Sexual Relationships
+1 y

Can a Husband Doubt/get to know if the Girl was raped recently before the Marriage?

I'm from Bangla hindu family from Bangladesh, My Sister's marriage is going to happen after 3 days on Wednesday in a Conservative traditional family but a Mishap has happened two days Ago on Friday, Some Guys kidnapped my sister and they raped her ! Now we don't want to inform about this incident to Groom's family because they will break this Marriage Ceremony ! My Sister had gone to hospital and Now she has been discharged from there after the treatment, She is going to get Married after 3 days but there are some apprehensions, Is there Any Chance that her husband get to know or Doubt that She got raped recently?
Updates:
+1 y
if he doubt that she is not virgin then it might cause serious issues and here People care a lot on this specially about a Newly married bride !
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Superb Opinion

  • I'd be far more concerned about the mental state of your sister after being raped. Why don't you and the groom's family call off the wedding due to the bride's "illness."
    You sister needs to seek counseling for several weeks to discuss this with a professional.
    Suppose she can't have sex with her new husband because of the rape? This very often happens with rape victims.
    Your sister should go to a in patient psychiatric program to help her with this trauma. I would suggest she stay for 90 days, just like someone with a drug problem usually does. She will attend group counselingsessions with women in her same situation, be in a safe environment that supports her recovering from this horrible situation.
    Did she press charges against this rapist? That also needs to be attended to.
    Your head is in the wrong place. This isn't about the GROOM and his family feeling she is damaged goods.
    This is about HER feeling that way, when, through no fault of her own she was psychologically AND physically damaged.
    Your whole family needs to be in in on HELPING YOUR SISTER.
    Forget the wedding and everything else but getting her help. Call it off for now due to your sister's "illness."
    Get her in a good place and ask HER what she wants to do about her marriage.
    If she wants to tell her groom, then she should. If he needs counseling, then do that. Let them go together.
    There is no shame on your sister, but shame on you and your family for trying to hide this and ignoring the fact that your sister has been hurt badly.
    GET HER HELP. screw the wedding for now.

    • And if the groom wants to call it off, LET THAT BE. He wasn't the right person for your sister. She needs a man with compassion to be with her. Especially now. And you need a good dose of compassion yourself.

    • Asian families gossip, it could ruin her chance to get married ever again. It is not advisable to tell the groom. It's not a shame to hide whats happened, jeez. You seem to think your family should tell everyone about something that you could be discriminated for in future. This is irrational.

    • @ChocoBrowny I never said to tell her family. Why did you make that assumption. That seems the worst thing to do. I have no idea if it is or isn't advisable to tell the groom or not. How long has she known this person. I realize it's an arranged marriage, but sometimes the people and their families are well-acquainted. And I didn't say it was a shame to hide what's happened EITHER! I proposed they call off the wedding because of her "ILLNESS" and get her to as much help as the family can afford IN PRIVATE. I don't know what kind of illness or stress or what has to be made up, but make it up to get this young woman the help she needs to get over this trauma. Personally, I think the wedding should be called off, period. This girl needs time to heal and it shouldn't be based on some deadline, such as an impending wedding. How old is this woman? If she's relatively young, her chances for marrying will not be ruined. But, as you say, Asian families gossip. Do you believe this rape story will never get out or be told to the groom or his family? It would only take ONE jealous or angry person to try to shame this girl's family or stop the marriage to the groom. I say get this woman to a safe place where she can heal from being hurt. That is the ONLY concern that matters right now.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I think the girl should tell the husband clearly and if he is not willing to marry then probably he was never the right man for her.

Most Helpful Guys

  • I find your Q EXTREMELY OFFENSIVE. Firstly, you seem to care MORE about maintaining your family's HONOR than taking care of and protecting your sister. This poor girl has been raped and had her reputation ruined. As her brother, you should be ASHAMED of your OFFENSIVE beliefs and behaviors. Saying that this is the culture of 1.5 billion people is NOT a justifiable EXCUSE in the court of public opinion and international law.

    If your sister doesn't commit suicide first, she will likely be killed by her groom, his family or WORSE by your family!

    As her brother, it is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to protect her from your BARBARIC culture. If you love your sister, you will help her ESCAPE to a fairer more moderate culture that will NOT SHAME and VILIFY your sister for something that was beyond her control. You MUST see that she gets the physical safety and mental health counseling HELP that she SO DESPERATELY needs

    If you FAIL to protect her than SHAME be upon you.

    • Very well said. The shame is on her brother if he does not defend her, if he doesn't keep her safe and get her help!

    • The Shame is a network of Americans telling him to inform the other family so that a situation of honour killing occurs. You're then asking her to protect her as a teenager 😂 listen to yourselves. If you were educated enough you wouldn't have advised him to go public and tell everyone she was raped. Shame on you

    • @ChocoBrowny You are the biggest fool who clearly cannot read! When did @guardian45 EVER MENTION to tell the other family? You have no argument you are inventing words that this man did not say. You are a disgrace. You are promoting honor killing. You are advice a young man (do not tell me they do not consider him a man in his culture) to sit around and do nothing. You are just as guilty as the criminals. The only advice you should be giving this young adult is to defend his sister at all cost.

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  • medical records are confidential.
    But the question your sister has to ask is why she wouldn't tell the groom, is this an arranged marriage? she's going to spend the rest of her life together with him and she's going through a trauma so bad she's going to have PTSD. This groom will want to consumate the marriage on a wedding night and there's no way this is going to go well for either. If she doesn't want to he'll think she's disrespected him. And he won't understand why. She may have injuries bruises and a sore groin. If the family dont even respect what happened and call the marriage off, the groom wasn't suitable. They could have got married and it then happened a week after. He's still got to support her through it no?

    • Arrange Marriage

    • i think her family should postpone the marriage ceremony (say the family have an emergency personal issue to resolve). If the groom really wants her, he can wait. I understand its expected of her to be a virgin girl, but he'll find out if they marry immediately. She needs to recover from it and it will take time. She can't feel pressure or it'll make her trauma worse.

    • id recommend she gets counselling, also as a brother you should help her through it, she will need time to overcome the feeling of being unsafe especially around men. She needs all the support she can get. No way should she be with someone who is still a stranger to her. I hope your sister gets through it, marriage can wait there's no rush. Advice: dont tell the other family anything about the rape, just keep it hidden. This family could talk.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • So you guys couldn't just inform the husband to be that she got kidnapped and raped and showed him proof? It wasn't her fault.

    • This man has mentioned HONOR KILLING in other replies. In otherwards the family murders the girl.

    • Her brother is a teenager, he can not prevent something beyond his control just like how he could not prevent her from being raped. lol funny that you're here educating an American politely but rudely disgustingly condemning her brother for understanding something that is a consequence of telling others. You've also accused his family of being murderers. You need psychiatric treatment.

    • @ChocoBrowny I repeated his exact words and no matter what tou say ypu are morally and politically incorrect. And turning to ridiculous insults is proof that you have no argument you need to turn to abusive words because you have no other words to prove your point

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  • WTF is wrong with a society where a groom would break off a wedding because of a rape...

  • Eww.

    • what?

  • I don't think so

  • I doubt it, but I am sorry for your sister. She is the victim of a horrible crime and not to blame. Is this a cultural concern or specific to the man's family? I know nothing of your culture and will not criticize it, but I believe your sister is not to blame.

    • @jerdanro He doesn't care about his sisters emotional well being! This man has mentioned HONOR KILLING in another reply. In otherwards the family murders the girl.

    • @ChocoBrowny White girls you say? Again you make false claims to try to promote something that is wrong meetkitty123 PUERTO RICAN guardian45 Canadian man jerdanro United States man Ninjaflowers Honk kong girl Jessebelll United Kingdom girl You have people from all walks of the world here telling you and this man that he is wrong not defend his sister and protect her. Yet you aim to say we are all white? No we are all a mix group of different races different religions different countries standing together as one voice to defend a young woman which no one here knows! THE ONLY ONE IN THIS POST WHO IS ADVICING THIS MAN WRONG IS YOU by attacking the views address by these individuals. Should the girl have time to heal? Yes Should the family delay the marriage yes Should she have counseling yes But should honor killing ever been considered or brought up NO Should one person sit by and do nothing NO You are the one not empowering this man! You are the one not giving this man hope you are the one who is telling man his situation is hopeless IT IS NEVER HOPELESS. THIS GIRL HAS A CHANCE THIS MAN HAS A CHANCE TO KEEP HER SAFE. HE SHOULD NEVER LOOSE FAITH. HE MUST STAY STRONG AND DEFEND THE GIRL. Clearly you turn to petty insults as a defending argument instead of facts! Sadly the only one here who is advicing this man that all may be lost is you!

    • @meetkitty123 I have no words for how fucked up that is.

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