Girls, What is the best way to ask a girl for sex?

[Pedminacar]

Hi there

The question title might be weird, but I'm in a situation a bit complex. You see, I was always shy, introvert through my life. On school (9th, 10th, 11th grade) I was psychologically bullied which lead me to go to a psychiatrist. When I was 16 years old I started taking antidepressives and anxiolytics. Anyway, I never regain confidence to hang out with people. There is a phenomenon that when a shy person doesn't react to teasing, other people start to abuse, trying to get a reaction. So basically since I finished high school I never hang out with people of my age. I went to university, but I isolated myself, scared that the same would happen to me again. But recently, I became really depressed seeing the time passing so fast, with me getting older, and can't enjoy life. I never had a girlfriend, neither I kissed any woman. I live in the past thinking what happened +10 years ago. I once had to do an internship on a car workshop and the guys asked me if I ever had sex. I was 18 years old and answered no. They started to make fun of me, teasing me. Since then I've been obsessed with the need to have sex so people can leave me alone. But since I'm too scared of being accused of sexual harassment, I don't have the guts to talk to women. Putting this I think the only way of being
uninhibited on social interactions is if I have sex with a girl. So, based on what I wrote above, what is the best way, to politely ask a girl for sex.

PS: I don't like the idea of being phony to a girl, saying I'm really interested on her, just to get on bed with her and then leave her.

[SueShe]

From the replies given by others, I believe that you are in serious need for help by people that actually understand you and not just take the money out of your pocket to give you advice but don't care.

You could start by joining a club or take up a hobby where people share the same interests as you do. It is easier to have contacts and relax with those that have identical interests because they can relate to you. There you can try to get closer to the one or the other member and just be natural. You have to start building up confidence.

If it fails, then you could seek the assistance from a specialist with a program called "surrogate partner therapy".

Check out this site that explains what that program is all about.

https://www.healthline.com/health/healthy-sex/sex-surrogate#what-it-is

Good luck.

[loves2learn]

Well, you have to start small. Try asking someone out for coffee or a dinner date. You don’t just come out and politely ask for sex, you wait for mutual attraction and chemistry and you feel things out.

[Pedminacar]

Yes, I understand that. But I don't want to ask someone for a date just to have sex. Maybe my logic is wrong, but in my head, I think in order to be socially inhibitted, I need to have sex first. It is like a weight over my shoulders. I'm obsessed with the idea someone on work or somewhere else asks me something related to "how many girlfriends you had", "where was your first kiss", etc. I mean it seems sex is natural and everyone likes it and are comfortable talking about that. But time to time there are cases of sexual harassment and rapes which makes me worried where the line is.

[loves2learn]

You don’t go on a date just for sex. You go on a date to see if you are compatible and have chemistry together. If both of those things are true, physical intimacy often follows.

[Anonymous]

Build a relationship first.

[Pedminacar]

Yes, it seems this is the normal way of doing it. I mean it is not that I only want sex from girls, I really want to be a boyfriend of someone. The question is, can I be a good boyfriend? Can I make a girl happy? By the way, what is the line between "appropriate behaviour towards women" and "sexual harassment"? What should I do (or not do) when approaching a girl? What are the odds of a girl starts screaming in the middle of the street, if I just asked to have a drink/coffee?