Is it a good idea to get a friends with benefits for an eternally single woman?

[Anonymous]

Hi guys, unfortunately I have been single for well over 5 years, and I have been celibate during this time as well. The reason I have been celibate is because every man I ever met was extremely pushy and wanted to have sex on the first date within the first 5 minutes, even if we were in a public place. Because I didn't want to have sex in a public park or a bar or a restaurant, they called me a whore and left. That made me quite upset with men, and I decided to stay celibate until I met the right person for myself, who would treat me with a little bit more respect and would be happy to wait at least a couple of dates. But time is going fast, soon I will be 31 years old, and I still haven't got a boyfriend. All of my friends are married with kids, and they have been married for the past 10 years. Yet I spend every night in my room, eating dinner in front of my TV.
I figured that my biggest problem with dating is that men just want to have sex with me the very second they meet me, but I just want to get to know them a little better first. However they react really aggressively when I say I want to get to know him a little bit first.
So would a solution for this be to just sleep with the next guy I meet, straight away when he asks? That way he wouldn't get so upset with me, he would have his sex when he asks for it, and perhaps I would be able to find a physical relationship like that? If I offered a man a friends with benefits type of situation, where I go over to his place every night, and he can still remain single and sleep with lots of other girls, would that make a man really happy?
I'm scared that in a couple years time I will become unattractive and then it's "game over" for the rest of my life. I mean in this way, at least I can have a bit of sex before I "expire".
I don't think a real love is possible for me, perhaps I'm just unlovable or something, so is it a good idea to give myself away for free?

[SunnySonia]

If all the guys ask you immediately for sex, then you must be really hot and tempting 😜

I won't comment on where to find the right guy, but if you're also now looking to have sex, I don't think there's any harm doing that. However, I would prefer you call them to your place or do it at a neutral place (like hotel room, etc). Doing at the guy's place just be sure you don't get tricked into something bad.

So choose the guy YOU want to fuck with rather than giving away to anyone for 'free', else this may make you feel bad and uncontent.

Don't expect much in that relationship. Remember, you're getting into it for your pleasure not for his. Who knows you meet your right guy some day this way only!

[Asker]

What would "being tricked into something bad" mean?

[SunnySonia]

May be I'm exaggerating, but at their place someone can set hidden cams, call more people to your surprise, blackmail you later. Better be safe. If you don't wanna show your place then try hotels

[Ripper_E]

You should not have sex with any man just because that's what he wants. A guy who is serious about you will not ask for sex on the first date. He might accept it, but isn't going to push for it.
What you need to do, regardless of who you are going on a date with, is let them know what you expect from a man. You don't even have to say it with words, but let them know this is me, this is what I expect from you, and I am not settling for anything less. He can take it or leave it. You are not some girl he can push around and manipulate.

You want to get to know the guy first and that's respectable. Don't give it up for him. Make him work towards that

Can you have a friends with benefits? Sure, but that should be with someone you trust and consider a friend. If it's some guy, he could see other girls and he might not even be safe when he comes back to you. You can't trust him because all he is is sex. Not a friend.

[OlderAndWiser]

Where are you meeting guys who are just trolling for sluts?

[Asker]

On Tinder lol. Deleted it long time ago

[OlderAndWiser]

Duh! All guys are not like guys on Tinder. Start looking in the right places.

[Asker]

Where would be the "right place"?

[OlderAndWiser]

I an not sure about dating in your age range. For me, I've had good luck on POF, zoosk, and bumble.

[Asker]

On POF I only ever get messages like "I want to lick you right now" from 75 year old married men. I know someone who met her husband on Zoosk, but I never had any luck on there. Bumble - all the guys ghosted me before the first date. We would talk on the phone every day for a month, text, video chat every other day, but on the day of our first date, he was as good as dead, awol.

[OlderAndWiser]

I have always had the strategy of email 2-3 days, then get her phone and talk once or twice, then ask her to meet me. Months of texting is a waste of time.

[Asker]

Yeah but they're trying to postpone the meeting and don't even show up on the date

[OlderAndWiser]

Any guy who is not eager to meet you is not worth your time. Have you ever had a trusted member of the opposite sex review your profile and give you a critique? What they tell you may be surprising.

[slatyb]

Where are you meeting these men? This doesn't sound like any men I know. Maybe you need to start hanging out with a better crowd.

[Asker]

It is exactly the men I meet all the time on dating apps. The ones from real life come on really strong, only for me to find out later that they are married.

[Waldoe]

Live your life on your terms...

[Tstrbrainer]

Yeah, men would love a non monogamous relationship. So if you just want friends with benefits, go ahead

[Tjsmoove]

no because in sexual only type relationships women can easily catch feelins if sex is all the man wants and i don't think your unlovable

[Anonymous]

This has been your experience with EVERY guy you've dated? Because you either have extremely bad luck, or you need to pick different types of guys to date. I'd never even bring up sex on the first date, and even if I did, if you told me how you felt, I'd totally respect that. If he's calling you a "whore", that says so much about him. Totally disrespectful and immature. How old were these guys? If this was in the past (teenager), the guys you date now should be more mature and respectful now, but if not, like I say, you need to start dating different types of guys because you seem to be picking disrespectful immature ones. Not that they aren't out there, but "most" guys aren't this way. There should be some basic respect there that most people have in general.

[Anonymous]

probably, you're too old to get married and have a family so there is nothing left to save it for unless you just dont want sex