Why do some people get offended or hesitate when asked about seeing STD/HIV results from a potential sex partner?

I’m single but was talking to someone and I told him the truth we are both grown if he is just looking for a hookup and to be friends with benefits that is fine (he promised me a date but that never happened) I did bring up the question and asked when was the last time he got tested. I don’t wan’t raw sex unless of course condoms would be used but knowing someone has a clean record is a must too, condoms are just the cherry on top lol. He told me back in September. I then asked if I can see the results since I showed him mine also from September (I’m going to get tested again before this month ends) and my results were negative. Instead of showing me results he proceeded to show me pictures of his dick and write “no bumps lumps cuts or leakage ever” and I said that’s not helping me whatsoever and then when I asked what is so hard to get the results he wrote “it’s online and that he would have to do the most to look for it” I told him that’s not doing the most that is smart. So he thought he can really test my intelligence too and he was so adamant about meeting up (in a hotel) which I told him save your money because we will not be having sex! He saw my message and he still travelled by me and booked a room so I did meet him and he had already paid $60 and when we got in the room he was saying “finally happy to see you let’s talk and talk to me about anything” then he took his dick out and expect me to do something and when he realized I wasn’t phased he put on a condom and said “happy now” I gave him a hand job that’s about it and I knew leaving the hotel he would block me because A) I didn’t give him sex and B) He wasted his money on a room for nothing. I just don’t understand how he couldn’t be that eager to show me a simple negative test result like he claimed but he was eager about getting a room.
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Superb Opinion

  • Depending on your region a "full" STD test can cost over $500 depending on insurance, and how long you're willing to wait. So, that would be if I wanted to go to the closest Urgent Care and pay cash. Through insurance I think it would be more like 200 because no one covers the blood test for herpes for some reason.

    There is a clinic I know of that tests for 30 dollars, but the wait is 4 hours to two days. Also I haven't been there in over a year so they might be shuttered. Planned Parenthood in this state receives zero funding, so going there is the same cost as paying cash at the Urgent Care, except they can't give antibiotics, so you'd have to take the results to urgent care anyway.

    In comparison, walking into a planned parenthood in California I'd get tested for free, and a bag with condoms to leave with, give a convincing argument and some Plan B as well. I would skip the BS of other people's excuses if it means that much to you, I don't wait for lies or excuses. I just buy HIV test kits from walgreens if I meet someone new.

    They're covered FSA purchases, and only 30-50 dollars a piece depending on how many you buy. Test result pops in about 15-20 minutes, cheek swab. It would be pretty easy to trust the "result" from someone that has a positive and used MSPaint or photoshop to change what you see from reality. That test in front of you that both of you can see, unless you're hooking up with houdini it's accurate and precise.

    You only have the H's to worry about anyway, herpes, hiv, and hepatitis, everything else can be taken care of with antibiotics. Herpes is a nuisance, the cure for Hep C is simply expensive, HIV is the only one to truly be worried about.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Because he's a sexist, insecure pig. I've always required any partner to get tested as do I. We share our results. I've had a vasectomy so pregnancy isn't an issue. I hate condoms so a negative test along with and exclusivity agreement is mandatory.

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 5
  • I have been tested several times in the past ten years and always offer to show the results to a new partner.

  • Because some people are simply stupid.

    everyone needs to be very open to sharing sexual health checks and results,

    it’s simply barking mad when someone has a hissy fit or gets shirty about it.

    sounds insecure

  • People read into it and take it as a accusation because they are silly

  • Imagine if he spent that money on an STI test, he'd gotten laid, and likely without a condom if clean!

  • Don't know.