Ok that's not always the case, for me when I was married I would come home I would be horny she would be at work, or would be the weekend she was at work I would be horny so I can watch p*** masturbate and then with it
I so this is what I see with you guys. first of all you're still really young I mean teenager really, is your husband getting a beer belly, does he just want to sit around and watch TV it really is not motivated, it means that he's out of shape it means that he's being lazy so he would rather watch p*** sit still can get off, to be honest he's being selfish is only thinking of himself.. he has learned that it is easier to sit there and watch p*** then to get up off his butt you have a good workout make love session with you that's pretty sad especially a to z age somehow you need to get his ass back in shape if you can get him back in shape believe me to start bouncing off of you at night time again but it's just too much of a workout for him so he's taking the easy way out
Usually, after a period of 3-4 years, the honeymoon period is fading away because couples know their partner inside out and want (or need) to try out something new.
There are a lot of factors that could be the cause of his behavior, one of which is stress at work or at home. Confinement will result in more divorces in the future because people are obliged to be with each other when they need a break from a 24/7 presence.
Also, at age 37, he may have started his mid-life crisis or have the beginning of andropause where regular sexual intercourse with the same partner is becoming more of a chore than pleasure.
Fact is that he is cheating on you emotionally since he manipulates his body, probably thinking of other women rather than you when doing it.
If counseling is not an issue for him, then I suggest you prepare a list of topics you feel both of you have an issue with and besides each item, you bring a reply that you think would help the situation. Then ask him to do a similar list, independent from yours, and also to write down how he sees improvement.
Then you sit together and attempt to find a consensus, bearing in mind that none of you should be angry or upset. That would falsify the outcome and rather than to help, this would only make things worse. Also, trying to impose one's view onto the other is not the right solution because the one or the other is under pressure to act on that imposition. Good luck.
And that's the messed up part. We didn't have a honeymoon. I was 3 months pregnant when we got married. I'm trying to talk him into having a threesome with me but he is just so tired (his words).
I don't want to interfere in your marriage because it is none of my business but a threesome bears more dangers than it solves problems. Think of all that can go wrong from the extremely high risk of STD/STI, to the potential physical cheating in addition to the emotional one and to the risk of him having feelings for the other person. That would not only be totally counterproductive but it would also kill you emotionally and then you would start this downward spiral into a possible depression.
We have had sex with another couple in the room with us. I made out with the girl as our husbands were fucking us from behind. He is totally cool with it but it's like he is always making an excuse.
men can soon get tired of the same things, like women we need things to spice things up, have you tried wear sexy things around,
I do most of the time. I dance for him, play with him, talk dirty to him, tease him, and try and take it when i want it.
yes but men still like to see other women doing things, I bet and lets ask the men, if your wife partner of a few years was sat at two different seat well apart and were crossing their legs and showing their knickers occasional which would draw your attention
A lot of the time it's just stress from life that gets people down and they don't try so hard to show their partner they want sex, even though they do.
In my last relationship, this is what happened. She wanted sex all the time, but she wouldn't try and tease me or build up to sex. It felt like she just expected me to take her right then and there. But because she was always anxious about work and life, she seemed to be "emotional" (and I am not making that up, she has anxiety and depression) and I didn't want to be like "oh it's okay you won't get fired... now let's have sex." That would just be fucked up, and make me look like a typical man and I hate that.
So then I would just resort to porn and yes I would masturbate to it every time.
That's the part I don't get. I send him nudes while he is at work. I walk around the house almost naked. I tease him and play with him but he is always tired. He has time for himself but not me. That is what I don't understand.
I respect your attempts. I wish I had that when I was in a relationship. Have you tried jumping on his lap and kissing him regardless of what he is doing?
Yes I have and sadly, he says "Really? Right now? Can't this wait until later? I'm watching TV babe."
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What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!He's probably addicted. Watching porn everyday is excessive and damaging to the brain.
You should talk to him about him possibly being addicted and taking action to stop his porn habit.
You have to have a line, at which point do you think you're willing to walk out and leave with your kids?
Whatever point that is, verbalize it to him. That should serve as a sort of warning, if he continues take it up a notch, grab your kids and stay at a relative for a while and return on the condition that he seeks help.
I have tried doing that and telling him how i feel about it and he doesn't seem to care. His excuse is that he isn't hurting himself or anybody else so why does it matter what he does.
Well you have to have a line. If you don't have a line he's going to continue indefinitely and you'll still be asking this question 10, 20 years from now. You have the power to inspire change in him, berating him and asking him hasn't worked, time to take it up a notch or suffer in silence.
Guys often get off on beating their meat to a slut. Guys usually think of porn performers as sluts. Most guys have a hard time thinking of their wives as sluts.
Maybe because you've become routine and boring? Your vagina is like having sex with a dead mans hand?
Seriously. if you feel he has a problem, then talk to him. Don't just rely on strangers for personal issue resolution.
Maybe he has kinks your not into and porn relieves sexual frustration. Or he might be bored of sex, or have opposite sexual interests (one might need the other to be kinky when they are conservative/vanilla).
Tough question since I lost interest in sex with my wife, also, but mainly because she did not orgasm with me and claimed she did not masturbate either. I would see a good marriage counselor (women) and get her input.
Seems to me, that he has replaced you with a computer. You say you’ve been married 11 years. with
Children as well? Please don’t answer! But has your sex life as in what you DO been the same for
11 years too? If so, or not for that matter a "Change up" may just do the trick! Find out what he’s been watching on the computer. Go from there.
Your husband may be in a rut and may see you more as a mother to the children rather than someone to be romantic with. Porn could be an escape for him or it could be an addiction. Could he be having an affair? I suggest telling him you would like the two of you to work together on rekindling the passion. You've probably worked through other challenges in the marriage, so this should be no different. If it's difficult for the two of you to openly discuss this sort of thing, you may want to suggest going for couple's counselling.
They have to come up with something new when getting together their partner.
But porn it's just masturbating is the hardest thing to do
My guess is that it's probably a convenience thing. Masturbating is quicker, and stress free. I should say that I'm not married. But, I know that the reason I prefer porn over real women is because the frustration, stress, attitude, cost, and general heartache of dealing with real women isn't worth the meh sexual performance she's likely to give. With porn, it's free and I can get pretty much exactly what I need in that moment. It's really sad that I'm even thinking this way, but there's nothing complicated about porn. It's tough to justify dealing with real women when the aggravation is so high.
It wouldn't be so bad if this didn't just happen all of a sudden. 2 months ago we were having sex 3 or 4 times a week. Now since he has started watching porn more I get it once a week. I have to beg sometimes. He is just always tired or his phone/tv is more important.
To me that sounds like a stress or sexual satisfaction thing. There's something that isn't sitting well with him, and he might not even be good enough touch with himself to know what that is. It's probably NOT a you problem, so just take a bit of comfort in that. I think you need to sit down with him and really have a genuinely conversation about what's going on, because sex is always the first thing to go when the communication goes. You have valid sexual needs that aren't being satisfied, but you can't approach this conversation from that standpoint. You have to say "okay, what can I do, as your wife, to prevent this external thing from impacting our bedroom?" Don't be pushy, but also don't be passive either. Because what you are feeling is a result of the disconnect that he's feeling and it's very real.
Thank you
You are what is commonly called a 'porn-widow'. He would rather jerk off to porn than be with his lovely wife.
Yes, you have a porn-addict as a husband. Sick, depraved, ignorant, and delusional.
What are you going to do to fix it?
I have 2 choices. I'm gonna have to get over it or leave him. He won't admit that he has a problem and won't go to marriage counseling with me or do anything about his problem. He tells me that he isn't hurting anybody and nothing is wrong with what he is doing. I'm tired of begging for his time and attention. 2 months ago we were have sex 3 or 4 times a week. Now I'm lucky if I can get some 1 time a week. I'm just at a loss at what to do because I do love my husband.
That's a tough situation. And yes, he's addicted, so the first step in recovery is admitting he has a problem. This is what I know as the solution... You sit him down for an adult conversation. You explain that jerking off to porn when you have a perfectly suitable wife at hand is not only unacceptable, but depraved and sick. You tell him you'll make a deal with him... he stops with the porn and makes you his sole outlet for sex. If he wants to get his rocks off he comes to you. You promise to never say 'no'. A quickie, a bj, a handy, whatever it takes - but YOU become his sexual outlet. Or you're leaving him. You'll soon find out what his priorities are. And you have to be willing to actually leave. At some point he'll either wake up and smell the roses, or he'll resign himself to jerking off instead of being married.
i guess cause their wives let themself go.
Some do. The ones that give a shit, like me, don't. I get where you are coming from. But why though? If I was a man and had a fresh piece of ass, pussy, and mouth on tap I would be going to town. You know what I'm sayin?
i mean i get beating off to porn occasionally while in a relationship/marriage. but preferring that is a problem.
It's because porn is not a neutral thing. Despite what the culture is screaming, porn is destructive and addictive. It literally rewires your brain to get turned on by the porn and not by a real-life woman. Your husband has a psychological and physical problem that he is dealing with, and he needs help.
There's a lot of resources online and I think you need to start educating yourself before you ever talk to him. You need to know how to bring this up, how to discuss it, how to support him through it. He needs to be able to be shown that it actually is a problem and you need to know how to do that
Because there is low sexual excitment at home. Have you two spiced things up over the years, in any way?
Are you and he in decent shapes?
I am. He is a truck driver. I walk around our home almost naked, touch him, tease him, dance with him. We have had sex with another couple in the same room. The female and I have been together while we were all in the same room. He can do whatever he wants to me. I am always more than willing to try something once.
Well my wife barely wants to do more than cuddle anymore, but that doesn't seem like your situation. If he is still affectionate to you and enjoys being around you, and you are both happy, he probably just knows how to pleasure himself more than you do. Have you asked him about it? Not with a complaining or nagging tone, but with genuine curiosity and affection.
He isn't really affectionate anymore. I do good to get a hug and kiss before he sits in his recliner. I have asked him numerous times about it and I always get the same answer. "Why do you care so much? I'm not hurting myself or anybody else so what's the big deal?"
He likes the variety in porn and the young girls are sexy to him. Why do you only have sex once a week?
We have sex when he feels like it. I don't watch porn and I don't masturbate. All I want is him.
Why don’t you masturbate, surly you get turned on or get horny.
I do and i stay that way all the time. I don't like the way it feels. I want the real thing.
It might be a trust issue. But it is clearly an issue in the relationship. Because it sounds like you are an amazing wife!
I myself watch porn though married with a pretty and sexy girl. But we both watch together. I believe watching porn together strengthens the bond.
There are billions of porn videos and genres out there, you can basically find anything you could want to. The bedroom gets boring if it's the same thing, all the time. Find out what kind of porn he likes and you should suggest that you do it together
He’s become addicted to porn and he probably does jerk off to it everyday. Marriage counseling would be a good idea.
I would love to but he doesn't want to.
I’m sorry to hear that, and I feel for you.
you could always watch it with him to turn him on but no. You rather bitch and whine about it to nag him to an early grave
I have watched it with him before and gave him head while he was watching it. 2 months ago we were fucking like rabbits. He started watching porn everyday and masturbating and now I get the dick once a week when he feels like it. I walk around my house half naked, I play with him, I tease him, and I dance for him. There is always an excuse to why he don't feel like fucking.
you have to keep doing that. show him physically that you're too horny for him that you need to get fucked and there is nothing he can do to get away with it. Tell him something like "show me how you want to fuck those porn sluts" anything that will show him you're confident and that at the end of the day if he doesn't want to fuck you somebody else will because you're the prise here.
And honestly, I don't nag him about it. I have told him numerous times that I want the same amount of attention that he is giving to himself. If I got off as much as he did, I probably wouldn't be so sexually frustrated. I watch porn with him but I don't masturbate at all. I want the real thing and he can put it wherever he wants and he knows that. What is so addicting about porn? I don't fucking get it!
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