Sexual Relationships
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My boyfriend wants to have sex without a condom but I am hesitant. What can we do?

My boyfriend wants to have sex without a condom. I am still hesitant even though I'm on birth control. Just the smallest chance of me getting pregnant terrifies me even if it is only 1%.
My boyfriend tells me why he doesn't like condoms and I do respect his feelings, but at the same time I know I won't be able to fully relax during sex.

Could extra thin condoms be the solution to our problem?
0 1

Superb Opinion

  • OK - let's do the math. The worst marks Birth Control Pills get is a 9% fail rate, and the worst condoms get is an 18% fail rate. Figure those together and you get a 2% fail rate, or 1 time in every 50, you get a kid.

    Again, these are the WORST stats for each- even the CDC ranks them twice as effective when used properly and consistently, so that would be your 1% failure rate.

    Now you have the numbers: the choice is yours. As Dirty Harry would ask, "How lucky do you feel?"

    Re extra-thin- you would be swapping "more feel" for "less reliability" in the broad sense. Whichever you use, store them in a cool, dark place before using. Use ONLY water-soluble lubes, since oil and/or silicone can degrade the condoms. Good luck.

Most Helpful Guy

  • I think the article does lowball the female pleasure with sex without condoms. Some women may feel more sensation than a guy does, some aren't too naturally wet during sex so they can feel a combination of the penis friction and pulsating, skin-to-skin heat, and even when the cum spurts out. Versus some that are so wet, they probably can't tell the guy came inside until he pulls out. So there is one way to tell, to experience it first-hand. It could be game changer, where the fraction of a chance of pregnancy at all is worth the pleasure.

    I look at it this way, at some point you'll eventually want to trust your birth control. Even if it's now. You may even change your method over time to help, perhaps you'll want an IUD so you know it's always "there" and working versus a pill that you can sometimes tell by your body changes, or sometimes not at all.

Most Helpful Girls

  • Tell him you will once you get an engagement ring from him. Because even the very small added risk of conception means you need a commitment before you get rid of condoms, IMHO.

  • If ya ain't comfortable then ur not comfortable.
    He has 2 respect that.

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What Girls & Guys Said

9 29

  • Don’t do anything you aren’t comfortable with. We used condoms + birth control for a year.


    After that just birth control for 9 years. I only got pregnant when I stopped taking it.

    • The article is mostly accurate. Except I would say there is a big difference in sensation for both. It’s more intimate. And as far as how long he lasts, it’s shorter when you first ditch the condoms, then it evens out.

  • First of all I'm going to assume when your talking about being on "birth control" you mean to say your on the pill.
    The pill, condoms, fremedom, the coil, the cap and withdrawal are all types of birth control!

    So basically to me it sounds like to be more comfortable you want to use multiple birth control methods for piece of mind.

    So yes you could switch to thinner condoms but if he's going to complain and refuse switching to a secondary birth control method might be better like the cap which would be under your control or getting him to withdraw when he cums.

    Remember as your on the pill even as poor birth control method as withdrawal is you will minute chances of getting pregnant.

    Of course if you have any worries over STD's then you need to stick to a barrier method if you can still get femedoms if you try that I'm sure he will be will be happy to go back to condoms lol

  • Yeah I mean you could use the skin feel condoms. They are expensive but I heard they feel a lot better.

  • Just go for it

    • but I do not want to...

  • I think you should stick with your position on this. You have every right to feel comfortable with the sexual arrangement, and if that means using condoms then you should stick with that.

    • thank you

  • If you are not comfortable with it, and if you don't want a baby, make it known that you don't want to, and if you did, you'll ask.

    If you decide to go raw (bad idea anyway) but just make sure you have plan b available.

  • Don't do it if you aren't 100% comfortable with it, and don't let him pressure you into it. If you think it's something you might want to try, what about combining your birth control with another non-barrier contraceptive like spermicide?

  • Use something else or dont have sex.
    It's that simple.
    You have a say in this too, ya know.

  • How about a diaphragm

  • It's your body so you make the rules. He may enjoy thinner condoms, but the risk of breakage is usually higher. If he's never going to be happy wearing a condom you may want to stick to oral/handjobs/fingering/vibrators.

    • That article makes a lot of sense.

  • It's your body.
    If you don't want to do it then Don't.
    He's not respecting your wishes is a huge red flag, especially when it comes to your body.

  • Ask him if he's ready to help raise a child for the next 18 years.

    • Good idea haha

    • Thanks, lol.

  • Yeah thin condoms might work. Yeah youb should be fully relax during sex and not be worried about the small chance of getting pregnant. Even though he hates condoms he does have the responsibility to be safe during sex too.

  • Go for it... you are on birth control.

    • You’re the kind of dickhead to tell girls to cheat, then condemn men for doing it.

    • What does this have to do with birth control? And... for your information... I do not support cheating. Idiot.

  • If you don't want to , don't do it.
    It's you that gets pregnant not him.

  • well, even slim one won't be as intimate as no condom...

    • yeah I know

    • it's nice without tbh

  • It's your body, your choice. No condom, no pussy, if he respects you.

  • Make him get a vasectomy

  • Well if your not comfortable with out then he must respect your wishes.
    If he says he will pull out dont believe him regardless what he says.

  • I mean you can still get pregnant even if you have a condom, because it could break but uh honestly its just best if he keeps using condoms and not the thin ones

  • Show More (18)

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