Why do I feel unwanted?

Question

My boyfriend and I have talked about someday getting married, having children, and him moving in with me possibly this July. When we have sex, we don't use a condom. But he's always concerned about where I am in my cycle and never risks cumming in me. I joke about him teasing me about cumming in me, even though he never does.

I don't know why I feel rejected. We've talked about kids and he wants 3. I told him I'd let him decide when he wants them because I just want to be with him. However, lately he's been studying really hard for a test... he reads my messages and most of the time doesn't respond. I don't send him many. I usually say good morning and good night. Occasionally I'll try to get in conversation but you can tell he doesn't really read what I'm saying. In fact he told me to relax when I told him I accidentally sent him the wrong number that was supposed to be my mom's number. So he could say happy birthday. Anyway..

Today I told him good morning and also that I didn't tell my friends or family about his profession because I wanted them to see him as he is as a person... and not his profession. He read it but never responded. Not even to my good morning message.

I don't think he dislikes me... we have not actually fought yet. We've been together for a few months now. He's been studying hard with a lot riding on his test for his career.

I just don't know why I feel so rejected and unwanted. I don't want to stress him out and I'm hoping this is just a phase. I just don't feel worthy for anyone to want to marry me... let alone knock me up. I honestly don't believe he does.

slatyb · Accepted Answer

Are you happy with him? Is he happy with you? Are you happy together or is there drama?

"You can tell he doesn't really read what I'm saying" -- It sounds like he's not really that into you. Don't have a child with a man who isn't in love with you. That will lead to misery.

You need to figure this out before you do become pregnant. That seems inevitable if your only birth control method is coitus interruptus. Can you see a therapist and talk about your feelings of inadequacy?

summiter · Accepted Answer

I am assuming he is immersed in studying and hopefully his mind is elsewhere. Perhaps delay marriage a bit until he is done with studying or work issues. As you know the "pull out method" during sex does not always work due to precum having some sperm in it. Anyway enjoy the sex and a future marriage.

Zannika02 · Accepted Answer

Sounds busy and maybe not a great time to be dating, but u got to say hey I need some acknowledgement, feel like u dont have time for me or want time w me

GnatSocks · Answer

You need to chill. You're not rejected. Help him destress because he's just as wrecked as you, and tell him your feel kinda rejected that you're afraid he doesn't actually want kids with you, not just right now, but later on.

exitseven · Answer

Studying and the stress involved with school can be more than distracting. You should not take a lot of this personally. I don't know what profession he is entering but if it is a high stress and all consuming profession maybe this guy isn;t the right guy for you as the situation may not get any better.