Sexual Relationships
+1 y

Is there something wrong with me?

sex question:
I can only orgasm during masturbation, not through sex. I have a very high sex drive for my age, I would say. My boyfriend and I have had sex at least 25 times and I have not orgasmed once. He orgasms everytime. I enjoy the intimacy aspect to our sex life but I’m feelings kinda depressed at the moment. Why can’t I orgasm during sex? We have tried different positions, he has given me head, he has tried fingering me, he has tried rubbing me while in me, etc... I can orgasm mainly during clitoral stimulation. We do mainly missionary, or cowgirl. During sex, I feel like I can get really close to cumming but then I don’t. I don’t want him to think he isn’t pleasuring me because he is. He also lasts a long time, and sex is never painful—at all. What tips can you offer? I’m about ready to book a gynecologist appointment because I am really lost. There might be something wrong with me, or my body.
0 1

Superb Opinion

  • Try having him grind into you during missionary variations - using his pubic mound to grind into your clit as he's penetrating you. This means instead of thrusting all the way in and out, he'll be mostly in, making short in-and-out strokes but also grinding. This can help stimulate your clit and get you there.

    Is there something wrong with me?Is there something wrong with me?



    The other option is to use positions that stimulate your G-spot (which is essentially just the base of your clitoris nerve, but accessed from the inside of you). He's got to use positions that cause his penis to rub up against it, so that means a number of "from behind" positions (doggy, spoon, jockey/prone bone) or "legs up" missionary positions where your legs or knees are pulled back.

    Make sure he's kissing you, sucking your nipples, pulling your hair, or whatever else you enjoy during sex too. More stimulation is rarely bad, and often helpful.

    Mechanics aside, a lot of it can be mental. Do you feel like you are blocking your orgasms in any way - like you get close and you mentally stop it or push it away? A lot of girls do that for one reason or another. The other thing is to not try to anticipate it, but let it hit you kind of as a surprise. Enjoy the pleasures of the sex, but don't focus on reaching an orgasm, just focus on the pleasure, and often, that will get you out of your head and you'll cum.

Most Helpful Guy

  • You are one of millions of women. You should read: The F*ck List by Scharzad (sp) Morgan. She is an escort in Vista California. I have been with her, and she gave her book. She said she ABSOLUTELY loves to fuck, and has had sex with literally more than a thousand men over her career. She has a hard time achieving orgasm during sex.

    You orgasm when you masturbate, which is very common. You must look at what you are thinking, what you physically do. I assume you rub your clitoris when you masturbate, which is the norm. She sometimes cannot orgasm during masturbation , but does the majority of the time.

    There i ABSOLUTELY NOTHING wrong with you. What you say is not unusual. Talk to your boyfriend and maybe you can masturbate together, as my girlfriend and I did/do. The mutual excitement may help you trigger an orgasm.

    I confess too, that I have not been the attentive lover I should have been with a new partner. Don't think you are abnormal. You just need to read THE FUCK LIST and see what Scharzad Morgan tells you

    Good luck and many orgasms !

Most Helpful Girls

  • how long have you been sexual active? I know of many women who had years with sex and not having an orgasm with a partner, myself included, took like 5 years (different partners) until it happened. I was happy with the sex and did not need the orgasm, being close to climax is plenty awesome, and I honestly thought it was annoying when the men was chasing it, and I actually ended up cuming for the first time with someone who was cool about it.
    To me it was about totally letting go, I could get close to climax but never reach it, but I eventually got over that. It for sure was something mental. I don't think a gynecologist can help so much, as long as you can cum alone it is not because there is something wrong with your body. Maybe seek a sexologist instead.

    • Thanks for your response it was super insightful :)

    • Sure thing.. hope you will relax more about it. I just read that you even can have an orgasms from masturbating in front of him, I cannot do that even though I easily can cum alone :D.. I think you will get there, might just take some time, and probably not years like for me since you are even 'ahead' of me, and hopefully have a nice partner that will stay for a long time :)

  • This is my problem as well. Always has been. I don't orgasm during sex. I have before but it's once a yr maybe if that. If I want to orgasm during sex I have to put a vibe ( I use the magic wand) on my clit during doggy or missionary where he's off the side of the bed. The problem is called orgasmic dysfunction by the way. It happens to men too. Rare but yea. I share the same feelings for ya sex is great but annoying when u don't Naturally release.

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What Girls & Guys Said

5 23

  • Nothing wrong at all. You are the same as many other girls. Masturbation gives orgasms. Sex doesn't. At least, not easily. I really don't know the answer.

  • Not being a female I obviously can't totally relate, but I had the exact same situation with a girl I dated for about 2 years. It was a bit frustrating for me too, thinking I should be able to 'perform' better so that she could orgasm.

    We eventually figured some things out, so that it worked. But even then, it wasn't like she would orgasm every time the way I could... but better than nothing I guess. I'm sure every female is different as far as what 'works' and what doesn't, but once we figured out a few things about what worked for her, that definitely made it easier. This type of thing is obviously pretty graphic sexually, and feels a little awkward to explain, but if you want to give me a follow or message me, I can try to explain a little better. No pressure obviously.

    Good luck!

  • Okay if you need to do is start making it even more about you with more foreplay I mean he can take you right to the point right before you're getting ready to orgasm just put the tip of his tongue just think about it and if you have to start masturbating you get yourself ready for that point if he can't do it you take yourself right there then then f*** that orgasm right out of you but tell him not to stop tell him to keep going so you can have another one right on top of it

  • A lot of girls do not orgasm from sex. Try more foreplay and have him get u close to an orgasm with is tobgue... it is ok to tell him where and what feels best. Have u tried a sex toy like a vibe to get u real close before sex?

    Have u tried going for round 2 or 3 sometimes that is what might work?

  • Try doggy and rub your clit while he fucks you. Use lube for your fingers when you rub your clit. Try to be relaxed and not think too much while you are having sex.

  • Not everyone can orgasm from penetrative sex. It's perfectly normal to not be able to. I've never been able to get there. Just gotta use your clit to your advantage.

  • Standard issue. A rather limited percentage of women can orgasm through penetration only.
    Clitoral stimulation, breasts stimulation or just any other type of stimulation are usually needed. Most often then not, the clitoris has all the answers. But so many dudes are clueless, or just don't care.
    Another great idea could be to bring toys in the bedroom. Vibrating eggs, dildos and whatnot might just scratch that little itch that doesn't allow you to get off in normal circumstances.

  • I find this. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with your body, o have to concentrate so hard to cum during sex where as I can literally cum in seconds during masturbation

  • Many women do not orgasm from intercourse. However, studies show that women who receive oral sex are much more apt to orgasm during intercourse than those who do not.

  • Is there something wrong with me?

    The correct stimulation of this point may promote an increase in libido
    "If you massage this area for two minutes it can help to release pent-up energy and frustration before allowing blood flow to restore to your genitals, better helping you to both reach orgasm.

    “The correct stimulation of this point can also promote an increase in libido by improving digestion and circulation.”

    Tummy rub
    Ren 6 – located on the stomach, two fingers’ width below the belly button

    Gilberto says: “Most people have heard of the G-spot but there is also an “orgasm button” just below your belly button.

    • www.the-sun.com/.../

    • I found this for you and figure I would share with you

    • Thank you so much!

    • Show All

  • For guys it's very easy to orgasm. For females, it's not as common and some females have reported not being able to orgasm through penetrative sex. To be honest, I think those females just haven't had a good sexual experience with a guy, but who am I to say? It may just be a biological thing.

  • I'd say it's in your head but try angles like imagine a line from your butthole to a couple inches bellow your bellybutton. Your g-spot is along that angle and only in a few inches. Him gently tapping on this spot should help

  • It can be learned. I have heard it takes some women years to orgasm during sex and some never achieve that. it does not mean there is anything wrong with you, it is just how you are built. Plus have you figured out what makes you cum in masturbation and find a way to incorporate that in your sex routine.

  • Get a triangular "sex pillow" , get in it face down, and get your rear in the air. He can probably get a better angle on your G-spot with a high-angle doggie entry. And get in more foreplay for you, too. Good luck.

    • You also might want to do a search on "picture of the whole clitoris". It's not just that little "bud", but also includes nerves endings in two petal shaped regions on either side of the vagina. Guys have a bigger target than most of them realize- it just takes some patience to wake it up!

  • Most women won't orgasm from straight penetrative sex alone.

  • You know your body best, it’s only normal in my opinion. We know how to please ourselves because we know what we want, that’s why communication is key to a healthy sexual relationship.

  • Do you love him?
    Does he love you?

  • Its definitely your partner. If you can do it but he can't... he's the problem.

  • Sounds like you may need to get jack hammered. Could it be in your head, could it be your boyfriend? Have to tried toys?

  • It sounds like it's in your mind. Just try to relax and let some of the pressure off of yourself. Also, try orgasming before sex.

  • Show More (8)

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