I'm already pregnant and very happy about it. But if I found out I was pregnant again while already being pregnant I'd be pretty freaked out cause I don't want twins lol
Also how would that work out to have twins with different due dates... but congratulations! I got woken up with that news yesterday and am ecstatic while trying to decide what to do with the time leading up. Having extra cash socked away for each kiddo is never a bad idea. Seriously congrats! 🥳
That's great! Best thing to do is to relax since there won't be much time for that after having a baby
Relax? I have two toddlers I'm watching at home right now, a debate on whether to continue stay at home, or rush and get my masters as I have such a gaggle-fuck of hours from all the research I did to actually pay for my school, but that's all gravy. Parenting is work, but something I love doing, I told my wife early on she'd have to decide how many kids we have as if it was left up to me we'd simply have to buy a farm at some point lol ... Though I am hoping we get that farm, I don't think she's up for it :(
I know this might not sound nice but I would be scared and upset and be thinking about my next move very carefully x
It doesn't have to sound nice. If you've ever heard or seen a woman deliver outside a hospital without anesthetic, reproduction is pretty brutal. Hospital messed up the second time around and that turned into an at home delivery with me saying everything is fine, it's cool, we're alright, while I'm freaking right the fuck out on the inside. It is a huge change to more lives than just your own, so being scared and thinking carefully about what to do makes sense. Everyone has different situations, different values and desires.
I am very career driven and I wouldn’t want a child to come in between that at this moment in time! I am not mentally ready x
Well, at the same time, I had to ask myself at some point, what am I working for? Money is a powerful tool, but it is just that, a tool. When I stopped working simply for the sake of making more to make more my life got better, like I was doing less shady stuff, stressing out less, and had more time to myself. Oddly enough I was saving more money than when I was working 7 days 12+ hours as well. That tendency is still in me to chase the money like a bloodhound on a scent, consequences be damned. And, call it cheesy, call it what you will, when I lose myself to that it's my family and god that pull me back. Like, no voice in the sky, burning bush, or anything like that, just the connections I made/make that keep me grounded and offer alternatives. The ties that bind us. You and I are different people though, you have to follow your path as I have to follow my own. Heh, for one thing during reproduction I'm the one impregnating and not the one being pregnant, that would most certainly change my perspective. To what, who knows?
Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions
What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!You're not giving any context at all. Are you in a longterm relationship, single? Context is how you'd react.
Well, it's how you would react in your current construct... why the question was worded so openly. For yours let's do make believe. You're a 25 year old career driven woman, and I'm a 30 year old man who is possibly the father. But there is another man you have been starting to see, Eduardo, he is striking, handsome, 20 years old, and though he makes less money, every pore of his body screams MAN! like mine screams BO! What do you do? But wait! There is also my boss who has been making moves on you, he is 50 years old, very rich, very connected, and while I have the BO, and confidence that Eduardo cleans the murky swimming pool 3 times a week, he has the age, wealth, status, but lacks heirs. Faking a coma is valid in this construct, but only for you.
OK, first off, I'd NOT be having sex with more than one man at a time. Talking to Eduardo because he is so sexy, sure. I'm a regular, not a butterfly. A pool cleaner could certainly by my friend, but unless he's in night school working on some kind of degree to alter his future, no go. It'd be highly unlikely that a 25 year old woman would be attracted to a 20 year old man due to maturity AND financial issues. I'd say I wouldn't be impressed with Edward's lack of initiative. Pool cleaner means "giggolo" to me. No initiative. No future. Unless he's trying to get into POOL CLEANING BUSINESS or his dad owns the company, pretty Eduardo is a no-go in my panties. At 25, there was no 50 year old who would interest me unless it was a movie star... Rich has never impressed me and connections? Wasn't on my radar at 25. I'm not gonna be a baby incubator for Mr. 50. At 25, I was on the cusp of deciding my life in REAL LIFE and having a baby was not on my agenda. Grad school or an advanced degree or a serious relationship. I'd long decided if I'd had an unwanted pregnancy I would end it. At 25 I was in no position to have a child, even with the situated 30 year old, might have eanted marriage, but not motherhood. I waited until 39 to have a child and it was the right decision. I had time to work, get my degree in journalism, travel some and be a part of a couple for years before talking about having and taking care of a child. I'd be very sad to end the pregnancy, but I stand by that decision. I was a serious birth control user and never was put in that position because of that. If I was 25 today, I'd have birth control implants that are 99,99 percent preventative. I don't want to have to decide over an accidental pregnancy. I'd never have a child for someone I didn't want to love and live with, Mr. 50. Nor would I want a feckless little boy who cleans pools. No matter how Suave, Sexy he was. Neither of those guys would be on my agenda.
And unless Mr 30 and I had been DISCUSSING marriage and having children would I ever consider keeping the child and getting married. There IS THAT possibility. We'd have to do some serious talks about HIS sacrifice if I had been intending on grad school or a particular job that might be superseded by the pregnancy and impending child care because I'd want to stay home for three months. This would end some job and grad school possibilities. What if I had a scholarship to grad school? One that would evaporate unless I took it right then? What if there was a job/intern possibility that would also evaporate? Would I be confident enough that I would be able to find a similar situation in this job =/school scholarship market 15 months down the line? Could I START grad school or the job during my pregnancy? At 39, I had the most boring pregnancy and childbirth ever and I returned to work 7 weeks after my son was born. It was rough: tired, not enough sleep, colicky baby. He was small and until he picked up weight, he cried all the time. He was not premature either. So, whatever choices are made, there are unknowns. You have to do the best according to your hopes, dreams and rational plans with the people involved...
Happiness & joy, find a fun way to reveal it to my partner. Probably a little shocked😳 as well lol as how the f... As I am not into 1 night stands so whoever it's with or whatever happens will be a blessing & would definitely be with a long term partner or someone solid in my life. After all of that possibly stressed as I like to plan everything, so I would have to get everything ready. Do research. Start planning. Think budget and everything goes on a spreadsheet😅😂🤣, work out costs for everything, lists, to do lists, to get lists, get my p. a to book appointments😅 - list for baby, list for myself and list for my partner. Lol I know it sounds a little much but I love to be prepared.
That's a solid response, me and my wife did the same before, then with a fury after that positive test, moving to a better area, me getting a job that paid better. Freaking out and reading every book, preparing for every worst possible outcome. Then thinking yes, we are ready, everything is set. You know, until that head came out, it's probably different for women since, you know you have a kid inside you. But that's the moment things were really real to me, and it struck me that holy hell, I'm a dad, all those books are worthless, some of the preparation is worthwhile, this is a life that I'm responsible for now. An unpredictable, beautiful, crying little life that I will never be able to be prepared for, but just have to roll with as things unfold as they will. It also made me realize I wanted more kids even through being up at 4AM with bottles and up for work at 6 lol
That's a beautiful response. Thanks for the advice, I'd take it. Think back to this when it happens. Somethings no one can be prepared enough, it's my crazy pedantic streak that will definitely show. I'm sure I will be a little freaked out, as I would like things to run smoothly but as you know life is unpredictable. I'd want my partner to be with me and know about every part of the experience. So heavy involvement. Take notes, film experiences. You're absolutely right, you can only let things unfold and learn as you go. Thank you again.
Heh, I'm the helicopter mom in my relationship, if you were poly and we had kids they'd go out to ride bikes wrapped in foam or something lol I'd also recommend heavily against filming the birth, it's a miraculous thing to create a life, and beautiful when you're holding that new mewling baby... but I doubt you want to see your vagina expanding to push out basically a bowling pin with shoulders and after birth, my wife was on the fence about that, then, no, no, hell no! when I described what I was seeing heh Everyone is different though, shrug
FINALLY. I've been wanting to be a mother since age 3 lol
Well get to getting then girl! From everything you write, get into a church dating group, find the right guy, and "work" on that lol
Yea back then i cared to. Now i dont really care to go through all that. I’ll prob just get a sperm donor
I'm truly sorry to hear dating has ground you down so much :( though our views on dating and relationships differ a lot, you seem like a woman who would be an outstanding partner to me. Truly, I wish you had better experiences there.
The fact that my tubes are now tied and my husband had a vasectomy after our last son was born!
So disbelief, confusion, retesting, and maybe some finger pointing of "did you really get it done?"
It’s happened 3 times to me. All were planned and I was thrilled. Devastated when one ended in miscarriage.
If I got one now. We’d have some issues as my husband had a vasectomy 5 years ago.
So, the failure rate is low, very low on vasectomy's, but it does happen, something like.1 or.2% Sorry about the miscarriage, those don't just "go away" my wife had a blighted ovum one time, and it still upsets her to think about it.
If his vasectomy “failed” I would see it as a blessing. He would not. Thank you. Yes. It does bother me. As does the loss of my younger son’s twin. I think about those losses often. I have no basis in fact for this, but my mother’s intuition tells me they were both girls. I would never trade my two boys for anything, but yes, the losses still hurt.
Laughter. My girlfriend is 57 years old and post-menopausal.
It's an immaculate conception! I would start laughing, but if if was confirmed by an OB/GYN it would turn to terror fast. Not the responsibility of a kid, but if she did carry a child the enormous strain and risks at that age. Besides, you know, at 18 you being 84 or 85... playing catch sure would be interesting. Actually, it's possible, just wildly improbable after some light reading.
www.womenshealthspecialists.org/.../
Yeah, I know all about the risks of late pregnancies for women, and I know how unfair it is for a kid to have parents who are in the 60's or older wen the child is in high school.
Agreed, I knew an older guy who stacked up trophy wives, when he died he had something like 6, 8 kids from 5 or so marriages, I only know from the ones who showed up hoping for something from the will. Youngest kid was 5. That was awkward.
I would be extremely confused
Hmm, lots of men who have had vasectomies at young ages, and women who are virgins. That is such a strange dynamic for young people. At least from my point of view. Is it faith, lack of finding the right guy, no guy committing, or lack of desire that has kept you from taking that leap if it isn't too personal of a question? I feel like I'm on the edge of figuring something out, just not sure what.
I haven't had sex cause I dont want a baby
Does the pandemic and current political situation play into that a lot?
All good and ready for a new addition but it prob. won't happen. My two now have been asking for another sibling for a long time. Boyfriend and I tried a little, don’t think will happen.
I was never one to want or care to have. I do it because it’s the right thing to do - pass on the name/blood line.
My son 11 now is the last male from my ex husbands side... even though they once had 4 boys from two generations ago..
so I told my so to take on the duty of trying to have a boy or two in the future. He understands my reasoning and he said he will. So will see...
My boyfriend is also the last chance from his blood line out of three brothers, . but I think that’s it for him... we tried the natural way... not saying we tried hard enough with artificial methods.
so yes, we would all be very excited and been ready.
Completely understandable, reality is reality. Also Invitro, so on and so forth are pretty easy on a guy's end, pump into a cup. For women, egg harvesting, hormones, implanting, many miscarriages, lots of pain, lots of money. I've seen one of my aunts go through that... my wife and I decided if it ever came to that with us, we would just stop before that point.
Confusion
Like over how, what to do, or both?
Don't tell anyone, but I'd be happy. I'm not married, and I would want to marry the girl, but life happens, and a child being born, even if it changes your whole life isn't so bad. I wouldn't try to have one, but if it happens, it happens.
Well, you just told me, so it can't be that big of a secret lol. I'm always open when dating that I want kids. If they don't, that's fine, but it does mean I'll still be looking for a woman who does. It isn't something you exactly have to put a huge amount of effort into, like raising kids, yeah, getting a woman pregnant... just having sex.
Given I just spent $100,000 on two cars my reaction would be "well shit..."
Heh, better get that 60-80k back, put 10k in a used mini-van. I like my mini-van...
Would sell the Challenger and hold onto the Bronco Sport... Or maybe the other way around...
Ooh, keep the Bronco, technically that's a family car, right? I managed to hold on to one of my police interceptors for years using that logic "baby, no other car will survive a crash as well! It's for you and the kids' safety!" Forget how ridiculously fun it was to drive lol
My heart would sink because neither myself or by boyfriend are ready for kids, nor do I think I want them, at least right now.
If I'm being honest, I would probably terminate the pregnancy without telling him I was pregnant.
At least you aren't afraid to be honest about that. It is a Pandora's box, some people want to, or think they want to open it, others do not, or cannot. It isn't my place to be all judgey about either situation, because I've been in both places at different times in my life, in different relationships. I'm sure the economic hardships many people are facing right now don't help one single bit either. I do hope one day y'all are in that place where you are ready, you know, if kids are something you want in your future.
I would be happy, I think babies would be great. Of course this would happen when I get married.
Well, I'm sure that there are shotgun weddings in Canada the same as there are here in the South lol
Well, first I would get married and then have a baby, I believe in waiting til marriage.
I respect that. It's something I never had the discipline to do, and kind of regard in awe at those that can. Having a divorce at the age that you are right now, I guess it got me kind of jaded towards marriage, like it's a legal contract that can only serve towards taxes or if working a federal job. That's me though, and I honestly do respect that and stand back in awe of those very very rare people these days who do save themselves for that special someone. I just played probability with lots of let's say not so special someone's until I found someone who made me feel loved and desired, and I felt an overwhelming urge to return the same to her, year after year... and here we are today, a decade later with our family :) There's no right or wrong way, and I hope you find each other. A conservative group in college, or church group would be a good bet, just throwing that out there.
I would jump up and down with joy.
I don't mean to be callous when I ask, but you wouldn't be worried about being around to see them grow up into an adult? Believe me, I get the desire to reproduce, spread that seed, but at the same time I want to have the ability to help it grow. I mean, that's me though, and I have known older men who have had (or tried to have) kids with younger women, some knowing that they weren't long for the world. I'm honestly curious, and not trying to get you in any "gotcha" moment or any crap like that.
I'd call it Christianity
Umm, pretty sure women got pregnant a couple hundred thousand years before Christianity or Judaism, but let's say it isn't immaculate conception, would you care to be a little more in depth with that?
Extremely dumb and uninformative reply.
You're right she's supposed to be an Explorer and have a better come back it's like once these people get a name title don't perform anymore
Depends on the situation.
If I wanted to have a child, I'd be at the 7th heaven.
If the pregnancy is the cause of me being a goddamn idiot who wanted to make it raw and ended up knocking her up, I'd be in the 9th ring of hell.
In both cases responsability would be mine so I'd take it fully.
Luckily enough I'm not stupid enough to be the 2nd dude.
Oh, everyone has their "stupid" moments. One thing I'm curious about, is now is the perfect time to have kids simply because it seems to be the worst possible time to have children. Absent the extinction of humans we'll find a way to get by, and birth rates are dropping everywhere. That's less competition for the same resources (physical ones, opportunities, mates, etc.) down the line for those kiddos, especially when our generation dies off mostly childless with our parents wealth accumulated as well and it's going up on estate sale.
Taking away the fact that we are overpopulated thus we should all slow down with making new brats, there's no bad moment to have one, if you can afford it. To have a child born only to live in misery, it'd be a real dick move by their parents.
We're "overpopulated" much like animal species. It depends on your country/region. Like according to the USDA surplus food is donated to food banks. In reality a lot of it is floated off-shore in case of price fluctuations where it spoils because of time, or storms cutting the power to freeze/refrigerate it. The stench of shipping containers full of seafood, meat, and plant matter being pulled in after a hurricane to get hosed out is something you don't forget. The only way we'd hit an actual "overpopulation" is by running out of phosphorous to use as fertilizer, either by artificial controls, or misuse of arable land to try and achieve crop yields like China sees per acre. You do raise a good point with affording children though. With fuel prices rising that buffer of crops held in reserve is going to rise, as the amount distributed for welfare goes down, logistics do factor into the price of food after all. Plenty of people have kids born into misery. Oh the number of people I've known who have tried having kids to "save a relationship" and wonder why they wind up raising a child they didn't really want in the first place alone.
Personally I would be absolutely over the moon with joy and happiness.
I wish you and your partner luck, heh, it just takes time if he's keeping up his end ;) If it goes on for over a year, then you go see the fertility doc, me and my wife had to for our first. If you love each other and have good communication, it's just about patience and the fun of "practicing" making babies lol
@razelove Thank you so much for all your lovely kind wishes, hopefully as and when the time comes around for us to consider having our second child, all will be as quick and well as my first pregnancy.
Excellent question my friend!
I must say I'd be really happy, as recently we have had some talk that if we ''accidentally'' ended up conceiving a baby, it would be a very welcome news!
Heh, yeah, sometimes we all "accidentally" have a kid or two after a few months of unprotected sex lol, I wish y'all luck on that wonderful accidental endeavor :) I'm sure you'll do just fine, deep breaths, and get ready for sleep depravation is all.
I personally think it's a beautiful thing.
I'd likely say awe 🥺
That's very uplifting JJ
Thank you ☺️
🏃🏃🏃
Well, while I personally disagree with pulling a runner, if you are, at least join the military, merchant marines, or do something else productive. Every guy I knew who ran out on their kid, younger, or older, did so to keep the party going, and the party was pretty sad and repetitive "probably isn't mine anyway" and upgrade to heroin/speed. They never needed to run in the first place as when the mothers found them with the tract marks they just made them sign over any custody rights rather than go after child support that they'd never get as opposed to "visitation" being more like a hostage negotiation.
Yeah I know, pulling a runner on your child isn't right and I shouldn't do that I meant it as some kind of joke but it flopped. Honestly I don't really want children but if she is pregnant I will have to step in and take responsibility as the child's father. Running away and neglecting the child and mother isn't right
Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
Most Helpful Girls