Should I just give up on men?

[Arabella_Rose]

I'm 25 years old, never had a boyfriend. I've had many guys fall in love with me but I never returned their feelings. I have spent years online dating, with no luck. There were a few times in my life where I did meet someone I had potential of falling for. But they were either old and married, or divorced and with kids, or had personality issues and didn't like me back. I honestly am too old to have never experienced any romance in my life. And worst of all, it is my dream to have a family and children. I don't want to spend the rest of my life dying alone without family. And the idea of raising children all on my own is a difficult feat. I don't know if i can take the stress of raising all my kids on my own.

I have given up on dating over the past year, I've had a lot of fwbs or casual sex relationships to fill the void of lack of affection. But honestly, the sex usually SUCKS and I get no pleasure from having sex with them, as none of them enjoy foreplay. A lot of them have no foreplay skills since they're selfish and impatient.

I'm just at my wits end with men. Romantic life is non existent. Sex life is terrible. I just don't know how much longer I want to wait to get married. I just want kids, I never imagined that men will be such a waste of time.

Should I just go into an arraigned marriage and have a family? I am completely FED UP

[Anonymous]

Are you sure you’re going about finding a man in the best way?

Agreed there are plenty of inept and selfish guys when it comes to sex. Agreed there are many guys who only want sex from you or any other woman. But I think there are plenty of guys who find enjoyment and take pride in pleasing their partner sexually and want to have a family. (I know I’m not the only one.)

I’m not sure how you’re going about this, but maybe switch up how you find men or reconsider how you go about selecting them. 24 is too old not to have experienced real romance and far too young to give up.

[Arabella_Rose]

I don't have until 40 to start a family. Sure romance can come any time in life but dating gets more difficult as you get older. As I'm getting older, i expect more people to be taken or married. When you enter your 40s, you will find that many people simply do not have the time to date because they are usually single parents with young children who need a lot of care.

[Opinion Owner]

Fertility and advanced age are your issues? You’re 25! What I’m saying is that you seem to have had no lack of men who find you attractive. If they’re not the ones who want to settle down or they’re not who you’d consider Mr. Right, maybe you’re considering the wrong men altogether. You didn’t mention how you meet men, but maybe that is the problem. Or maybe you’re committing the classic woman’s mistake of having sex to “seal the deal”. I don’t know and there’s no judgment coming from me, but if you haven’t gotten the results you want with your current approach, maybe that’s what needs to change.

[Arabella_Rose]

its definitely possible for a woman to have kids at 40. My mother had me at 37 and my brother at 40. We still turned out fine but I have seen a lot of consequences of having kids late in life , such as , delayed retirement, less fulfilling childhood for the kids to be raised by too old parents. I really don't want to be 50 years old and still have to bear the burden of raising a few rowdy misbehaving little kids. I don't know if i will even have the energy for it by that age. 25 might be young. But I am expecting most of my peers to be married in just a few years by the time the hit 30. It won't be long before everyone will be married around me.

[Opinion Owner]

I had kids at the same age as your mom. I grant you all that. But the issue here is finding the right guy, no? How can you maximize your chances of finding the type of guy you want? Are your standards realistic? Are guys your own age too immature for you? What’s your work and social situation? Have you tried dating services that are for more successful and driven people, or just hookup apps?

[Arabella_Rose]

I am only attracted to a few personality traits that VERY FEW people have. I like genuinely funny guys, witty, outgoing, vivacious energy. But its so few to find such guys. And on the miraculous occasions that I do end up encountering such guys, they either have other severe character issues or they don't like me back. I can't get along with people with character issues such as any sort of manipulativeness, dishonesty, immaturity, or folks who play the blame game, deeply insecure people who cannot admit it when they are wrong, guys who don't hold any conversation skills. Believe it or not, these issues that I have listed above are extremely common amongst people. It just irritates me. I can definitely try to tolerate it but I just know that eventually i will end up blowing up. 25 is definitely still young. Most of my peers are still single and without kids. But I expect this to change within the next 5 years when everyone hits 30. Soon everyone will be dating or engaged , I will end up being the only one in the social circle being single with nobody to date. Of course my physical attractiveness will also take a down turn as I get older. I'm not expecting myself to attract tons of men by 35 vs 25. Online dating hadn't worked, I have quit online dating to be honest. I have been loved by many men but could never ever love back. Since covid hit, I haven't been going out to meet guys within the past 2 years. But going out to meet guys, hoping that I will find love , just feels like looking for a miracle to happen on an ordinary day. Usually it doesn't happen, I'm just looking for a miracle.

[Arabella_Rose]

I have considered becoming a single mom to 2 kids. But the life time duty of raising kids all by myself seems extremely daunting, especially since I have to work a full time job. Sharing the duty of child rearing with a husband will really make things easier and give me more sanity. But I'm not only interested in partnering up with someone to make raising kids easier. I'm also looking for FAMILY. I don't have a lot of siblings so I really won't have anyone that I can rely on, once my parents die. I want family that I know I can trust to take care of me or have my back if anything bad happens to me. Just by having kids with a man, it really won't mean I can rely on him to be there for me if anything bad happens. This is why I want marriage.

[Opinion Owner]

Huh. A witty, extroverted guy who’s not a dick doesn’t sound like a huge ask. I don’t think you need a miracle, tbh. It’s just going to be a lot of frustrating work. I believe you when you say how common the negative traits are. Do you live in a large metropolitan area? If not, could you move to one? That could help expose you to more candidates. Do you have a job working with the public? That could help in the same way.

[Opinion Owner]

You sound grounded and totally reasonable. (Very unusual for gag.) I think you’ll be fine. You’re going to get what you want. Family is important. It’s just… work. Sorry you’ve been so frustrated.

[Arabella_Rose]

I'm looking for more than an extroverted guy. I'm looking for funny , humorous, witty. Very few guys are actually funny. I live in NYC but I'm thinking about relocating to the south , within a year or two. Right now, I am just planning on an arraigned marriage with a rich man. If I can't find love then I should at least try to find money right? Eliminating money problems will really help give me a smoother ride raising my kids. Problem is I really don't like living in NYC, but it is in this city where all the wealthy men are. If I head down south, there would be way more poor than rich men. Right now I will be setting up posters around wall street for arraigned marriage. Once I hit 30 and if I'm still single, I will just marry him and start a family. I know it sounds quite early but dating doesn't get better as you get older. I know of many single men in their 30s with no dating action at all, after their 20s.

[Opinion Owner]

Good luck!

[Arabella_Rose]

Best time to date and find someone is to do it in your 20s to early 30s. This is the prime time.

[Opinion Owner]

Agreed, but I doubt you need to do something as rash as doing an arranged marriage. It just takes work to find the right guy. I wish you the very best!

[modelUN242]

So you played with men’s hearts, you’re basically a whore who slept her way to the top presumably? You had many guys fall in love with you but you used them and left them hanging. Wow, what a great quality! Yeah, no man wants a whore. You’re not wife material because you’re SELFISH. Why haven’t you had a boyfriend? But you do casual hook-ups? Seriously? No wonder you’re broken.

I’m so glad I kept my virginity because I totally don’t want my pair bonding to be damaged. I know girls my age who are already complaining about losers pumping and dumping them and “there are no good guys“. So, you blame the guys for the bad sex? Well, what if they’re inexperienced and you have already experienced BBC in you so that’s not fair 😂.

[Arabella_Rose]

no men would date without sex nowadays. Just letting you know

[modelUN242]

Those men are trash! I met many guys who’d wait until marriage to have sex. Good men won’t demand for sex right away.

[Arabella_Rose]

I can tell you that over 90% of men do not date without sex nowadays. so most men will not date you.

[modelUN242]

Good I wouldn’t want to date those losers anyways, I have better standards. Sorry, but the test driving the car is absolute bullshit.

[Abtraction]

yep, if there's no sex then what's the point?

[modelUN242]

@Abtraction If there's no sex that means you can bond over something deeper. You do know that sex clouds your judgement on the other person, making them even seem better than they actually are. The sexual revolution has created many problems in relationships and have caused divorce to be more prevalent.

[Abtraction]

I agree with that, but sex for men is different. Men don't bond with sex, women do.

[Arabella_Rose]

@modelun242 You're not going to have a lot of choices / guys to pick from , if you're not gonna have sex. You're likely going to be forced to settle for some guy because you don't have many dating options.

[modelUN242]

My boyfriend is waiting until marriage and I talked to many guys who'd wait.

[Abtraction]

she gonna have to wait a good 5-7 years for a guy willing to get married, and that's a dying breed these days.

[modelUN242]

@Abtraction Nope, we're waiting for a year and a bit. The waiting part is good because it weeds out the bs that would lead to a divorce. We can talk on a deeper level. Sorry, but I don't want sex to cloud my judgement on someone.

[Abtraction]

that's great, I hope it all works out. I would like to point out, most of the divorces are filed by women, women who lost the bonding.

[modelUN242]

@Abtraction Thanks, he's very paranoid about divorce and I had to convince him I'd never do that. I understand how bad divorce is for men.

[Arabella_Rose]

@modelun242 if you're waiting a year and a half, you are still losing your virginity prior to marriage. Good luck if you do end up breaking up with this boyfriend of yours

[modelUN242]

Umm we're planning to get married and then having sex, hopefully, so far it's going good.

[Arabella_Rose]

@modelun242 you're gonna get married only after a year and a half? thats pretty quick. make sure its the right guy you're marrying

[modelUN242]

Haha yeah, I've been dating for marriage for a year or even more than that. I know people in my church club get married young as well.

[Arabella_Rose]

Studies have proven that many people who get married early tend to get divorced later in life.

[Abtraction]

Studies have also shown that women with only 1 sexual partner have the best chance of long term marriage. It's mostly women who end the marriage. She's a smart girl, well beyond her years. My only advice is to make sure your man has prospects, decent job, and maybe wait a bit before having kids. Make sure you're secure somewhat. Nobody is ever fully ready or prepared for kids though.

[Arabella_Rose]

@Abtraction of course. she never got to explore better options. she's only stuck to 1 man her entire life. Its kinda like only eating vanilla ice cream her entire life then saying its the best flavor. Just wait until she find out how amazing rocky road ice cream is. It will blow her mind. The more options she explores, she will discover there are better men out there than her husband.

[Abtraction]

you just proved my point. You never found the better man, you gave-up on all of them. There's potentially always someone better, but that goes both ways, as you are finding out.

[Arabella_Rose]

@Abtraction I don't believe in only tasting vanilla, and never having tasted any other flavor so now you think vanilla is the best option out there. I believe in being allowed to explore all options and flavors to see which you like best. Personally i think its dumb and wrong to do that.

[Abtraction]

that's why you're alone, unmarried, and no kids. I didn't see any self reflection in your post, no accountability. What would you rather have now? Rocky-road ice cream or a family?

[modelUN242]

@Abtraction Yeah, we'd probably wait a bit before having kids. And yes, I have educated myself a lot of divorce statistics and how feminism ruined relationships for many years.

[modelUN242]

You do know, that if you have one partner for life, you'd have much more sex compared to those who have dated multiple people but having less sex. Plus, you can explore each other's kinks and know how to pleasure the other, that's how you grow together. Sorry, but I couldn't be with someone who's selfish in not knowing how to pleasure me because he's been with other women.

[Arabella_Rose]

@Abtraction Its not hard for me to close my eyes and marry absolutely any guy who I don't even love. But I prefer to shop around and look for true love before I marry. It's the preferred thing to do for a more satisfying marriage. Anyone can just close their eyes and marry absolutely anyone. Its not hard to do.

[Arabella_Rose]

@modelun242 Its the people who are sexually experienced that have the most amazing sex. You can't be good at sex , if you never had sex.

[Arabella_Rose]

@modelun242 And the most frightening thing about not having sex before marriage, you might marry someone who you're sexually incompatible with. For example, if your husband has a much higher sex drive than you. He wants to have sex all the time but you don't. Or if the kinky stuff that he is into, you do not like. Or if you end up finding out that your husband is a selfish lover, only after the first time you both have sex. This is why its always good to see if you're sexually compatible with a man that you married. If you married a man you're sexually incompatible with, you will just have to suck it up and deal with the problems for the rest of your life.

[Abtraction]

didn't you just complain about you sex life? Who are you to give advice? anyone can learn to have good sex, it's not rocket science. Women like you may eventually marry, get bored, screw some other guy and divorce-rape some poor guy and ruin their family and kids.

[Arabella_Rose]

@Abtraction I think that by marrying your first boyfriend, you are really restricting yourself on enjoying life. I think that everyone deserves the best marriage experience. And you get the best marriage experience, by being able to shop around and pick the best man to marry. Don't settle for a "good man" to marry. Go for the best one. Its kinda like buying sofas. You don't want the sales person to force you to buy the first chair that you see in the store. You want the salesperson to allow you to sit multiple different sofas , so that you can pick the best sofa that you want to buy. Sure all sofas are comfortable to sleep in. But why would you restrict yourself to 1 sofa?

[Abtraction]

women don't decide who to marry, the men do. the best man hasn't chosen you. The best man may not want you, a good man may. my guess is you don't deserve a good man.

[Arabella_Rose]

@Abtraction "women don't decide who to marry, the men do." This alone proves your lack of ethics and morality. why should anyone listen to you, if you obviously have no morals?

[Abtraction]

it's pretty apparent I have better morals than you. marriage rate has plummeted, and it's because men choose not to marry. It's only rational these days with all the risks and the kind of women these days.

[modelUN242]

Umm hello? "I've had a lot of fwbs or casual sex relationships to fill the void of lack of affection. But honestly, the sex usually SUCKS and I get no pleasure from having sex with them, as none of them enjoy foreplay. A lot of them have no foreplay skills since they're selfish and impatient."

[modelUN242]

We already talked about this, our sex drives are pretty high. And I will compromise because marriage is not being selfish. And you did shop around but found those guys were selfish lovers? I don't want to experience better, I'd be satisfied with one person because there's no one else that I can compare to. Also, the other person wouldn't feel insecure but you having e. g. bigger dicks than them or having done kinky things that you wouldn't do with your own husband.

[modelUN242]

And I have to settle for a "good man". I have a huge fear of being cheated on. I think cheating is extremely disrespectful. And by being overwhelmed by many sofas, you'll be spending all day in that store. Sorry, but I like things done quick and efficient. If I find someone I like, I will put my energy into that one person instead of shopping around and talking about surface-level stuff. And if you're planning on doing an arranged marriage, you do know the history of them? The parents would choose the suitors and they didn't have years to decide. It was sometimes done in a couple of days.

[modelUN242]

@Abtraction Exactly, the men should be choosing because of how feminism have made things difficult. The woman has more leverage in a marriage but the man does in a relationship or friends with benefits, etc.

[Arabella_Rose]

@Abtraction You don't have morals because you're basically saying that a woman should not have the right to marry the man that she wants. If you are unethical enough to say something like this, then nothing else you say will prove that you are moral. Only a misogynist would say something like that. A very bad person who doesn't care about how women feel.

[Arabella_Rose]

@modelun242 hun, you don't have to worry about me. Because when I marry, I will definitely find a man who is sexually compatible with my sexuality. On the other hand, you will end up marrying someone who you might not be sexually compatible with because you both refused to have sex prior to marriage. So if your husband ends up being the wrong sexual fit for you, you will just need to suck it up. Being stuck in a marriage with crappy sex life is more likely to be you than me. At least I can eliminate guys that are a bad sexual fit. You can't.

[Abtraction]

men show their commitment by providing, women show it with monogamy. when a woman cheats it's emotional, when a man cheats it's physical. sex is different for men and women. That said I was married for 17 years, I never cheated even though I had opportunities with some very sexy gals. It's hard for men to turn down sex, but easy for women, they do it all the time.

[Arabella_Rose]

@Abtraction Of course when women cheat , it is emotional. You are basically saying that all women should not have the right to pick the man they want to marry. How can you not emotionally cheat, if she married a man that she did not want to marry?

[modelUN242]

Sexual compatibility is a total lie. Explain people who have been married like forever and only had each other? I met so many old folks like that. Sexual incompatibility happens when you don't love the other person very much. Plus, you talk about sexual dysfunctions before marriage if that's an issue. You have to ask the right questions.

[Abtraction]

jeez you're a lost soul. Men are biologically built to have sex, spread their seed. Women are biologically design to bond to help ensure a man stays around to help while she is pregnant and provide. if you're out screwing every man, no man has faith it's his offspring, therefore will not stick around.

[Arabella_Rose]

@modelun242. Sexual incompatibility will exist regardless of how much you love each other. Your husband wants to use anal beads, you have anal beads. Your husband wants a submissive woman in bed. You don’t like being submissive. Your husband likes to pull your hair during sex , you hate being your hair pulled. Your husband has kinky desires such as slapping and pain teasing during sex, you find it super weird. Your husband wants to have sex every 2 days, you want to have sex once a week. These differences WILL happen regardless of how much you love each other. Once the intense honeymoon phase fades and life starts to settle in, you will find these problems start to appear larger and larger.,

[Arabella_Rose]

@modelun242. And you can’t know what you like or dislike during sex unless you have had sex and been physical with a man. you can’t say you enjoy anal sex , if you have no idea what it feels like.

[Arabella_Rose]

@Abtraction this has no relation to your prior statement on how women should have no right to pick the husbands they want to marry. Nothing else you say will ever hold any validity due to your lack of morals / judgement

[modelUN242]

@arabella_rose So anal beads and slapping are determining factors whether you're sexually compatible? What happens when you guys grow old and there's no sex drive between the two? What happens if one gets into an accident and their sexual organs don't work. Marriage is sacrifice and the "Til Death Do Us Part" stands firm. And pretty sure most women are submissive in bed if the guy is dominant, and they like it. Why do women like "Fifty Shades of Gray"?

[Abtraction]

lmao, my morals are far above yours. you can't even be honest. I said men choose to marry, not women. The proof is the marriage rate, lowest in 118 years. You're just mad because people have pointed out your bs. Maybe you should look in the mirror, do some self reflection, take some accountability for your actions.

[modelUN242]

@arabella_rose When you lost it the first time with a guy, you had no idea what you liked either, and from that point on, you kept getting frustrated and used to every kink or sexual act that you've done. As mentioned in your post, you're totally unsatisfied after having all sorts of cock in you. At least with the first guy you lost it with, you'd probably found it amazing.

[Arabella_Rose]

@modelun242 ok so you will stay in a marriage even if you know clearly you aren’t happy? Maybe you would , but I doubt most people will stay in a marriage that is as stale and unfulfilling as eating tasteless oatmeal or stable bread. You’re a Virgin so you might not know this but sex is a very important part of a marriage / relationship. If you both are sexually incompatible , the marriage will not be as happy or fulfilling as you expected. You just sound angry at the idea that you may very well marry a man who you’re sexually incompatible with

[Arabella_Rose]

@Abtraction women can very well pick their own husbands today, we are no longer seeing old great grandfathers marrying 18 yr old girls, as which was done in the past

[Abtraction]

ehh, are you slow? You can choose a man, but you can't make him marry you or stick around.

[Arabella_Rose]

@Abtraction only someone like you would pick a woman but have a hard time keeping her

[Abtraction]

I was married for over 17 years, I kicked her to the curb. When are you gonna stop and look at yourself, guessing you can't do that because you don't like what you see.

[modelUN242]

@arabella_rose You can't measure sexual compatibility if you're with one person only. And unhappy marriages statistically happen if you have more partners. So you'd be more likely to be unhappy than me just because you're so damn picky.

[modelUN242]

@arabella_rose You're the angry one, you're so jaded. Plus, the older you are, the more bitter you are, especially for women.

[Abtraction]

she's a lost cause. she refuses to take responsibility, she prefers to play victim.

[modelUN242]

@arabella_rose Women have always been able to pick their husbands, they're called suitors. Except they weren't that picky. And back then, premarital sex wasn't common. If you want a man to marry you, he needs to see what you have to offer, it shouldn't be a slave situation.

[Arabella_Rose]

@modelun242 Nobody is a virgin prior to marriage nowadays. NOBODY! The only people who abstain from sex prior to marriage usually are religious, marry extremely early in life, and marry to create family rather than for the ultimate romance of their lives. Religious people divorce less because they have lower expectations of marriage (as you mentioned that you will stay married to a husband is sexually incompatible, lets be honest right now. how could anyone stay happy not having their sexual needs fulfilled?) As you also mentioned before, you're not even looking for the "best man" to marry. You are just looking to settle for a "good man" to marry. You're not looking for the best romantic experience of your life. You're just looking for a husband to create a family. You have very low expectations of marriage. You are the type who would marry , just for the sake of getting married. You will stay in a boring , unfulfilling marriage just for the sake of calling yourself "married". People who are not religious, have sex before marriage, they leave unfulfilling marriages where their basic needs are not met. You would stay in a marriage where there is no sex, no cuddling, no intimacy. But how many people would be willing to stay in a marriage like that? Non religious people divorce more because they have higher expectations of marriage. Not because sex prior to marriage distorts or clouds your judgment about someone.

[Arabella_Rose]

@Abtraction you're clearly a misogynist. nobody who respects women would ever say that only men pick women. but women can't pick men. you clearly are not a decent person. I'm not surprised your wife dumped you

[Arabella_Rose]

@modelun242 If you love someone, you know you love someone. Sex cannot make you love someone. Sex can definitely make you lust after someone. But you can NEVER fall in love simply due to lust. Lust and love are two different things.

[Abtraction]

lol, your alone, no kids, rode the CC, men don't stay with you, but everyone else is delusional. enjoy your cats...

[Arabella_Rose]

@Abtraction its because you can't read. As mentioned in the question, i can attract any man I want. I just can never find a man that I'm attracted to. by the way. you sound like a terrible human being. im not trying to hurt your feelings. just being honest, right here.

[modelUN242]

@arabella_rose "If you love someone, you know you love someone. Sex cannot make you love someone. Sex can definitely make you lust after someone. But you can NEVER fall in love simply due to lust. Lust and love are two different things." Didn't you fail on that part? You let lust control you because after all you didn't return the love the "nice guys" gave you. And myself, we have talked about sex and cuddling, and none of us want a dead bedroom.

[Arabella_Rose]

@modelun242 I'm just ridiculing about how you said that sex can cloud your judgement. In my own experience, lust or sex DID NOT cloud any of my judgement. I NEVER entered a relationship just due to lust. I NEVER fell in love due to lust. If you love someone, you know you love someone, regardless if you have sex or not.

[Arabella_Rose]

@modelun242 Nobody is a virgin prior to marriage nowadays. NOBODY! The only people who abstain from sex prior to marriage usually are religious, marry extremely early in life, and marry to create family rather than for the ultimate romance of their lives. Religious people divorce less because they have lower expectations of marriage (as you mentioned that you will stay married to a husband is sexually incompatible, lets be honest right now. how could anyone stay happy not having their sexual needs fulfilled?) As you also mentioned before, you're not even looking for the "best man" to marry. You are just looking to settle for a "good man" to marry. You're not looking for the best romantic experience of your life. You're just looking for a husband to create a family. You have very low expectations of marriage. You are the type who would marry , just for the sake of getting married. You will stay in a boring , unfulfilling marriage just for the sake of calling yourself "married". People who are not religious, have sex before marriage, they leave unfulfilling marriages where their basic needs are not met. You would stay in a marriage where there is no sex, no cuddling, no intimacy. But how many people would be willing to stay in a marriage like that? Non religious people divorce more because they have higher expectations of marriage. Not because sex prior to marriage distorts or clouds your judgment about someone.

[modelUN242]

@arabella_rose I find it abnormal that you never had a boyfriend yet you slept with all these guys? I thought you have sex with your boyfriend not before you have one?

[modelUN242]

@arabella_rose And I read that, I can't scroll down for so long.

[Arabella_Rose]

@modelun242 Well we all have different opinions of what is normal and what is not normal. I find it abnormal that you would stay married to a guy who won't fulfill you in many aspects. Or how you would just settle for a plain "good man" rather than the best man.

[GingerGuy]

It's hard, for some of us guys as well. I've never had any luck and "gave up" a long time ago. But you never know when you'll meet the right guy for you. It sounds cliché, but very true. My suggestion is stop looking. Take time for yourself right now, focus on career or something else and enjoy the single life for a while (it has advantages as well) and see what the future holds down the road. No rush at this point. I know women feel "pressure" to get married and start a family early, but you've got time still. Take a bit of a break for yourself.

[Arabella_Rose]

i plan on dedicating myself to my career until I am 30. Then I will start getting serious about the husband search. But honestly, 5 years goes by really quick. By the time I am 30, most of my social circle will be engaged , married or in serious relationships. The dating pool will decrease. Dating gets harder as we get older. Dating pool gets smaller, social lives take a downturn, physical attractiveness goes down.

[NoHopeSoldier]

Yes. You should completely give up on ever trying to find love. The only truth I know about love, is that it's unexpected. If you are "on the hunt" for it, love will illude you forever. Real love comes when you are clear of emotional baggage. If you are bogged down with the impending doom of not finding someone lovable, you can't see the little beauties of those in front of you. So RELAX and live a life you can be excited for everyday. Love will come to you then, just in time to mess it all up. 😂

[exitseven]

I'm sure other people have already told you this but you will fond somebody. You need t to be friendly and available and show somebody that you are interested. Try to meet new people and don't be afraid to make friends with guys. You are in a slump, a long slump but it is just a slump. I know this is hard and there is a large element of chance that goes with it but you are too young to give up on romance.

[Arabella_Rose]

Listen dude, i don't have forever to start a family

[exitseven]

i'm sorry.

[Andres77]

Sounds like men aren't the problem.
If the only common denominator in all this is you... then you're most likely the problem.

I could be wrong but if the lines above made you cuss me in your head and not even consider that it could be you... then it IS you.
It you took just one second and actually did consider that you might have some issues you need to work through so you can contribute to a healthy relationship... then there's hope for you still.
Truly... truly... I hope you find what you need.
After lots of pain I did find the love of my life. It's possible, just not easy.
Good luck.

[Arabella_Rose]

issues like what?

[Andres77]

You missed it... I can't help you I'm sorry

[Arabella_Rose]

sounds like you know i don't have issues.

[Andres77]

Meh... if you didn't have issues you wouldn't be whining to a bunch of anonymous nobodies online seeking advice on why even shallow men dump you. You've got issues kid. Find a therapist or go make amends with your parents.

[Arabella_Rose]

well i am loved by many men. so I don't know what ur talking about

[Andres77]

I read your "question". Many men fuck you and use you... no one loves you

[Andres77]

I'm a nice guy, I offer advice, I'm patient... you're an arrogant jerk. You deserve to be treated well and loved and treated with respect... you don't even do that to yourself. You need a therapist.

[Arabella_Rose]

you didn't offer advice. you just enjoyed saying there's something wrong with me.

[Andres77]

Ok... fair enough. I'm having a rough day and it's not your fault. I'll take everything back and I apologise for even saying it. It came out mean and I never want to do that to anyone, you didn't deserve it. I'm sorry.

[Andres77]

The common denominator still stands... but that doesn't equal "fault_. It suggests issues. My head's clearing. I'll explain more later. Again, sorry for being rude.

[Abtraction]

yep, it's probably her

[havingfun101]

Guys don don't cohabitate she can clean you out with palimony laws and steal your kids.

[user2345354]

@arabella_rose, I want to make your coffee every morning. I want to lather your back for you in the shower. I want to hold your hand and watch the sunrise. I want to learn your likes and dislikes and never displease you. Nah, I'm just kidding.

[Caunsos]

You clearly know what traits you find attractive. And you don't heen a husband to have children just some semen.

[Arabella_Rose]

i can't take the stress of raising kids all on my own

[Caunsos]

You know what traits you find attractive. now just figure out where single men with those traits congregate together.

[Abtraction]

lmao, a woman like you can't hurt my feelings. your opinion means nothing to me, my family, and friends in my life know I'm a good person as well I do. I only engaged you to maybe open your eyes to the terrible path you chose.

[Arabella_Rose]

if i didn't hurt your feelings, why did you bother posting a passive aggressive hating answer on here? you're obviously not trying to give any advice.

[Abtraction]

have a nice day. I wish you the best modelUN242, you sound like a wonderful woman. I wish I had met a woman like you in my 20's. I probably would have had a much better marriage. god bless.

[modelUN242]

Thank you, I wish you the best as well.

[Arabella_Rose]

@abtraction Of course. You need a woman who will stay married to you even when she clearly knows you're a bad guy. A woman like @modelun242 who has super low expectations of marriage. She will stay married to you even if you never have sex with her for 40 years.

[modelUN242]

@arabella_rose What are you talking about? It's the women who will likely not have sex, which is how most dead bedrooms are caused. Men have a bigger sex drive.

[Arabella_Rose]

@modelUN242 There are women out there with high sex drives. They just don't tell you about it. I've had multiple guy friends with very very high sex drives, where they want sex daily. They all tell me that marrying a woman with a similar, equally high sex drive is crucial to a successful relationship / marriage. It increases the satisfaction level of the relationship / marriage SIGNIFICANTLY. Sure, you can choose to stay married to someone with a very different sex drive. You just won't be anywhere near as fulfilled or happy.

[Abtraction]

Arabella_Rose why don't you just quit, you're making a fool of yourself. You're obviously jealous of her because she has something special. To be honest, I'm a bit jealous to. I thought I has something special but it turned out to be a lie, but at least I have my kids. I pray she has what I never had, true love.

[IHateBeingaMan]

so you have only had casual sex only, sex without an emotional connection?

[Arabella_Rose]

what am i supposed to do if i can't fall in love?

[JamieLoves]

Definitely have a sex change ! FtoM

[msc545]

If you are still online dating you might want to stop that. It never seems to result in anything good, and the disappointment is lasting and very debilitating long after you stop using these sites for some reason.

At least in the US, men don't want marriage or even serious relationships primarily because of #metoo, false accusations, hostility from women, and the way they are treated in family law courts, among other things. This is of course not personal to you but unfortunately, you are feeling the effects.

I don't have a definite solution, but I think you might want to try dating some older men, even the divorced ones, and see how the goes for you. The older men I know are more willing to engage in the sort of relationship I think you are looking for.

Best Wishes

[Arabella_Rose]

i am not physically attracted to older men. i can't spend life with a man who is about to retire in a few years.

[msc545]

Maybe just a little older.

[Arabella_Rose]

I have always gone for guys , just a few years older. I am not interested in guys that are too old because I am looking for a life time partner. I can't do things with him if I'm 45 and he is 60.

[Bklynbadboy12]

Nah don't do it

[Anonymous]

if men fell in love with you but you didn't with them then you are the problem.

Yes. Please give up

[Anonymous]

Have you tried online dating or dating apps or no luck on those either?

[Arabella_Rose]

The info is posted in the question details. Read it