Sexual Relationships
+1 y

Why do guys micro-cheat (watch porn, ogling at other women, liking InstaThots) when they have a wife/girlfriend?

When a guy micro-cheats, I’m not talking about cheating because I noticed so many girls tolerating this bs. It results in the woman’s confidence going down, unhealthy or toxic relationship, and tension.

So, is there a justifiable reason that a guy might do this like if then wife/girlfriend is fat and lets herself go and he has told her many times? Or she’s actually a mean bitch?

Or is the guy just selfish and ungrateful?
Why do guys micro-cheat (watch porn, ogling at other women, liking InstaThots) when they have a wife/girlfriend?
Why do guys micro-cheat (watch porn, ogling at other women, liking InstaThots) when they have a wife/girlfriend?
Why do guys micro-cheat (watch porn, ogling at other women, liking InstaThots) when they have a wife/girlfriend?
Updates:
+1 y
The comments are disappointing. Porn is disgusting and results in lower relationship satisfaction.
1 2

Most Helpful Guys

  • I agree that porn is bad for society, as is promiscuity. But you have to understand that the optimal relationship structure is basically about what's good for society as a whole vs our primal instincts. As in those social structures which are beneficial to society are about curbing our natural instincts in a mutually beneficial way.

    Men and women are wired differently, and in some ways our natural mating strategies are conflicting.

    Nature doesn't care about morality, morality is something humans create in order for a culture to function properly. This isn't an argument against morality which is very important. Nature cares about driving us to reproduce and pass on our genetics as effectively as we possibly can just like any other living organism. This is the biological reason we have a sex drive.

    In nature the optimal male strategy is to impregnate a lot of women. The more children we have the more likely it is that some of them will survive and pass on our genes. Thus we're wired to want sexual variety. A man could theoretically if he had sexual access to enough women impregnate 100+ women.

    In nature the optimal female strategy, because they can only be impregnated by one man at a time and the process is long, is to mate with the man with the strongest genes and to secure long-term parental investment. The dark side of female sexuality here which I won't go into too much because this is about man is known as strategic pluralism. Maybe go check that out before assuming that only men are inherently bad because of the way we're wired differently to women. Women are more monogamous than men, but they're not completely monogamous.

    Strategic pluralism is basically about the idea that women evolved a strategy which often leads to them being impregnated by the man with good genes, but because he's no good long-term they look for a guy who will provide for her and his children. This is what a lot of single mothers do. They're not conscious of it, they don't do it purposely or plan it, it just happens.

    The real evil ones are those who cheat and then pass the kid off as the boyfriends when it's actually another man's kid. They don't plan to get pregnant but they have sex with the other guy, accidentally get pregnant, and do plan to keep it a secret. A disturbing statistical fact is that women are more likely to cheat during ovulation.

    The old ideas about women remaining chaste until marriage and punishing adultery was about ensuring paternity. As for men obviously it was about ensuring that men weren't fucking around leaving a bunch of single mothers to fend for themselves.

    Socially enforced monogamy was all about curbing those instincts and creating a compromise between the two sexes. Those instincts have always been there, and healthy marriages/families have been kept together because of these societal rules.

    Another disturbing fact for you: statistically the people who are the most likely to be addicted to porn are Christian ministers. The men who preach the most about faith in God, the importance of faithfulness, and the sanctity of marriage. The men you'd least suspect of it.

    • I think honesty is important in a relationship, and yes, those who hide it are worse than the ones who admit it.

  • I had to look up what InstaThot was, had no idea of that term before this.

    I fell in the MEGA-LOYAL on that chart, but anyhow... some men look at porn because men like to look at naked women. If a man is doing that, then it is possible he feels uncomfortable asking the woman if he can see her naked or she is not comfortable showing him.

    I will always prefer a 3d naked woman in person over 2d on a computer screen. Even if that in person is not in the best shape, that I don't care about.

    When I was younger I'd ask my girlfriend if I could see her and she said No go find some porn, she even found me some and said leave me alone. Since I really really wanted to see a naked women, I didn't feel like I had much choice.

    Eventually she gave me and let me see her and the porn stopped.

    • 😂😂. Instathot? I sorta made it up or read it somewhere. Well, interesting story, that makes me feel better that you prefer REAL women instead of some pixels.

Most Helpful Girls

  • These things are micro cheating because you are lusting after a woman who isn't your woman. Another woman (the woman on the screen) is making you horny and cum. You watching porn is just lack of self control, lack of self control in which you simply can't wait on your wife.

    It isn't about insecurity on its entirity. Porn isn't healthy it have been proven so and its quite addictive. There is the unrealistic expectations in sex when you watch porn, so porn is quite damaging for relationships. This information is easily accsssed and instead of people actually taking the time to educate themselves they choose to be ignorant to it. Just another sign of the fall of society.

    • THANK YOU!!! More women need to think like this 👍👍👍. My boyfriend and I decided that we won’t watch any porn or masturbate because we’re saving each other for marriage.

    • Wow you are so lucky, congrats i am so happy for you! I also want to wait for marriage. I am rooting for the both if you!!!

  • I don’t believe in micro-anything! He either cheated or he didn’t! While ogling other women is hella disrespectful (especially if I am there) but it’s not cheating! And porn is definitely not cheating! It’s just a tool for sexual fantasies! I completely understand and respect the fact that you disapprove of porn, but you need to understand that not everyone thinks or feels exactly the same way you do. And if we are to respect diversity and not judge LGBTQAIIP community, because it’s not OUR place to judge others’ sexual behavior, why so judgmental against people who enjoy porn?

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What Girls & Guys Said

13 84

  • The entire "micro-whatever" victim culture is pathetic and childish. Grow up. Emotionally mature people don't obsess about such trivial issues - there are REAL problems in the world - and probably in your own neighborhood - that deserve your attention FAR more.

    • Thank you MrOracle! *does the "we're not worthy move"

    • Well said sir!

    • *clap clap clap clap*

    • Show All

  • Wow!! Insecure much? MIcro cheating? What in the world is that about. Porn is just pixels. He was looking at girls when he found you. It's instinctive.

    • Porn in general is destructive to our society.

    • And read the question I meant looking at it while in the relationship.

    • I see where you're coming from with the porn thing. To me it's good and bad. If you're looking at it just to get off fine. If you're missing work or school just to look at it I see problems or if you want your partner to perform like a porn star I see problems😊

    • Show All

  • Watching porn *IS NOT* cheating. If you have a problem with your man watching porn. It's you that has the problem, not them.

    • i don't have low standards, thanks

    • It's got nothing to do with standards. It's more to do with making your problem someone else's fault rather than owning your shit.

  • Seems involuntary to me. If it’s repeatedly with one person that’s problematic.

  • There is no such thing as micro cheating, you either cheat or not. Referring to something as micro cheating is something a school kid would come out with.

    with both ex wife and some ex gf’s we have both checked out the same girl at the same time.

    If you are in contact / exchanging stuff with another person emotionally and / or sexually, and your partner is unaware, then you are cheating or on the edge of.

    watching porn is not cheating, there is no emotional or sexual exchange.

    Also if I check out another girl, not cheating, just simple letching.

    It sounds like you have immense insecurity issues.

  • Yea... none of that is cheating.

  • I see this question quite often and I've never really had any interest in answering I would like to see what the guys are going to say this answer I'm going to give you is I mean only for me I don't know about other guys but for me when I would watch it it's because I was horny and she was not there I wanted to do it quick and that's the fastest way it has nothing to do with googly eyes are wishing or dreaming the only thing it had to do with is me being horny and getting off really quick and get along with the rest of my day there is no intent there to cheat RB disloyal drool over some chick on the internet I think a lot of what you have to say is your own insecurities I mean I do understand and I respect what you're saying because that's the way you feel about it but I mean for me anyway it's the farthest thing from the truth it's just a means and Avenue to get off really quick and get on with the rest of your day

    • Okay

  • Micro cheating is a myth created by people who are insecure about themselves. It's completely normal to still have the urge to acknowledge other attractive people and to fantasize outside of your partner. You're not the only hot girl in the world, your partner doesn't suddenly become an alien incapable of being attracted to others and assuming you're that special is hella narcissistic.

    • Okay then, those guys aren’t for me cause I’m very insecure 😂.

    • Stay single then asker, nobody wants you and your attitude

  • Wow, micro-cheat is a thing now?

    I would never consider porn cheating at all, that's just crazy talk.
    Telling instathots the "have a tasty looking bublishuos ass, I could see a girl having a issue with that, but not porn, if you can't handle the fact that your man masturbates some times that's a you problem.

    Like really, I can jerk off 3 or 4 times a day, I see something sexy in a show or movie and I'm ready to go, are you going to fuck me or suck my dick every single time I get a boner?
    You call them selfish for releiving themselfs on their own, i think k it would be selfish to expect you to take of my dick every single time it gets hard.
    And if your expecting me to just blue ball myself and not ask you for sex or go rub one out you are just over controlling and I wouldn't date you or put up with it.

    So either we have a lot of sex, or I jerk off, or I leave you. You aren't going to shame or control my sexual needs and urges to that degree and calling me looking at other hot women "micro-cheating" makes you sound super insecure

  • If you are seriously intimidated by someone watching porn or checking out a nice pair of tits you shouldn't be allowed to date.

  • Sorry but micro cheating sounds so childish.
    Unless he sticks his penis in another vagina or bum hole that isn’t yours, he’s not cheating. Up until the level, he’s free to do, to look, and to like whoever the hell he wants.

  • #microcheat is the hashtag of the day.

  • There is no such thing as micro cheating. A man is doing those things because it is natural to them. They are supposed to fuck every girl on the planet to keep the human race going. You don't get mad at a dog when he eats your food so don't get mad when a man acts like a man.

    • So I guess it’s okay for a woman to do the same? And you basically said that acting like a man is giving into lust. Lacking self-control is not manly.

    • And I would avoid those loser men, I guess you can have them.

    • If she wants to she can. Men are not losers they are amazing humans. Just because you want to cut their balls off and make them women doesn't give you the right to change them.

    • Show All

  • Personally, the only reasons I can think of for watching porn while in a relationship is either if I wasn't getting enough sex or if my partner changed her appearance somehow (like getting fat or cutting her hair). If my girl didn't let either of those things happen, then she wouldn't have to worry about it. If she doesn't want me to watch porn, that's fine, but then she better be prepared to suck my dick at a moment's notice. Ultimately, it's my partner's actions that are going to determine whether I end up watching porn or not. I'd rather not watch it, but I'm going to if I don't have my needs met.

  • Looking is Involuntary it is a reflex, as long as he corrects himself after out of respect for you you gotta understand. As for porn if you want the honest truth... men are not sexually built for monogamy were mammals same as lions, apes etc. our instinctual drive is to pro create with as many women as possible. Our emotions make us Monogamous for I woman. Porn can Fulfill that urge to hunt for new pussy. But if the man is neglecting his women’s pussy in favor of porn then it’s a problem but if not and it’s a healthy sexual relationship then understand that just watching porn don’t mean he thinks those women are better than you we even watch women that may be considered unattractive to society just because it’s DIFFERENT. We are different from you women, most women get more sexually intense when you’re comfortable in love BUT men can get tired of the same pussy very quickly and be completely in love but it’s not our choice it’s a instinct but love, and even if it’s familiar, great sex with our love keeps us happy. So just don’t worry He’s just fulfilling that drive in the most innocent way other than cheating.

  • I hate people who make up new words just to judge others and try and influence their behavior.

    • Didn’t make up this word, it already exists. It’s anything that makes your partner uncomfortable. Which women can do as well.

    • Well there's a lot of insecure people so, if anything that makes your partner uncofoortable is "cheating" you're just promoting controlling behavior and putting the blame on the more stable independent person instead of the person who's paranoid. This is why I don't like these words they already have an agenda baked into them. It's like intenalised misogyny or fuckboy/slut or privilege etc. 99%of the time these words are used to either dismiss someones opinion or shame someone or frame the conversation in a very one sided way etc. And I feel like micro-cheating is the same thing. If a girl doesn't like if a guy watches porn she should just tell him that and make the conversation about that. If you bring the word cheating into the conversation you're just attacking the other person instead of communicating and working together.

  • So I understand your frustration but you need to understand it has nothing to do with you. Watching porn is not cheating, some couples watch porn together ya know. that being said if my girlfriend wanted me to stop, I'd make an effort. I think the relationship should be prioritized and so if you really can't get past it and he can't stop and you feel it's cheating perhaps you need a different partner.

    • Okay

  • So we are now making new rules to demonise people because some dont like that people watch porn or find others attractive 10/10

    • When a guy watches porn when he could have sex with his girlfriend/wife it’s hurtful because you don’t value her. And, you can find someone attractive but not like their pictures or follow them?

    • If a person watches porn over fucking there partner clearly there is a issue but u said the watching off porn in itself is bad which I disagree with plus if u have a issue with your partner liking or following a person online make it known but there is no denying if u trusted them there shouldn't be a issue too many clowns out too much validation into likes these days

    • Like we are completely disregarding that women also watch porn or that in some couples they watch porn together dont try to police other peoples relationships with rules that u want in yours if u don't want your man to watch porn make that clear from the start some will still be happy to date u others won't simple no?

  • Porn? you mad bro? what the actual fuck maybe if stopped being this disgusting of a person with control issues then maybe you're fella wouldn't be watching porn in the first place. Women in porn are fucking worshiped as a Goddesses and sexuality is scared.

  • According to the chart I would be a mini flirt.

    Watching porn can spice up some things. Let's make it not bigger than it is. One can watch porn to fantasize about things his/her partner is not willing to do, or just to get in the mood, or when their partner is not in the mood, or just to masturbate. So many possible reasons. Personally, I've never felt that it led to lower relationship satisfaction. There is a big difference between porn and real life and most people are able to distinguish that very well. Of course, if it influences your relationship negatively, it's a bad thing. But you can't speak for everyone stating that porn will lead to lower relationship satisfaction.

    My girlfriend is fine with me watching porn, and it can also happen that I notice an attractive girl and have a look (without staring, it should not be obvious or embarassing). But it's not wrong to enjoy something beautiful. It doesn't mean someone who does that is a cheater.

    • If your girlfriend is okay with it, ok.

  • Show More (77)

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