Sexual Relationships
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My boyfriend is insecure because my ex has a larger penis, what can I do?

So first thing I did not brag about my ex being bigger, my boyfriend was very insisting to know, always asking me how be compared to other guys I have been with, and I ended up telling him the truth just so he'd stop asking, not wanting to hurt him, not wanting to lie to him either. My boyfriend's penis is just about 5.5 inches, within what's considered average, he isn't very thick but not too thin either, average here too. By comparison, my ex has a truly large penis, when measured I was shocked to find out it's 11 inches in length and as thick as a can of coke. Now let's be honest, sex with these two is quite different, but they each have their pros. My ex is bigger and gave me body shaking orgasms but I felt sore down there after each intercourse. My current boyfriend does not make me feel sore and I like the shape of his penis better, he is circumcised whereas my ex is not. I have tried to tell him to not worry about it, that sex with him is great, that he's such a kind, gentle man, he's also the most handsome man I have dated, and that I love him so much I hope we can spend the rest of our life together. But he doesn't want to hear anything, he's obsessed with his penis size and quite insecure about it despite me telling him that he's doing great in bed. Has anyone here been in the same situation? I realize that it's specific for each person but what can I do to make him feel more confident? I don't want to lose him.
0 1

Superb Opinion

  • Your boyfriend is very similar to me in thought process. With my ex, I also asked her how I compared to her exes. She said I was the biggest, but I always had it in the back of my head that she was lying to make me feel better. She's been with about 7 guys give or take... I can't remember and I can't imagine my 6" dick being the biggest of them. Anyways, no guy wants to live in the shadow of other guys in bed. Your boyfriend is probably also a giver in bed, making sure or doing his best to bring you to orgasm because he doesn't want you to think of any guy other than him. Even if you don't think that, the fact that you slept with a guy that was 11" will stick with your boyfriend. I'd always feel insecure about my ex as well. I'd ask her to rate my performance after sex often and to give it to me bluntly. I also asked what the best sex she ever had was out of 10 and she said 12. The most times she came in one session was 7 times. The most I've made her cum was 5 times in one session. Although she rated me better a few times saying 13 out of 10, I can't help but think she was just saying it to not make me feel bad. Anyways... my point is... both your boyfriend and I are insecure and there's not much you can do to help it. We don't love our partners any less and we appreciate honesty more than anything, but it's always in our heads. The only thing that would put him at ease is if he's the one you end up with.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Science is on your side. You can tell him that the part of the vagina that is most sensitive, are the first 2 inches. Also, that the G spot is not too far inside. Tell him that the psychological aspects of sex, the relationship, the time taken in the arousal, teasing and build-up are way more important to have an amazing orgasm and an amazing sex, than being bigger. These things have been studied. Finally, I think a man with a thicker and larger penis (for example, larger than 7 inches) probably has to put some effort in order not to hurt his partner (specially sometimes hitting hard the cervix can be painful). Having a more average penis, makes it more likely for him to not bother (if the previous games have been appropiate), and just let himself go crazy, without hurting you. Most common consensus (I think it is important to listen to the girls here, not me, a man), is that to have wonderful penetrative sex , anatomically, there are two requirements: (1) not being TOO small (not reaching the first 2 inches of the vagina)... and (2) not being too thin. The other thing you can just do... is try to get some councelling or therapy together.

Most Helpful Girls

  • All you can do is reassure him you like his size.

    If he thought his penis was the biggest that's on him.

    Guys worry more about being biggest instead of pleasing us.

  • Ughhh. Why did he be ask? What a stupid question. Also 11 inches is insane.

    • I agree, he was stupid to ask, and now he has to get over it.

    • Rule number 1. Do not ask a question you are going to hate the answer to. 🤦🏻‍♀️ Where do these people come from?

    • They come from planet Dumbfuck, lol.

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 15

  • You being honest with him killed his ego , why you should of just lied , I know lying is bad but little white lies like that are ok to do when it comes to not killing someone’s ego , But the fact that he is insecure about his penis is his problem and something he is going to have to get over , if you didn’t like his penis you wouldn’t be fucking him so tell him that to shut him up lol Just make sure when you are having sex with him don’t scream out Deeper Go Deeper it will kill his ego again considering you told him you had 11 inches in you lol Girls honestly should stop comparing and telling the guys they are having sex with that their ex was bigger , My 1 ex girlfriend told her husband that I was bigger then he was and he ended up divorcing her over it , Guys are very self conscious about their penis size and want to know that they are rocking their girl’s worlds , You never hear a guy scream TIGHTER GET TIGHTER lol

  • Yeah.
    For you: there is this thing called white lie, and for me, it's very valid for this scenario.
    For him: If you can't handle something, don't ask the question.

  • Tbh it sounds like you've played everything by the book. He insisted on opening that pandora's box so now it's on him to deal with it. That's why I have a simple rule I live by: never ask a question if you're not prepared for the least desirable answer. Anyway, it's not like you bragged about your ex or anything, all you can do is carry on being your sweet self, and hopefully he'll come around

  • He has an unhealthy obsession.

    This is not a question I have ever even asked or worried about.

    Ever.

  • Nothing you can do now. Avoid talking about it.

  • Try to make him feel special. Make him feel like you live sex with him.

  • Good job reminding him how you would feel sore. That’s something us guys with thicker dicks have as a disadvantage. So let him know you can have sex multiple times a day with him.

    • Also he is more able to have anal sex with you than your ex was

  • Make him feel special and if he asks other similar questions, then please don't mention the ex, lol.

  • Jesus christ you’re not even 18 and you’ve had an 11 inch coke can inside you? My fucking lord…well at least you enjoy sex with your boyfriend, but yeah…no man is happy to be smaller than his partner’s ex

  • Have you told him that you prefer his shape more and you can go multiple rounds with him as opposed to your ex.

  • Yes guys are so sensitive about this, once they know that you had a bigger boyfriend before you they would immediately become obsessed with the idea and overlook all the great things you have that you just mentioned.

  • Maybe you could say something Like with your ex it always hurted. I realy don't get why guys are so fokussed in their dick size

  • You can be fuckbuddy with your ex

  • My ex told me when she was drunk laughing as she said my ex was way bigger. We didn’t really talk about it or have sex for a few weeks main thing that bothered me was her laughing.
    So in the end she went to the local sex shop bought a cock sleeve close to his size and came home with it and some lube stripped off told me to fuck her with it and see that it’s not all that great having a big cock. The sleeve hasn’t left the draw since as she was sore for weeks and didn’t want sex where with my size she wants it 2-3 a week.

  • Any woman on here who thinks you should ever go talking about your ex's giant penis, let me tell you, it goes both ways. Most Vagina's are average, can't really tell much of a difference on tightness of one over the other... However, any man who has had more than 10 lovers will tell you... yes, there is one who had the tightest pussy he ever felt... In my case, even though we were both in our 30's and my penis is average... I can tell you, this woman had the tightest vagina I have ever been with, almost uncomfortable tight, needed lots of oral to lube her up... I can also tell you who had the loosest vagina I've ever been with. I can tell you, I had no problem having orgasms with either, and neither of them had any problem having an orgasm with me. The one with the loosest vagina asked me one time, if she should get vaginal rejuvenation, she knew she was loose, after 3 kids vaginally, and she enjoyed my entire fist in her... and I told her honestly... don't ever do something like that for me...

    Again, it doesn't matter.

    Now ladies... be honest... how would you feel if your boyfriend told you he had an ex with a tighter vagina than yours, but it's nothing you should worry about... I love your vagina. I have a feeling your response would be a little different than if he told you who had the loosest vagina, right? But if he tells you who was tighter, you will routinely have that memory come up, and say to yourself (I'll bet he misses that tight vagina sometimes). Tell me I'm wrong.

    Everyone, for the love of god, quit comparing genitals with your significant others. Absolutely no good will come of it, and for fucks sake ladies quit saying "why does he care, it doesn't matter". Tell me it wouldn't matter if your boyfriend told you who had a tighter vagina. If you say it, you're lying and you know it.

  • Weird

    • I wouldn’t have even told him about other guys sizes because that’s really not his business. I’d only tell him he is fine how he is and if he doesn’t accept that, what can you do?

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