Why do people stay in sexless marriages or relationships?

[Finchie40]

Me personally would never stay in a sexless marriage or relationship, especially if the relationship started off with a lot of sex then all of a sudden your partner decides they don’t want sex anymore and you are left unfulfilled for a long period of time , to the point you have to masturbate just to get off, If you are in a sexless marriage or relationship now or have been what made you stay? Life is too short to be unfulfilled , if someone actually loves you they will want to have sex with you and not use it as a weapon , My friend is in a sexless marriage and I told him to leave her considering they use to have sex a lot , He tells me that she makes constant excuses to why she doesn’t want sex , to me it sounds like she is cheating on him or thinking about cheating , he forgot to take the trash out so she says No sex again? What kind of shit is that? , If you are in this type of relationship you need to move on in my opinion. I told him do not be her punching bag , value your self worth and find someone that wants you like you want them

[Screenwriter]

I have a serious question for your friend. Is his wife approaching menopause? Does she have any sort of thyroid condition? Both of these medical events can cause extreme changes in a woman's libido, and unless she has hormone therapy to address the issue, there will be no return to the good old days.
Is his wife under some kind of extreme stress at work, is she caring for a sick parent or child? Weigh what is the ROOT CAUSE.
Sex is the FIRST thing to go right after exercise. You won't die without either, but you quality of life will plummet. So will the quality of your relationship if sex was a priority for the couple.
Don't leave YET! Have you friend sit down and try to talk this through with his wife. Maybe she has chronic fatigue syndrome. No woman on EARTH wants sex if she's tired. OR, he wants sex at the end of the day! BINGO! Tired woman again.
Run down the list with your friend and cover all possible issues, THEN have him have a straight up talk with his wife.

[Screenwriter]

If she avoids doing anything positve after a COMPASSIONATE talk about this lack in a marriage that had a healthy sex life, I'd suggest he ask his wife to see a sex therapist with him. First off, sex therapists are licensed therapists/psychologists FIRST. There might be something underlying this no sex problem that has nothing to do with medical problems at all. Make sure his wife is physically all right too. Both of them should see medical doctors for complete checkups. Both have to agree to this, FIRST!!! Once the medical issues are cleared up, THEN there are the psychological ones. People have all kinds of ideas about sex that are not evident from the surface. We've had a wonderful 25 year marriage. Sex shouldn't be important anymore... I want a companion, not a bedroom jockey... My parents didn't have sex. I never heard them. It wasn't important to them. People model their marriages on marriages they witnessed. My dad made sex seem like fun and though my mom was very conservative, he was a hoot and I always thought, man sex will be SO MUCH FUN! I can't WAIT TO BE MARRIED!!! Daddy had the best attitude. I know my mother was a happy woman in the bedroom... So, it might be GETTING OVER BAD ATTITUDES about sex and marriage after a long time has passed and people are getting older... Sometimes people have to learn what a gift wonderful sex is to a relationship and how it deepens and enriches a couple's lives... I was lucky to have such wonderful parents...

[Finchie40]

Thank you for your answer but me personally doesn’t agree on this , If someone needs a sex therapist to help with their relationship to me that relationship is over , We can only love the same way we want To be loved , we can only give what we want to receive , We as people can still love someone even though sometimes we have to let them go , A marriage takes 2 people and To make it work and for love to grow we sometimes have to sacrifice for each other and remove selfishness , if a partner is not being fulfilled and left miserable in that marriage when they are Communicating with their partner and nothing is getting through their thick skull and they stick to their decision and not looking to compromise with you then they are a selfish person and only really care about themselves , if they can’t Remove their selfishness in a relationship then they have no right being in one , Just because someone chooses not to want sex anymore it doesn’t mean your partner has to stand by your decision, Love is not forced it can only be guided , The partner that chooses to not want sex anymore needs to compromise with their partner that still loves sex , And that’s where so many people go wrong Why cheating and affairs occur because someone is being unfulfilled , Life is to short to be with someone that doesn’t fulfill you , if I suddenly didn’t want sex anymore with a partner and they are addressing their concerns to me , I would tell them to go get it elsewhere and let them move on , i wouldn’t make them accept my decision and make them feel horrible for not agreeing on my decision. People that do this sort of things to their partners are narcissistic manipulative control freaks and you have every right to walk away from those type of people , I was married to one for a long time and I was blind to it , My friend is going through the same shit I went through with my ex , I am telling him to leave her , if she really loved him she wouldn’t be making him suffer

[Finchie40]

Using sex as a weapon is not love , that is selfishness , She has no problem spending the money he earns but when it comes to sex it’s like he has a chore list to complete before she even thinks about giving in to him and apparently no matter what he does for her it’s never enough so he is left sexless , To me that is abuse and I told him to leave her

[Finchie40]

People that tolerate this behavior I am sorry to say you are wasting Your time , There are a lot of relationships where people are suffering and miserable and only staying with that person because of kids or they have to much invested into that relationship to throw it away but they are living miserable and loveless and living a lie , It’s sad to see , We were put on this Earth to love and to feel wanted you weren’t put here to be someone’s punching bag and to be used , I have God as my savior and God doesn’t want you living a life where your are unhappy and miserable , when you are in a sexless marriage you are allowing the Devil to come in between you and your partner , Your partner should be your number 1 priority over your kids over your family and friends , if you can’t accept that then you are with the wrong person and you are wasting your time missing out on True love , Because when you are lying on your death bed the only person that will really be by your side is your partner if you truly love one another , Life is to short to stay with someone that doesn’t fulfill you and make you feel wanted. Having sex with someone that loves you the same is the best sex you will ever experience and have , if that disappears then so does your relationship with that person , when someone cheats I never understood why they would want their partner back like it was a mistake, they already answered their own question that they really don’t love their partner , If I cheat on a partner I am ending that relationship with my partner and being with the girl I cheated on her with , I have slept with married women that I didn’t know were married and when I found out they ended up going back to their husbands like nothing happened , Is that Love?

[Screenwriter]

It does sound like this is a problematic relationship from a long time ago. That's very sad. If he still loves this woman, though at LEAST give it the old college try for a few therapy sessions. Then he can say he did EVERYTHING that he could. He'll have no regrets. Well, he'll regret he had to end the marriage no matter what... but he'll have done everything he could've. That's all I'm saying. I hear what you're saying. I'd simply want to dot all i's and cross all t's.

[Finchie40]

Yea , I told him to sit down with her and have a serious talk and to put his Foot down to her and tell her his true feelings , and to compromise , if she isn’t willing then tell her to leave lol

[DizzyDesii]

I’d only stay in a sexless marriage if we’re like age 50+. Anything under that, i’d prob divorce. I’d be all for sexless relationships until we’re like engage

[jerdanro]

I'm 50 and still have a high sex drive.

[DizzyDesii]

@jerdanro i believe it. But i doubt i’ll care much about sex if single a 50

[Finchie40]

My ass wants To be having sex until I die , I don’t care how old I am , if I have to use a cane to hold my ass up I will lol I’m sorry but sex to me is a lot of things and also keeps the spark alive and makes you and your partner feel closer , , after I have amazing sex I feel better, I have more energy I am happier in life , if a girl stopped wanting sex with me, I’m sorry but my ass is more than likely going to find Someone else , just because I might love her doesn’t mean I have to be punished and miserable and unfulfilled I would straight up tell her I love you but I need sex and if you don’t want to have sex with me anymore than I am sorry I am going to go find someone else that wants to make me feel wanted and fulfilled and maybe you should as well cuz apparently you don’t want to be in my arms anymore either Communication is key , Life is too short to settle with someone that doesn’t fulfill you in my opinion. If you don’t like sex anymore that’s fine , but don’t expect a partner that loves you and loves sex to stop wanting sex just because you don’t want it anymore , To me that is selfish , If I suddenly didn’t want sex anymore and I loved my partner , I would tell her to go find someone else to fulfill her sexual needs, We can only love the same way we want to be loved , we can’t force someone to be what we want them to be , We Can only give what we want to receive and guide them, if we don’t feel loved the same Way we love them you are Wasting your time with someone , you are probably in a relationship with a control freak narcissistic, manipulative asshole , Most people are blind when they get into those relationships and don’t really see what that kind of person does to you, I was married to one for 14 years , it took me a long time to see what she put me through , All I know is I will never be in that type of relationship again. Don’t get into a relationship period if you choose to be selfish is the way I see it

[DizzyDesii]

Totally understandable. Like i said, if im single, i’d be fine without sex no matter the age. If im taken, i’d be divorce him if he refused sex under the age of 50. If we’r eover 50, then we’re old and i’d just be glad to grow old together, i could care less about the sex by that age. Now if we’re happily sexually active at 50, great. But like i said, if he doesn't wanna get it on, i’d be old and doing more important things at that age then worrying about him needing viagra

[Finchie40]

Lmao I would use viagra if need be lol

[DizzyDesii]

Yea i never saw sex as all that although i do enjoy it in the moment. I don't know sometimes i just see sex as a way to reproduce. I know thats bad but its true

[Finchie40]

Well guys don’t look at it that way , not only does it feel amazing to us it also makes us feel closer to her , when a girl stops having sex with a guy she use to have sex with all the time he starts to worry that something is wrong , with him or her etc.. it adds unnecessary fire into a loving relationship , when a guy doesn’t feel valued or loved by his girl he will look elsewhere if things don’t change , So is it really considered cheating if she thinks sex isn’t a big deal? Why should he suffer and feel unfulfilled cuz she doesn’t look at sex like he does? She should be accepting of him screwing another girl , cuz it’s just sex?

[DizzyDesii]

Yea but i already made it clear that im down if he's down. But like i said at age 50+, if he stops, i’d be fine with that. I get that it may not be the same vice versa. Im not gonna make a guy wait for sex unless we’re not already in love and in a longterm committed relationship

[Finchie40]

Understandable , but if you were with me , my ass ain’t stopping lol

[DizzyDesii]

Then im not either lol

[SenseiSeptred]

Because sex does not have to be the most defining thing about a relationship. Attaining enlightenment is one of them for many, but for me who has had that happen, enlightenment made me a much greater sexual creature than I ever thought that I wanted to be to the point that maybe doing it in a dumpster sounds pretty appealing, lol.

[PrudentGuy]

Marriage? I think kids, petty legal cases all play a part.

Relationship? I think it won't last.

PS: I hate girls who use sex as a weapon. And any girl who use sex in exchange for material things are prostitutes, wives included.

[Inexpensivefurniture]

Some people don't need sex to make a relationship work, or to be happy. I'm not saying that's always the case, it's not even usually the case. But there are people who don't care whether or not they have sex in their relationships

[exitseven]

When you get older everyone starts to have medical problems. Everything that used to work all of a sudden is failing. The deal is in sickness and in health that's what everyone signs up for.

[pigoat]

The answers i have gotten is they personally don't have the energy for sex anymore or they are in pain or they have bigger issues in their lives

[clampfan101]

Life is much more than sex.

[JamieLoves]

There afraid to be alone and go find someone that loves sex

[DrakeJoe]

Because there is love

[jerdanro]

We have three children together and didn't get divorced until we thought they could handle it. Once you have kids, their needs become more important.