I have a lot of insecurities about my body and my boyfriend follows very skinny girls on social media, am I over reacting?

Question

I don't want to say a lot about my private life, at least with this topic, but I suffered from bulimia and anorexia, and usually when I see skinny girls or that type of girls it triggers me a lot.
My boyfriend is one of the best persons I know, but he follows a lot of girls in ig, Twitter and other platform and most of them skinny girls and very pretty ones and it triggers me a lot, I been having episodes of that. And I know the problem is bc I am insecure with myself. Anyways, I did tell him a lot of times about how it makes me feel but he always excuses himself with "I just follow them bc of the funny comments they make" (I mean, text posts), but this girls only post selfies and all body photos, this girls also usually are... Trying to show their body but at the same time not, plus most of them have only fans or a NSFW acc. For trying to solve the problem bc of the many episodes I had with my body and this girls we said to do the agreement that I shouldn't have social media, and now I don't have any social media. But the first day I did broke this rule bc it was difficult, in this first day he followed another skinny girl but she was more skinny than the others and it was a porn account with less than 200 followers and it was a private acc also it really broke my heart.(I did tell him I broke the rule and about the girl, I'll put screenshot of that

Im the one of purple and his the one with blue, red is the user of Instagram. I behaved pretty bad when it happen, I try to cont — I'm the one of purple and his the one with blue, red is the user of Instagram. I behaved pretty bad when it happen, I try to cont

) it's not the first time this happens since he used to follow a lot of... Porn account of only fans girls, it makes me very insecure. Am I overreacting? Am I the problem? How can i solve it?

OrdinaryDaniel · Accepted Answer

First I think it is generally I would say you are overreacting but I understand you have insecurities and that is hard to overcome. Instead of saying "Who is the problem." Maybe find a middle ground for the both of you to agree upon. You need to understand that men generally have high libido than women. And it is not hard to contain it without masturbating or sexual action. And he needs to understand that insecurities are very hard to fix or heal. Try to compensate for your boyfriend to not look at girls in insta but for him to relieve his lust. I don't think he is a bad person from what I have seen and I don't think you are bad as well.

Another way is to maybe try to change your way of thinking. It is not easy but hear me out. There are two truths that live inside us all:

1. There are unfortunate truths about what we’re not so good at. (insecurities & weaknesses)
2. There are also fantastic truths about what we *are* good at. (strengths)
These both co-exist … in everyone!

If you press just about anyone & ask them what they are pretty good at, and what they really aren’t good at, usually people can give you some things on both sides.

But here’s the secret:

People who feel insecure tend to focus on what they are not so good at, and people who are confident tend to focus on what they *are* good at.

That is the only difference between a confident and insecure person.

It’s not that a confident person doesn’t know that they have weaknesses - they do! They are not ignoring them…. it’s just not what they think about and put forth front & center.

They emphasize their strengths, do some work behind the scenes on weak points, and go through life in ways that highlight what they are good at…and when you do that? It just reinforces that self-confidence.

It makes their weaknesses and insecurities seem small and irrelevant.

Imagine if you gave it *one week* and put the emphasis on your strengths - how different you would feel internal and how different you would present to others. It would look a lot like confidence.

You get a job that capitalizes on your strengths (and you get praised for them), have a partner who adores your strengths (and thinks they are amazing), volunteer and use your strengths to help others (getting positives from them) and all of a sudden all those weaknesses/insecurities start to seem really, really small.

It’s not that you ignore your insecurities, but to be confident, you capitalize on what you are good at…and It makes the things you worried about seem not very important at all.

Now go capitalize on those strengths!

JamieLoves · Accepted Answer

I’m not even sure that you’re serious.
You have to be blind or lying to yourself to ask this !!! In case you’re that out of it...
I’ll answer..:

Unmmmm... you have bigger problems than your physical insecurities around your boyfriend... Why is he following other girls and why does he say that he wants to be with her?
He’s not into you ! Leave his sorry cheating Ass ! Now...

GnatSocks · Answer

You aren't overreacting. This guy has a porn addiction, and is lying to hide it, then he'll make excuses. OP, this is not good, regardless of your self-image issues. Set boundaries: no porn, no nsfw accounts, either he can have the real thing or he can have something fake, but not both.

whitehide · Answer

You're not overracting. Is he really the best person you know, if he continues to lie to you, break his promises and goes behind your back to do shit that would hurt you?

Wise4myage · Answer

He shouldn’t be in that stupid site to begin with and no, you are not overreacting at all.

Twalli · Answer

Basically those girls are his porn. Open tastes do not correlate to real life tastes

DrakeJoe · Answer

You don't have to feel insecure.  But If it hurts, talk with him.

In_Trance · Answer

yes you are

STLeave · Answer

You've discussed it with him which is a big thing. If he's horny he needs porn not random Instagram accounts.  Try not to compare yourself to others as well, it's never a positive thing