I want kids I’m scared I’m infertile and I don’t want him to feel trapped if I do get pregnant?

[Anonymous]

Backstory
I’m ready and actively want kids
My fiancé is older and has 3 kids from his previous marriage and I love his kids but I want my own and he says he’s open to it but wants to wait to try until we own a home
After we got engaged we stopped using condoms and I got on birth control for the first time in my life and it’s made me extremely sick and I already have clinical depression and it made me suicidal so my fiancé wants me off it and said whatever happens happens and our 3 yr plan will turn into a 9 month and that feels unfair to him to me
I also have this deep down feeling that I’m infertile because I was in a yr and a half relationship before my fiancé and we never used condoms and I didn’t get pregnant and I don’t think they usually test fertility unless you have actively tried a year or have symptoms
My fiancé knows about my feelings and said and if you are infertile like you think we won’t have anything to worry about
He also was planning a vasectomy before he meet me and I know he only is willing to have more for me because he knows it important to me so Now with 2 days until my next originally scheduled depo shot appointment I feel bad not planning on getting it and if I get pregnant I’ll feel bad and if I don’t I’ll feel bad too because I think I’m infertile but I also want both of us to want a baby before I get pregnant even if by accident I’m stressed and sad

Any woman my age or older know what to do about all my feelings

[Adam1978]

Do NOT go of birth control without telling him first. Your ruining his trust in you permanently if you do. And he should walk away from you and you earned that treatment. And maybe it was the guy that was infertile in your last relationship? He might have had a vasectomy without telling you. Don't assume things, your still young and don't need to rush into anything at the moment.

[Asker]

Looool I literally said my fiancé wants me off the birth control because all l the terrible symptoms and my ex wasn’t infertile he got a girl pregnant and she miss carried they broke up 3 weeks before we started dating and he wanted kids so unless he lied about wanting kids and secretly got a vasectomy some how without me noticing I’d say no and I’m not really rushing into anything I don't know what you think I’m rushing into

[Adam1978]

So get that house, unless your going to pay for it in cash, it's not that unreasonable timeline. Try another birth control such as copper spiral for the years to come.

[Asker]

Me and my fiancé have already made the decision that I will not be on birth control I’ve tried more than one I’ve had the same reaction so no 😁 and we are still planning on buying a house but the size of the house we plan on buying it’s going to take a few years but I feel like you didn’t actually read what I said be I have already stated a lot of this but thanks

[Roxxy99]

Why don’t you slow down a bit and take things one at a time. You don’t know that you’re infertile. It may have been your previous partner who had fertility issues... or it was just a stroke of luck you didn’t get pregnant. Speak to your doctor about it. Tell him you had unprotected sex for a year and a half and didn’t conceive and now you want to try for a baby. Maybe they will check your fertility and give you some answers. Rather than worry, seek answers. In the meantime, your fiancé knows you’re going off birth control and and you won’t be trapping him if he decides to have unprotected sex with you. He obviously has raised kids and pregnancy will not be new to him. He knows the risks and could choose to wear a condom or pull out if he wanted to.

[ohshee]

Well that's cool that you think about this stuff but the way the world is right now bad with China doing what they're doing right now I mean really think about bringing a child into the world until I get stable

[Bee-Hatch]

Then go to the sperm bank.

[Asker]

For?

[Bee-Hatch]

In you're overly wordy piece, you're considering having a kid but don't want to trap him. So go get inpregnated and it's not an issue.

[Asker]

Well we’ve actually talked about that already and he doesn’t want me to do that because he says no matter what if I do decide to do it he’s not going to leave and he will raise it and so I might as well wait for his kid and I know he will because his oldest kid isn’t his his ex wife had a 3 month old when they meet and this kid to this day age 12 doesn’t know he’s not his bio father