Was I too harsh?

[KennethNoisewater]

I have been hanging out with the chick for 3 weeks or so and we were talking last night about life, covid and then after a while sex. I brought up oral sex and very very casually mentioned that she hasn't gave me head. When I very casually brought it to her attention, I did it in a half jokingly way just so she didn't feel like I was pressuring her. And she in a less jokingly way said she hates doing it and she gave up even trying it years ago. It definitely changed the vibe in the room.

She stayed last night and we both worked this morning. She called me about her lunch time to casually talk and I could feel the "so what are you up to tonight?" Question coming and before she could get too much out I told her it's just not gonna work between us. Que awkward silence. Finally I got off the phone without incident.

My question is was I too harsh? I just don't feel like even pretending to be having fun at that point. Don't get me wrong, she was a pretty cool person. that was really my one and only complaint. I feel if that's completely off the table then that gives me the opportunity to go find it elsewhere and that's just not right. I am not that person. But what's a guy suppose to do? My answer was panic and bail.

[OrdinaryDaniel]

I think you made the right decision on being honest with her. It is bad to be in a fake relationship where you pretend to like each other. It would lead to cheating, fighting, etc. However, I think maybe you could have talked to her about it more. Tell her that you like her a lot that you want to be sexual with her and that you don't feel happy in a relationship without it. Maybe she would have changed her mind I don't know. You did make the right decision in the end.

[KennethNoisewater]

We were sexual. We really were not hanging out for too long but our sex life was definitely steady. She just didn't want anything to do with oral. I don't judge a relationship strictly on sex either. I'm quite the opposite. I'm not constantly thinking about it and I'm not always trying to make moves to get someone naked. But to take a blowjob away from me is where the line was crossed. I don't blame anything on her nor will I talk shit about her. She's pretty amazing. But if things got serious for one reason or another I would hate for a year or two to pass and decide I need a blowjob that day. I probably wouldn't even ask her to do it. I would venture off and find it one way or another. And as soon as it was over, I would feel absolutely terrible. I would hate knowing I did that to her. I couldn't handle that. I figure I can be a forgivable piece of shit for this now rather than a unforgivable sack of shit later.

[ChocoBrowny]

She is selfish "Having no regard for the needs or feelings of others."
The most likely is that the selfish person is not going to change. Maybe she is not even aware of her own selfishness, or even interested in being aware of it. So, the recommendation is to get away.

[sofey-02]

I don’t think it’s being selfish not everyone likes having sex or oral sex doesn’t mean they are selfish they probably have a reasoning to that

[loves2learn]

She probably had a bad experience. I think you should have talked to her more about it. She might be willing to try again.

[Jamie05rhs]

You never officially asked her, though. You didn't even give her a chance to decline YOUR dick.

[bullforcucks]

If you want head and she won't give it just move on. No point in compromise if its what you need.