Who should be the one to buy a vibrator?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I have been dating close to a year. My boyfriend and I have had sex like over 50 times and I still haven’t orgasmed. I can orgasm with masturbation, but I think it’s time for vibrator. I want to be able to orgasm during sex and I’ve tried almost everything. My boyfriend suggested I invest in a vibrator. They can be a bit pricey for one that won’t give you a UTI (starts at around $50-60 for a safe one). I don’t mind purchasing one, but I want to hear your thoughts. Should I be the one to buy a vibrator? Or should my boyfriend maybe pitch in? I don’t have a job rn, he does.

[Red_Arrow]

I do not know where you live. The price of anything, including vibrators will vary with where you live. The other thing that determines price is the type. How complicated it is. A simple vibrator that is basically a dildo that vibrates should not cost much. For different shapes, power settings, and other features it can be more expensive.

The two of you should work on getting you to orgasm without a vibrator. It is much easier to enjoy sex if you can orgasm without having to figure how to get the vibrator in place to give you an orgasm while you are actually having sex. Women vary on the placement of the clitoris. For some it is closer to the vagina than for others, and the curve of the pubis makes it easier to contact during sex. If he is just moving in and out, he can easily climax, but may not contact the clitoris enough to let you orgasm. He may need to move in and out less and get deep in and then move his pubic arch against your clitoris. Or you may have to put your fingers in there and stimulate your clitoris yourself.

This is a vibrator for you to use with him and when he is not there. So you should normally be the one to buy it. If you cannot afford to, or are embarrassed to go to a store for one and cannot receive one in the mail, then he may have to be the one to buy it. I have bought a vibrator for a gal I liked that I was not even having sex with. Just because she needed one and I could get it for her. You have been together long enough for him to take the responsibility to help you by doing this.

[bowenw]

I suggest going to a sex shop together or shopping online. Sex shops often have very knowledgeable employees, especially female, that can assist you. Don't be embarrassed to ask for advice. I suggest determining how you will use it. If it's to be used while he eats your or during intercourse, a small strong one may be best to use on your clit. Check out the clit suction vibrators. If it's to be used on its own consider a very strong electric one or a rabbit style. If the budget allows, get a few. In a pinch use the non-brush side of an old electric toothbrush head. Don't hesitate to use a vibrator on your boyfriend or get one designed specifically for men. Most of all have fun.

[Emii_Urashima]

He should go online and look up some basic sex instruction videos. I know there are some girls out there that have a problem with having an orgasm from sex, but all of them claim that oral still gets them off. If you aren't having an orgasm from either one, then he is not doing a good job. How long does sex usually last for you? Does he stop as soon as he has his first orgasm?

[Asker]

About 20-30 mins. Sometimes it’s been as long as 1 hour and a half. Sometimes quicker but usually 30ish mins. He’s tried going down on me and it feels fucking amazing but he doesn’t stay down long enough. He’s tried rubbing me during certain positions, but, again, he doesn’t do it long enough.

[Emii_Urashima]

That is long enough to get you off. Have you tried different positions? I have a girl friend who says she can not get off if she is on top. I am the opposite. I have stronger orgasms that way. You have to find a position that works for you. When he goes down on you, you have to teach him. Tell him what is working and what isn't. Make him stay until he is done. Do this before you have sex. Tell him the new rule is that he has to get you off before he gets to play. 😆

[ChrisMaster69]

He should pitch in.

however don’t let him go buy it.

would you trust him going for shopping?

[Asker]

Yeah as long as he gets a safe one

[ChrisMaster69]

Personally buy it yourself with joint money. If you ask him for an 8 inch one it will be a guess if you get a 4 or a 12 lol

[Asker]

I just want something that vibrates. The one I wa a looking at is $95 dollars and another is $75

[Kayzer]

Wouldn't buying a vibrator ruin your sex life with him? You won't be looking at to you guys having sex. Have you tried looking into other products like - "Durex Intense Orgasmic Gel for Her"?

Have you had sex with your ex boyfriends and orgasmed? How long does your boyfriends last and is he girthy? There are too many other questions that I have cause I feel like that a vibrator isn't the answer in this case.

But if you do decide to get one, he can choose to gift you one or you can just guy it cause its for your pleasure.

[Asker]

I haven’t looked into the gel. I have had two exes for a short short while (maybe dated 3 months each) and I’ve never orgasmed with them. It’s hard for me to orgasm during sex. My boyfriend is pretty above average in dick size, and his girth is pretty girthy.

[Kayzer]

You don't need a vibrator. How long does it take before you orgasm? Can you message me here direct? I have a few questions still

[Asker]

Haha sorry I prefer to message you on my question board if that’s okay. I don’t really check my DMs. It depends. With my hands, maybe 15-20 mins. With a water faucet, maybe 8-10 mins. There have been times that I’ve gotten SO SO close to orgasming with him but then I say “I’m going to cum” and then he changes his speed and then I can’t do it.

[Kayzer]

Does he know that? He simply shouldn't change his speed or maybe you shouldn't say "I'm going to cum". Does he last throughout the course during penetration? For starters, let him make you cum before he cums because men loose the drive after cumming he won't be able to continue going but you women are fortunate in that case, so let him finish after you.

[Asker]

Okay thank you so much for your input. He does last and sometimes after we have sex he sex that he wishes he could last longer.

[Kayzer]

Go for the gel, tell him what is working for you and let him lick that clit longer. Once you get your first orgasm, let him fuck you. That's plain simple instructions haha

[Leavesbound]

I have found most women prefer to buy their own sex toys. I have offered to take women shopping for them and then just have them pick out one or two and I'd pay for them and only one took me up on the offer.

[AndyOh]

It would be nice if he pitched in and helped with the investment for you.
That is being a nice boyfriend.

[The_Maphio]

A vibrator is a very personal thing to own. As such you should be the one buying your toys, for it could very well survive your relationship and you'd end up enjoying it while alone. If it's not of your precise liking, you could have wasted money.

[kkirk4442]

If you don't have a job, and he does, he should pay for it. Unless you have a lot of cash stashed away. You having a vibrator will make his sex more enjoyable too.

[slatyb]

I would spend more and get something really good, like the Hitachi magic wand or the Eroscillator. My ex-girlfriend mostly couldn't climax from intercourse but the Eroscillator worked ever time. She was the best sex partner I've ever had.

[slatyb]

If I were your boyfriend and could afford it, I would definitely give it to you. They aren't all that expensive. Anything that makes my partner more eager for sex has to be good.

[Bricealan]

Simple answer, Do what my girlfriend and I did/do, if you are screwing, rub your clitoris until you orgasm. Don't be bashful, he will learn to live with that. Why a vibrator? You middle finger on your clitoris, and the index and third finger ( on the outside of the lips works just fine) I watch her, so I know which fingers where and how fast ( I pay close attention)

[beldath]

I read some of your responses. Tell him to go down longer. Do you masturbate during sex? I had a couple of ex's do that during.
There are also cheaper sex toys. You should just need clit stimulation during to finally get you off during.
You could also just be putting to much pressure on yourself, and causing yourself to have the issues by thinking about it.
Talk to someone with similar issues, try different positions, and tell him what feels good for you.

[andreasderjuengere]

For starters, you could rent one?

[humanearth]

You buy it

[MissyJ9876]

Did he ever go down on you

[Asker]

Yeah he has a few times

[MissyJ9876]

And you still didn't orgasm, then getting a vibrator is probably a good idea

[BobbyC65]

Go halfsies. 💞

[Wise4myage]

You should be the one who buys it, because whatever type you decide to buy, will outlast this relationship.

[Asker]

Hmm you don’t know that but thanks

[Wise4myage]

Correct, but it makes sense.

[Wiredone]

If he's a good boyfriend he would offer to buy you a vibrator.

[Mangospacho]

First of all, he used the word invest improperly because you do not invest in a vibrator, you buy one. Once you buy a vibrator, it depreciates 100% in value. Also, he needs to pitch in at least 20% of the cost because he is at least 20% responsible for this debacle.

[TallAnon]

It's for you to use, so for you to buy.

[Jwags]

Go together on a date night! Otherwise there is amazon

[Whtevernever]

You of course, or get a better boyfriend.

[DocJones]

First of all you don't need a vibrator to orgasm, but you definitely should get one. Does your boyfriend go down on you? Do you talk about what feels good to you and encourage him to do those things? To me it sounds like maybe he needs to put more effort into learning how to get you off. Ge should also tell you to rub yourself while having sex.
Ok the vibrator thing, go together to pick one out and if he can afford it he should pay. It can be so much fun going to a sex toy/lingerie shop as a couple. Have fun with it and get some advice from the person working there if needed.
Get some good lubricant, something sexy to wear, the toy you want and then go home and have fun. Also don't be afraid to pick out a big toy if that's what you want.