Sexual Relationships
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Are most guys ok with hearing sexual escapades of their girlfriends? And girls how is it to hear that about your boyfriend?

I won't beat around the bush. I have very little real exes, but have had many sexual escapades. My entire social circle knows this and I never really cared about it. When I had a boyfriend I was kinda worried. One night at the bar, some drunk guy who didn't realize he was my boyfriend started bringing up a nasty story about me. every one checked my boyfriend for his reaction, but he just laughed it off and seemed fine with hearing it. I was glad, but that kinda gave the go ahead to all the rest of my friends and aquaintances to keep joking about it. A lot of friends have brought up stories in front of my boyfriend about when I was "hoe-ing" and who I was "hoe-ing" with and I just laugh cause I know they don't mean any harm.

Now I came upon some weird things on his laptop. I checked his browser history, and it's full of questions about this stuff. Mainly woriies about what other people think about his girlfriends slutty past and he kinda stalks guys profiles who I have done some dirty things with. Apparently he's even worried whether he has an underlying cuckold fetish.

I really thought he was ok with it. I honestly wished my boyfriend had more than 2 partners since I think a man with more experience is more wanted, but it doesn't bother me that much.
Are most guys ok with hearing sexual escapades of their girlfriends? And girls how is it to hear that about your boyfriend?
I'm totally fine with
Vote A
I wish I didn't hear it, but I'll get over it
Vote B
It really sucks to be confronted with it
Vote C
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0 3

Most Helpful Guys

  • I have an interest in cuckolding. I've never pursued it in real life as it's risky in many ways and requires trust.

    My first take on reading your scenario is that your boyfriend didn't want to create a scene. That scenario often ends in violence which I'm pretty sure wasn't what you were looking for. Your boyfriend deserves credit for keeping the peace. I guarantee you he didn't appreciate that moment though and you have some accountability here. There were some things you could have said to prevent disrespect. Even if he's wired like I am, very rarely would I tolerate public disrespect without meting out consequences. The odds of you getting dumped would be pretty high. Maybe not right there, again the scene it would create, but certainly by the end of the night. Relationships are built on trust and respect.

    This next part is probably the part you wanted to hear. I would absolutely love to have a girl that identifies as having a slutty past. I would start by sharing some details with him in private after he's already aroused. See if he finds the details arousing. If he's not, stop immediately.

    A handjob while you're talking about your past or fantasing about another man in his ear will turn him on immensely if he has the kink. He will be interested in the details and hearing how you've satisfied other men.

    Personally, I get incredibly competitive with other men and am completely straight. Cuckolding for me revolves around women's pleasure and enhancing it basically.

    I do have a kink for humiliation as well, but a group of women and men laughing would trigger a hostile reaction. I find the idea of a group of women enjoying tales of your sexual exploits in my presence and being amused pretty hot. Having word spread about it though, way too risky.

    If you're lucky enough to have a guy with this kink, there's a very good chance your sex life will be better than most women's, if you don't sabotage your relationship first. Your evening out was a step in the wrong direction from my perspective.

  • As a general rule my sex life is private. My sex life with my girl is private. And I am grossed out if my girl tells me about her past sexual history. It creates a bad image of another guy fucking my girl. thats not cool. and also think about it this way... i started dating a girl and she told me about how she was once on the pill and a guy came inside her... but our relationship was new and I was using a condom. How do you think that made me feel? It is emasculating to hear sex stories if you are dating a chic. its so not cool. And it is not cool to just tell other people about your sex life. the only exception is like your best friend.

    another situation would be if you guys are all drinking around a campfire and everyone is telling the craziest place they have ever had sex or something. then that is one question and an exception. but just getting in detail and spilling all the beans? not cool.

    • Thanks for your honest answer. Hearing you talk about it I do kind of understand it. It's what I hoped not to hear but if that's how you feel than that's how you feel. It's actually exactly that reation that I was affraid my boyfriend was going to have that first time, but he just seemed ok. It's not just that he knows I had a lot of casual sex partners, but indeed the details do not give the nicest image. It's basically about not the most respectful guys fucking me in some pretty respectless ways. Every time Someone starts telling such a story, I think, shit this must be emasculating for him, but I look at my boyfriend and he seems ok. It's just by finding this info on his laptop that it seemed different.

Most Helpful Girls

  • I don't really equate the amount of sexual partners a person has their sexual experience level.
    The reason I say this is because I have been with around 20 different guys.
    They were mostly one night stands, but my boyfriend that I have now is in his early 30's and has only been with 2 women counting me.
    The other woman was a long relationship and they were high school sweethearts apparently.
    My boyfriend doesn't care much about my one night stands, but to be honest it does bother me when he mentions all the sex he had with his ex.
    He's actually had way more sex than me and the amount of time they spent together is what I get jealous about. I wonder if there's anything he didn't already do with her. I feel like he must compare me to her constantly as she was his only other girlfriend.

    • Interesting. The problems most people are worrying about are the numerous sexual partners their partners had before them. It is expected that with all those partners come many experiences. Your concern is a lack of partners in your partner's past, so the depth of that one partner is something you are jealous of. telling each other about those experiences can be interesting, but can also bring up fears and hurt. Maybe we are too open about our pasts instead of just leaving them in the past. When I married I already knew about one guy in my wife's past. He had hurt her while she still had a strong sense of attachment to him. So that relationship had left scars that she was very open with me about. We never discussed any other relationships, so I do not know about any of them, assuming there were others. Our marriage was great. But would it have been if we had decided to bring other relationships into it. I am sure that after years of marriage and trust, we could have discussed most anything about other relationships and been fine. But early in our marriage, there would be more room for questions and fears. So being so open about our pasts could be detrimental. All of that was with a woman I wanted as a life partner. In previous relationships where there was no intent on life commitment, we discussed many facets of our sex lives and it was actually fun to hear about and caused no problems. So the type of relationship we had made the difference in whether our pasts bothered us. As long as he was with her, he may have formed a long term commitment feeling with her and now that he is with you, your past is threatening to him. Just my thoughts on this.

    • @Red_Arrow Yes it's true that I feel more jealousy about the long-term, apparently loving relationship he had with his ex. Don't get me wrong, I had my fun but obviously most of the guys I had sex with weren't guys I wanted to spend my time with. I got to experience many different bodies and the freedom to explore them, but it's really not the same as love he felt for his ex. I've had a few boyfriends myself but none that lasted. According to him they had sex quite often and were very open to experimenting on each other. Sometimes I feel like I can't compete with that, they were so close to each other. I think my boyfriend honestly looks at my various sexual escapades as a waste of time. I don't think he regrets staying with her for so long and I really do hate when he talks about her.

    • Shutting him off from talking about her would turn him off to you. But you can tell him you feel jealous of all that she had with him and ask that he not talk as much about her. And you can use some of what he talks about by making it clear you would like to try some of it with him. He can express his adventures by doing them with you while talking about them. They had sex often and were open to experimenting on each other. Yu don't need to compete with that, just be open to sex often and experimenting. As much as he did with her, there are bound to be many areas they did not get into. Go there. And for exploring bodies, a woman's pussy is a fabulous miracle of beauty, and they are so different from each other. As he explores yours, he will enjoy pleasures he has not had with her. See if any of this helps you with him. Good luck!

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  • This probably isn't super helpful but I love hearing peoples' sex stories and I totally have a cuck fetish. I used to ask my boyfriends to tell me about their exes while they fucked me.

    Just have an open conversation (maybe dont bring up that you found his search history) and ask him if he's uncomfortable talking about it or if he wants to put these things even more out in the open for any reason.

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What Girls & Guys Said

2 24

  • Im generally not attracted to really experienced guys so it was never a major issue. I want to know everything they did and see if i can accept it. If i can't then its a dealbreaker...

  • None of the options are really good ones to pick from. So, I don't bring up my past sexually at all unless I'm asked about it, if anyone else starts talking about it, I tell them to shut the hell up, go away, or I'm going away and they can fuck off and die next time I see them.

    "Friends" joke around, but not at your expense when strangers are involved, especially not how much dick you've gargled. Most especially if you're introducing a SO, those "friends" of yours are trying to make him feel insecure and leave you, if he's attractive or successful, maybe for the chance at a shot themselves. Shot in the dark here, none of them were joking about their own escapades.

    The only thing I'll ask women I get with in relation to the sexual past is if they're clean, and are currently unattached. If they start spontaneously talking about exes, I take it as a comparison, because it is, whether good or bad. I'll ask them to not do so unless there's some trauma or secret they feel the need to unburden that would bring us closer together, rather than pushing us farther apart. Even if it's them saying how much better I am than their ex, it means I'm not being looked at for me, but as a comparison to someone they still feel strongly for in some way. Typically they wind up back with the ex at some point, go figure.

    Women get pretty turned off (pissed off too) when you talk about exes or spend time with them too. Again, you're comparing her to other women, not simply appreciating her for her. Back to the previous, also likely to wind up with that ex again if you did the breaking up and not her. We tend to talk a lot about the things we care about.

    If you've been around and have experience, you should know all this. It's why you went after a guy with less experience, less chance he'll cheat/leave for another woman who's easy to get with because they have a past. You're basically testing how far you can push him and actively trying to get him to leave. I've seen that tactic before too, leave first, or get them to leave before you can really get hurt by it because it'll happen eventually anyway.

    Cut it out, the damage is done, that relationship sounds like it's on a crash course. Just don't do the same in your next one.

    Would you like hearing about all the women he's been with who were better, worse, he loved, had experiences with that you will never have, etc?

  • Even if the stories are in her remote past, I don't want to hear any details. I just want to know that such behavior is her past and not her present.

    • Well, the details are of course the funny part to everyone so sadly those come with the stories.

    • That is the problem with having a colorful past! did anyone ever warn you that you might one day regret your behavior?

    • Yup, yet I was too stuborn and kept sucking off guys who didn't really deserve the pleasure. It took a boyfriend to realize that.

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  • Nope would not want to hear and anyone bringing up specifics about my past or a girlfriends would get thumped, that’s a permission you ask before saying.

    also a girl (or guy) that goes on about her past escapees to their current partner or in their hearing, is just not worth the time of day.

  • For me when I get a girlfriend or have a girlfriend it's not because of her past or the present it's because I like her purpose I cannot control her present I cannot control but I do with her and how I feel about her cuz you and that's because it comes for me if I was to hear nasty stories naughty stories sexy stories that's knowledge it's all good that was yesterday today is today if I was to hear a story and let it affect me that means I would love to be confident in who I am and that just wouldn't work out for me but I'm with the girl and very confident I know who I am what I can do no matter what I heard about her it wouldn't matter because I know I could do better that's why she's with me I would love to hear about your sexual escapades

  • If she's describing something erotic to turn me on I'm OK with it. If she's whining about why I can't be more like her last boyfriend I'm going to suggest she get back with him.

  • I would NOT be ok with it.

    I would be less so ok with it if her friends were bringing it up and laughing it up, since I would find it disrespectful to me, and would have a big issue with you not stepping up and stopping it being that they're your friends.

    I would have 2 choices in his place, 'act' as if I were ok with it or start a fight and cause a scene. Of which, out of respect for you and the fact they were your friends, I'd 'pretend' all was ok. Otherwise, the cops and EMTs would've been called cause someone's going to the hospital.

    .. and in your story, your friends knew that this could be a potential issue.

    Difference here is I would've dropped you like a bad habit afterwards. Not because of your previous experiences, but because you felt it was ok for your friends to disrespect me/us that way to let it continue.

    • Well thanks for being honest, I guess :)

    • I felt this was an honest question and as such you deserved nothing but honesty from my perspective.

    • thanks <3

  • I wouldn't go out with someone that's been around the block in the first place.

    However, if there was a girl I was considering, I'd respect her more if she was honest about her past, rather than lie and pretend she's the virgin Mary.

  • I certainly wouldn't be ok with it, but then again I wouldn't date a girl who had such a sexual history in the first place.

    But this whole thing is rarely an issue, because if a guy does care about his partner's sexual history, then he's not going to date a girl who has much of a sexual history anyway. But if he is willing to date a girl who has a long sexual history, then he has established that he wouldn't be the type to care if it got brought up. Like attracts like. So the problem sorts itself out. The only time it could ever be a problem would be if you lied about who you are.

    • The thing is, not everyone talks about this on a first date. And when you're in love, can you just dump someone for it?

    • Maybe not the first date, but it can be naturally brought up fairly early on in a relationship. And I'm careful not to fall in love with people until I know enough about them to determine our compatibility. So yes, I would be perfectly comfortable breaking it off with a girl after finding out she doesn't meet my preferences. It's better for her too, because she should be with someone that isn't bothered by her past. We'd both just be miserable together.

  • Wouldn't mind one bit. I am a person who gets jealous of other's guys easy. But only when she is committed to me all her stuff she did beforehand i don't mind knowing. And yeah everyone knowing she's had many sexual experiences don't bother me either. Hell one of my ex's liked the attention of everyone knowing, didn't bother me.

  • I've never had a girlfriend who had a sexual history before me. But the idea of hearing dirty stories of how a girl had sex with other guys, what she did and how she enjoyed it, makes me hard. I would love to hear the details!

    • Hope my boyfriend feels the same

  • You’ll either need to find a very confident man or a man who has a similarly colorful past. My girlfriend had sexual experience with a more people than I did, but it hasn’t been an issue for us at all and it isn’t something that makes me feel insecure.

  • As long as what was said is true.
    I can be a fool at times and laugh about it.

  • I have no desire to hear about that keep it to yourself and in the past where it belongs.

  • Completely okay with me, but I think that happens more naturually like you mention when both partners have similar sexual experiences.

    The first girlfriend I ever had these kind of conversations with, we were both sleeping with other people before we finally had sex together :) So this became a precursor to our friendship, it was built on sexual escapades.

  • Once a whore
    Always a whore

    • thanks for the reminder

  • That's part of our foreplay... her telling me raunchy dirty stories from her past.
    I want to hear all about every single adventure she's ever had and the ones she missed out on...

  • If I had a girlfriend, I'd be fine with hearing things like who she had sex with before me, but I just wouldn't care for details, they put images in my head, which I just don't like. But I'd get over it.

    • Well, the details are of course the funny part to everyone so sadly those come with the stories.

    • Yeah, that's a shame.

  • Only if they involve me.

  • I honestly don't care but if she likes talking about it i would definitely listen or join in

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