Does anyone else really regret not having more sex in your 20’s?

[Anonymous]

I lost my v card to my now husband when I was 27. I was shy when I was younger and didn’t put myself out there much I guess. Anyway the sex with my husband is terrible, not his fault we’re just really incompatible. The things that turn me on baffle him. The things that turn him on make me want to laugh. We rarely have sex anymore and have been talking about a separation after only 2 years of marriage. I wish I’d realized b4 we married that it would be bad, but having no experience I had no idea what sex should b like and was too shy/scared to tell him what I wanted.

My advise to anyone in the same position as I is just don’t do it. Fuck as many guys as possible while ur young and just get it out of your system. If I had done this I think maybe I wouldn’t even care that the sex was unfulfilling or nonexistent now because I’d b happy to just b in this new stage of life with someone I care about.

Now I’m in my 30’s my options are way reduced for people to have sex with and I wish so bad that I fucked around in my 20’s becaus I could’ve had such a better time and just got in out my system and had fun. Virginity is OVERATED. Fuck the patriarchy telling you to wait!

Anyway, girls, PLEASE do not marry the first guy you sleep with u will REGRET it. Even if he is gd in bed u will always be thinking about the great sex you could have had with bad boys and older men and 1 night drunken stands.

[Lliam]

I couldn't agree more. I never understood the attraction to virgins or the idea of "saving" oneself for marriage. Sexual compatibility is really important and one can't know if they and their partner are going to be sexually compatible unless they have lots of sex before deciding if they want to get married.

Sex has a learning curve. At first you are awkward and clueless. Then, as you gain experience, you learn to enjoy it more and more.

Sex is such a wonderful thing. It should be seized, savored and enjoyed. Abstaining from it makes as much sense as abstaining from delicious food, travel, books, music, experiences in nature, adventures, or other inspiring wonders that make life worth living that create the memories that we cherish for the rest of our lives.

My first experience was in 1970 when I was 16 and in high school. I had been horny and eager for years. My girlfriend was 15 but wasn't a virgin because she had had a previous boyfriend. At some point, she invited me into the trailer that her parents kept in their back yard. It was miraculous for me to finally see and touch a naked female body and to find out what pussy was like. We had sex but I came very quickly that first time.

After that, we found opportunities to have sex on a regular basis. But I was clueless. There were no computers or even VHS machines then. So all I engaged in was missionary and cowgirl at first.

As life went on, I had other girlfriends. I learned from all those experiences.

I fell into an amazing job when I was 26. But I had to cut my long hair and become a suit. I no longer had my hippy/rock star image. I didn't recognize or even like myself much for a few years. I even gained weight. As a result, I went through a sexual dry spell from my late twenties through my early thirties because I didn't want the kind of girl who would want to be with me. It's like the saying "I don't want to a member in a club what would have someone like me for a member."

I got a VHS machine in the early 80s and bought some porn tapes. That was educational.

I got my act together by the time I was 35, lost weight and got back in good shape. For the first time in my life, I started thinking of finding a life partner and settling down. At that point, I had a couple of girlfriends and then met the most amazing women when I was 37. She was 31. She was my physical ideal and we virtually lived together for over a year. She was hyper-sexual, sensual and orgasmic, and made me feel like a sex god. I learned the meaning of ultimate, transcendent sex from her. I had experiences that I hadn't even dreamed of.

For reasons that are complicated, we wound up separating even though we loved each other, and she moved out of state.
Two years later, I met my future wife. I married her when I was 42. We've been happily married now for almost 25 years.

But if not for all my experiences, sexual and otherwise, I wouldn't have been the man that my wonderful wife chose to marry.

[BillHe1]

I was a teen in a small rural town. Always looking and hoping for a chance at sex. Had local parties and small rural dances every Fri & Sat night. But as you say shyness doesn't help. I've always been chunky not really fat till my older adult age. But have always been self-conscious of my size. "Nobody would want to go out with me". But I was always there and always condom ready. But not ready for the result..."never did anything".
When I graduated HS and went to a Tech School/Vocational School 90 miles away, lots of possibilities, BUT still ended as a Virgin.
Then was Drafted in 1971(during VietNam) enlisted in the AF, lots & lots of opportunities but still a Virgin. After a couple years of training and Tech Schools I was sent to Korea for a year, where there is a girl on every corner and several in between. Many many propositions and one or two actually took me back to their hooch for a Good-time... just $10 , just $10... Well it wasn't a very good time. She takes you back between the shacks and huts to her hooch for the night. She's got a nice mattress and blankets on the floor. She just starts taking off my clothes, so I just strip down and she pushes me onto the bed. I'm there naked and then she strips down naked and gets a small pot of hot water off a small heat stove, and squats down in the middle of the room in front of me and washes off her pussy right there in front of me. I've got my hands covering my hard dick and she just laughs. Mamason (the house mother) comes in and takes the money, then we get into bed and Mamason shuts off the lights. Then the girl starts playing with my dick, but won't let me touch or play with her pussy. I can touch her tits, but stop me there. Then she spreads her legs and pulls me over on her in missionary style. I'm hard as a rock, but don't know what to do... it's my 1st. She grabs my dick and I EXPLODE all over her, but not in her pussy. She starts laughing and yelling and Mamason comes in and yells and kicks me out... so I have to walk back to the base gate... STILL A VIRGIN
It wasn't till I got back to the states that I met a girl, a young 21yr old divorcee with a baby, we went out several times and became quite attached. We were married several months later. On our Wedding night I was a Virgin and also a "premmie" again. I had pre-ejaculation problems again on the 1st attempt but the 2nd & 3rd attempts to Consummate our Marriage (she had been through this before), she calmed me down and we slowed down and we performance was GREAT. And twice again the next morning.

I will agree practice makes perfect... and as much as I don't want to suggest that teenage sex now days if the way to go... maybe it will help them in the long run with more experience as long as they do it SAFELY. They will find out at a younger age what it feels like, how to do it, different people do it differently, there are many different positions that work better than others. There are different sizes of penises and I guess vaginas, how to do blow jobs or deep-throating that he likes, how to do oral sex on a woman and how she likes it done.
Maybe you find somebody you really like and want a relationship, but they don't want the type of sex that you want and need for your satisfaction... it's better to learn early what you like and want...
So I agree have sex with who ever and however many you want... to get the experience you will need to find the person (let's say with the sex capability you think you want in a relationship).

BUT DO IT SAFELY Require a Condoms, or other forms of Contraception of all partners (regardless of sex). Also, Keep it Clean and test for STDs often. JMHO

[kaylaS91]

'Fuck as many guys as possible while ur young and just get it out of your system.'
... get what out of my system?

'If I had done this I think maybe I wouldn’t even care that the sex was unfulfilling or nonexistent now'
Your past sexual history (or lack thereof) has nothing to do with sex now. What it does have to do with is how well you and your current partner are vibing in current circumstances.

'Now I’m in my 30’s my options are way reduced for people to have sex with and I wish so bad that I fucked around in my 20’s becaus I could’ve had such a better time and just got in out my system and had fun. '
I'm really concerned with what kind of people you're hanging around with that just because your age starts with a 3, your sexual 'options are way reduced'.

'Even if he is gd in bed u will always be thinking about the great sex you could have had with bad boys and older men and 1 night drunken stands.'
hahahahahaha. Men of any age plus alcohol are anything BUT great sex. Go back to grade 10 biology and you'll understand.

With all the blame-shifting to regret being a result of the woman's short-comings, plus idealization of what the life of a promiscuous woman is like, honestly sounds like it was written by an incel.

[Anonymous]

Girl, what are you talking about? Im in my 30s and there are tons of people to have sex with lol where are you from? Maybe NYC is just different but women of pretty much any age can get laid. Cougars are well known for a reason you know lol

Sounds like you might just have low self-esteem/ low confidence. Fuck the patriarchy also means being confident in yourself in your 40s and beyond and going after what you want. The patriarchy is the lie that tells you you're not attractive because you're in your 30s. Im in my 30s, and kind of fat, and still think I'm hot. Finding cute guys to have sex with is beyond easy. Like, way way too easy. It's one of the easiest things you can do

[loves2learn]

I’m so sorry that happened to you. I hope you can find a fulfilling partner.


I feel beyond lucky to have married the first and only man I slept with. But I married him 5 years after we started having sex. We are very sexually compatible. Our relationship started with sexual compatibility and grew from there.

[summiter]

I agree with you. When I was in my teens and early 20's I was lucky enough to have had a lot of sex with a lot of wonderful girls. I am now engaged (I'm 29) and the sex with my fiancée is wonderful and plentiful.
Why is the sex with your husband so crummy? Maybe get some sex toys? Your thoughts?

[Ms_Vanderquack]

Fucking a, how much sex do you want me to have? Like I need to eat and sleep and go to work and stuff like that.

[Asker]

HAVE MORE

[Ms_Vanderquack]

Lol.

[InfobotLives]

I had plenty so no regrets 😗🚬

[Miristheiss]

You sound disgusting.

[exitseven]

I had sex a lot in my 20's. Some of it I regret but most of it was great. My wife and I went together 2 years before we got married and we probably should have been arrested for some of the stuff we did.

[FilmGuy93]

I totally agree with you. I hate how uptight people are about having sex. It's only sex, just enjoy yourself. I don't regret not having more sex at all; the option wasn't available to me in college quite literally because of how uptight the women in my friend group were. I wasn't making a choice, so there's nothing to regret. The women I had sex with after college turned out to be sooo much more headache than it was worth.

Just as a side note; I'm not too sure that the patriarchy is who is telling you to wait. I think women are just shitty to each other about sex. Maybe I'm just being a clueless guy, but that's my 2 cents, for whatever that's worth.

[HawkPerception]

Yes... I held virginity and losing it to the right person in such a high regard that I lost it to my 2nd girlfriend at 24. One day I asked her after watching Crazy Stupid Love: "Would you still have a partner that slept with a lot of girls in the past... like a different one every day... if they changed?" And she said yes, which was bewildering to me. It means holding out for the right person didn't mean crap all to them and they wouldn't have cared if I "had fun" and slept around when I was younger. I wanted to marry this girl and thought we had such great chemistry. Then she left me completely changing my whole perspective of virginity with it. Now I feel I wasted my earlier years and just want to have fun exploring sex and kinks with girls that are like minded and want a connection, and just want to have fun.

[Browneye57]

Ah... living proof of what I keep saying here, over and over and over.
If you fuck up that sexual compatibility thing you sign yourself up for a lifetime of frustration and disappointment.
Take them for a test drive - make sure you mesh, or you'll be sorry for the rest of your life.
Sex is the glue in a man-woman romantic relationship. Good sex, a big-O, glosses over an awful lot of strife otherwise. And there will always be some, I guarantee it.

[poneglyphs]

Maybe, I'm still a virgin and I do sometimes regret not having a sex life earlier so I wouldn't be so horny but I don't know it's not like I had chances regardless?

[Wise4myage]

Wise words, I will let you know in 10 years, lol. I think you should end that marriage and go have lots of sex, lol.

[kellytheman]

Yes I lost my virginity late in my 20's cause of my low confidence and self-esteem and could had a lot more sex. I also found out when I start having sex all the other girls already had sex and some had kids or had a kid coming. I also probably was more athletic and flexible too where I could of do some sex positions I can't do now.

[Wiredone]

I had plenty of sex when I was younger. I started having sex at 14 and didn't stop until 7 years ago, not my doing. I had a great time in the past. I don't regret it at all

[lovedejj_xo]

Lol I’ve had plenty😅 I’m pretty much settling now and gave up my wild days

[Twalli]

The other option is being open to the swinger lifestyle

[Diversity_Hire]

You should follow me, lol.

[DrunkenMaster]

Lady give me a break.

[Valnac]

Good advice!

[Waldoe]

you are not too old to have fun, don't give up so easily

[anylolone]

I had plenty, maybe too much.
But I had a really horny girlfriend...