Unfortunately I don’t know how or why that started.

[ItsTheNephilim]

Yeah, I think there's such a double standard (mostly depending where you live) and it's idiotic.
You're fine. No rush. Just keep going and you'll find someone worthy enough.

[worldscolide]

never understood that one my self. Virginity for either sex is not something to be ashamed of.

[AmeerX]

I am 28 virgin. I don't feel ashamed. I guess you live in the wrong culture

[JessieBellll]

No, lot of women get pressured into finding a guy too

[In_Trance]

Only to virgins. Once you're not, you don't gaf about this crap and realize that it really doesn't matter

[Eva2015]

Okay, but have I been told by non-virgins that if I were a guy I should be ashamed about my virginity?

[In_Trance]

I'm a guy and I didn't tell you that

[Eva2015]

I know but why do other men (mostly) say that?

[In_Trance]

I guess that depends on the guy. They must have reasons for thinking that. I think it's fkn dumb myself.

[Valnac]

The first time is the most memorable time. You will never forget.
Just be patient, it will happen.

[Bklynbadboy12]

I don't think there is a double standard being a virgin is a really really good thing and any guy you date is gonna appreciate that I know I would