I’m really sad that I can’t orgasm during sex. Should my boyfriend try to get me off after sex?

[Anonymous]

I feel comfortable and safe with my boyfriend. We’ve been dating close to 5 months now. We usually have sex 3ish times a week. I have never orgasmed with him. I orgasm during masturbation only, pretty much. Everytime we have sex he always finishes, gets really tired, and wants to snuggle. I feel sad and depressed when this happens. I give up on myself a bit. I shame myself because I’m unable to orgasm during sex. I just lay there watching him experience an orgasm. I love to see him orgasm, don’t get me wrong, but I feel like our sex kinda has shifted focus a bit and he doesn’t really try to make me orgasm anymore. I feel like he’s kinda given up hope. He doesn’t make any effort after sex to get me off. He’s done a few things to try and make me orgasm to be fair: given me head before sex (wasn’t long enough to make me cum), fingering me (again, wasn’t long enough). I really want him to get me off. I don’t want to have to masturbate after he gets off... I don't know I’m just confused. By the way he usually lasts like 30 mins, which is long enough for most people I think. I guess I don’t want sex to turn selfish. I want to be able to be just as tired and sweaty as he is. I feel like I get female blue-balls. Should I have a talk with my boyfriend about it? Any tips will be helpful!

[kkirk4442]

Lots of women can't orgasm from penis in vagina. You boyfriend is being selfish, and inconsiderate. He should be finding ways to help you orgasm, fingering after sex, fingering during sex, trying different positions - sometimes a woman can orgasm when riding - cow girl - when no other position will work. There are positions where he can be in you and stroking, and also finger your clit at the same time. At times, even commonly, both can cum about the same time, with practice. He really needs to stop up his game, or you find a more considerate boyfriend.

[Angelo75]

Have you tried letting him make you cum first?
I usually let my girl orgasm first by licking or fingering her. And right at that moment that she's very sensitive after the first orgasm or two, i'll penetrate her.
She'll be creaming all over my cock while I cum in her and usually by doing it this way, we end up cumming together.

[Dargil]

Yes. Talk to him. Tell him you want him to bring you off orally or by hand BEFORE sex. Yes, I have routines for that. Then he can just hop on and do his best. You will still be aroused and will enjoy the ride.

[BarryLiverstone]

I’ve got a few ideas

[Asker]

Okay...

[BarryLiverstone]

Suggest spotlight sex. One night it’s all about him, you tease him, striptease, give him a massage, hand job and bj. Next night he does the same to you. And he uses fingers and sucks your clit until you cum

[BarryLiverstone]

Also during sex use a toy like a vibrator. Since he can stay hard for 30 min inside you about 20 min in add the toy on your clit and have him just stay still inside until you cum

[BarryLiverstone]

Masturbate in front of him a few times till you cum so he sees how to touch you and sees the signs you are about to release. Then he can do the same to you

[BarryLiverstone]

Overall tho he needs to make sure you orgasm at least once before his dick enters your pussy. You can have multiple orgasms and if you already came once can come again on his cock

[Asker]

You’re totally right. I agree. I need to tell him that I want to orgasm too and I want the spotlight once in a while. Everytime I give him the spotlight and i neglect my own needs. Thanks!!

[BarryLiverstone]

You are welcome. Yes, all the movies act like both people come at the same time but irl spot light sex is by far the most popular

[vald9inches]

How big is he?

[ND4SPD31]

Yeah u need to let him know that u want to cum too.

[ND4SPD31]

Communication is key for both of you for a good relationship.

[Pterodon]

Why haven’t you told him?

[Asker]

I’ve talked to him about it. I’ve told him that it’s very hard for me to come during sex, and he is really respectful about it.

[Pterodon]

Tell him what you need from him. Tell him to lick your pussy till you cum. This is partly your fault for not communicating

[Asker]

Yeah I just don’t want him to feel like I’m bossing him around. I do need to communicate better though, definitely right.

[Waldoe]

ask him to make you cum before he starts... after you cum he can get his... make him work for it

[townhouse]

Either way he should be trying his damned to make sure ur satisfied as well

[Anonymous]

You should definitely discuss it with him. You may want to try fingering yourself during intercourse to help get you off. Also, consider using a vibrator during or after. A lot of guys lose interest in sex as soon as they have an orgasm. He may have more motivation to get you off first.

[Anonymous]

What type of birth control are you using?