What do you think make people have fetishes or kinks?

[Anonymous]

• Do you think it’s something to do with how you grew up? For example having daddy issues causes ddlg? Or do you think it’s society? For example like society where girls legs are most admired instead of bust or butt so naturally people from there like legs or legs fetish/foot fetish or it has nothing to do with society or how you grew up and it’s just individual thing?

• I think I am in to ddlg 🙈🤭 I do have slight daddy issues but he is nice too then I don’t know why I have it 🤷🏻‍♀️🤔
• What are your fetishes or kinks? and why do you think you have it?

[HugoThe2nd]

Various reasons.
Some fetishes are simply just forms of sexual expression, other fetishes are fixations that form during sexual development but there are also those that are maladaptive and potentially harmful manifestations of pathological psychiatry.

There is no real consensus on DD/LG, the popular interpretations of "daddy issues" are largely based on Freudian theories of psychosexual development, which have been long since discredited as ramblings of a madman who projected his own fixations onto his patients.
Contemporary research shows that BDSM, extreme submission and the associated kinks have no real correlation with any "psychological issues" or post-traumatic behavior.

Some fetishes definitely have to do with "society", though.
Taboo, shame and guilt over sexual expression are thought to be common motivators behind kinks, especially of the extreme submission kinds (for example rape fantasies).

I'm not sure if mine is a kink.
I simply enjoy being sexually desired, I may go to inappropriate lengths to seek that satisfaction, but I'm not sure if that counts as a kink.

Why? Abandonment issues maybe?
I definitely didn't have the most affectionate childhood, lol.

[Asker]

Yea that’s why I asked this question to know what people think but yea it’s complicated like some people starts to search (because of bad childhood) more violence and some search safety so it’s kind of individual thing... I think yours might be kink too because somewhere I also crave to be desired a lot maybe that’s why I wanna be little girl that the dom daddy will spoil respect and protect at all costs, I am one man woman so he too should be only one woman man, only my man ☺️

[ChrisMaster69]

I think a number of fetishes and kinks we do get as we grow and develop.

I know for me bondage started as a young teen tying up my girl neighbour.

it can be one singular event or multiple that reinforces the fetish.

they are in the most part normal and safe (up to a point).

other fetishes and kinks we learn with others, we meet a partner who has one, we share ours and grow together pushing each other’s limits.

With DDlg, the reasons can be strange and not always our own fathers, simply a father figure that made us happy or feel safe, or we respected and or had a crush on.

for an ex of mine it was an uncle and a brief period of time, but it just influenced her enough to have one.

I have a number some I’m happy to put others part of role play.

Bondage, Pet Play, Corsetry, Role Play, and other stuff lol.

[Asker]

Why do you think you might have these fetishes? I think I do have reasons for mine as you said might be true as my mom has been father figure for me but I am straight so I think that’s why I want manly strong guy who will always protect and understand me like my mom do actually way more than my mom can because I want more masculinity in my life which I lack because I don’t have brother, he simply being opposite of me/feminine turns me on like broader, taller, short hair, brave and all but it’s weird how having unsafe childhood make some girls like me or some girls starts to like unsafty more which I don’t understand 🤷🏻‍♀️

[ChrisMaster69]

At some level we react to the unsafe side of things by our brain wanting to have the same chemical release and out ourselves at risk again or at least by trying to simulate that risk. Not quite self harm but not far off it at times, it can get very psychological in how it works, I have very specific points in my early childhood that I know set me down this route. Which I am not going to go in to on an open question lol. We have things occur that because at times our brains are sadistic twats and our other person inner voice wants, we end up reenacting a lot of what occurred, either by having it done to ourselves or to others with a similar leaning. Even among ‘normal’ BDSM munches there is a level of acceptance, a lot of DDlg, DMlg, DDlband DMlb are often seeprate events, especially if dressing up or if specific theme rooms are required. As mentioned by @ez-bri-z there are varying levels / degrees to it, pretty much as there are with most kinks / fetishes. Whenever kinks n fetishes come up I always try not to judge as one person kink is another’s perversion. Places like Fetlife do have more details and info on this type of thing. Obviously I am limiting what I say as I am not anon for this lol.

[Asker]

Lol you could answer anon too but you already answered lot i appreciate... so are u sadist or maso? If you don’t mind answering... I am not into sadism neither I am maso instead I am very vanilla but apparently it’s not considered vanilla, in masculine feminists world I feel lost little girl searching for daddy, I have home money friends hobbies yet I want guiding daddy (even if I don’t need guidance in life ykwim) not lot of people understand that 😓 yes I wanna be spoiled Little innocent baby girl that already I am without judgement so only dominant daddy can understand that... isn’t fetlife dating site? I guess? That’s what I heard people said on gag 🤷🏻‍♀️ I don’t believe in dating sites, I don’t think one can ever find pertner for life on dating sites specially on bdsm site I am sure often it’s only short term living fetish life people who don’t want any commitment 😣

[ChrisMaster69]

Lol, you could of messaged, however here goes. I’ve been a Dom since forever but let’s say 25, I’m not into to sadism, however if you have a sub that is in to masochism, you have a slight dilemma. This is where Trust comes in to it, Trust comes before obedience, that is really really important. Both trust and respect go hand in hand, along with a very tight emotional bonding. But it’s trust and respect that any D must have for the other person, without it, it’s dangerous and simply abuse. Not everyone is compatible, simply because someone is a Dom, does not mean any sub will be happy with them. It is the sub that is in control, they control start, pausing, stops, what the rules and guidelines are etc. It’s about Informed Consent ( used to be a great site, now looks at legal and acceptance side of BDSM). But as with all sex it’s about consent, in the case of BDSM, you clearly inform the other what is allowed and limits etc. As for kinks, Kitten Play among others.

[Asker]

Sorry I don’t private message here, never, that’s why I am always anon😅 ... yea trust respect consent actually that’s my fetish as I said I dream of someone I can highly respect, I do have loving people around me but not necessarily I have respect for, very few people understand that respect is not about how high your job or income is, it’s all about maturity and emotional bonding which lot of people lack in today’s world 😓😅 it’s really weird how other than my mom everyone literally everyone betrayed cheated I think that’s why I have this fetish or kink... what is kitten play? First time hearing it 🤔

[ChrisMaster69]

Kitten play.

https://kitten-play.com/what-is-kitten-play/

https://kittensandkink.com/

It’s part of pet play, some girls like different pets such as puppies

[Asker]

Oh haha so it’s like pet play but I don’t have pet play but I have been called kitten many times because apparently i look like one lol or as I said I am little girl that’s why I guess, I don’t mind my dom calling me kitten as long as he treats me like human, eating with only mouth on floors walking on four not my thing 😅 does kitten play involve that? Kitten sounds too loving ☺️ Haha

[ChrisMaster69]

@ pinky Anon, thank you most appreciated and if you ever want to break your rule, feel free to message me, unless of course you are bluffing and we already chat 👀👀

[Asker]

Haha thank you and lol no i am not bluffing I never have chat here in private, but I have seen u on my other questions too which are also anon I am always anon 😷

[ChrisMaster69]

Lmao, I hope I perform okay on your other questions lol

[Asker]

Lol coincidentally I have choosed you mho on other question too 🙃

[ChrisMaster69]

Lol, I gracefully bow and thank you my lady

[Asker]

Haha welcome have a nice day/night ^^

[ChrisMaster69]

Uk, day the joys And you to, You need to hint if you are THAT pinky Anon if I reply lol

[Asker]

Hehe erm... Maybe ☺️ Depends on question because I am too shy 🙈 let’s see 😏

[ChrisMaster69]

Shy? Lol you are Anon hehe

[Asker]

Yea but I shy away from too open convo, I am too shy that’s why when curious about things that I can’t ask anyone in person but asking here anonly too my hands sometimes can't lol I am just weird 🙈😅

[ChrisMaster69]

Aww Anon hugs for Anon

[Asker]

Hehe lol

[Ez-Bri-Z]

Hard to say really other than a particular moment or set of moments that reinforced a positive feedback in a person's mind that eventually developed into a sexual desire.

My dad ignored us basically and treated women as their only purpose was to serve the guys. I think its what turned me off from ever being with a man physically. Then about a month ago I started talking to a guy online and eventually we became friends with benefits (voice only). He was into playing the daddy role. I didn't understand it at first but over the last few weeks it has definitely hit me the right way and I am into it now. Still wouldn't be with him in person though.

[Asker]

Oh interesting, I also have similar family history like you maybe that’s why... I don’t remember when I got into it. It’s not necessary to call him daddy but someone stronger masculine that I can respect and blindly trust and someone who will respect the fact that I am naturally submissive and feminine and I highly respect him that’s why I listen to him... unfortunately I am unable to find guy like this around me 🥺

[Ez-Bri-Z]

I wasn't even trying to find mine. I got drunk one night in our group chat and when drunk I get very giggly and flirty. He was super into it and things progressed from there. I am sure there are a lot of guy who think they could fill that role for you but it's completely a trust thing not a power trip. Make sure when you do start you set very clear boundaries and communicate often outside the roles. Basically don't settle for less than your worth just to get someone into the role 😊

[Asker]

Yea trust is very important and maturity, one who is not into just power games but actually dom daddy hehe hopefully I will find one🤞🏻😌 thank you so much for advice I will keep it in mind... have a nice day/night god bless you ^^🙌🏻

[ohshee]

I have a few Kinks to , and maybe a fetish
I think for me I have a very deep sexual drive but I want to feel every emotion I want to feel every touch and when I touch somebody I want them to feel the same thing to, let's pretend like the daddy deal the first time did I just called Daddy I said wait a minute wait wait wait that just wasn't going to get because I have a daughter and I just couldn't wrap my head around it or anyting it was explained to me a few times that that's not what it means blah blah blah but the more she kept doing it after laughing a few times I can see a difference if my voice got a little bit Stern and from there it was on I also believe that we have an energy within us they can touch people without even touching them and when you can connect two Energies together it's just unreal, I used to role play I never thought I would do that either not in a million years but once I did it great so I don't know I think basically I know the reason why I do it is because it turns me on can I get to be myself but play somebody else and then you can kind of is your partner are yourS/O Girlfriend, friend , DWB WHO EVER IF you can get them all wound up it's pretty hot I don't know this for the fact but some of the girls that have Daddy fetishes I think it's pretty hot so let me ask you how come you think you have a daddy fetish or a daddy kink

[Asker]

For me I always had it I don’t consider it fetish or kink but apparently it is, I am extremely shy giggly tickly blushing girl who is always happy, I respect everyone care for every one, I am a late bloomer, people wouldn’t believe or think I am creepy 😣 but though I had crushes since age of 12 yet there wasn’t anything physical (ykwim?) only few years ago when I got to know some things I thought I am ace but no it’s just I guess I am demi maybe? I don't know... being cheated on and lots of betrays made me more vulnerable, power is never something that I seek, I don’t want to be top of world screaming I am best I am power, no, I am human yea sometimes I am dumb sometimes I am angry but i always have thought good about everyone, and I love, so one who appreciate that I am giving my love to him, blindly trusts him, without judging him, accept him as he is, he understanding that and being with me because he loves me, if I make mistake corrects me without useless arguing, one who talks less but on point, who listens to all my random topics, i talk a lot, sometimes shuts me sweetly, one who is more braver taller broader than me, basically opposite of me, not shy, silent, confident, brave, even I have kink for short hair (on guys) 🙈 because it’s also opposite of me I never like having short hair because I am feminine I want him to be masculine in every way, the only thing I don’t like masculine is face and body hair though 😅 other than that the only thing similar between him and I is that we love each other and we both opposite complete each other... so it’s not exactly fetishised or kink but I am willing to accept his way by being submissive as long as he is not sadist (I am my maso) I want him to be gentle and warm my safe place 😌🙌🏻🤞🏻

[ohshee]

I think that's very beautiful do you send private messages you should send me a private message I'd like to chat with you

[Asker]

Sorry, no I don’t private chat 😅 but thank you so much 😊

[ohshee]

Welcome

[sheikalana]

Their imagination and curiosity.

[Asker]

Not always

[Iron_Man]

What is ddlg?

[Ez-Bri-Z]

Daddy dom/little girl. Basically him in control and saying things like she is a good girl when she does what he asks. There are varying degrees to it.

[Iron_Man]

oh ok thanks

[curator]

Imagination

[Asker]

No it’s not imagining it’s also motive behind imagination like girl would never imagine rape but some girls do not just causally but it’s their kink, so that’s why it got me thinking 🤔

[curator]

Maybe it's the porn that's influencing their minds

[Asker]

I don’t watch porn but have seen movies like that I think it’s about mentality whether you start liking it or avoiding it

[curator]

That's true and that's a fact sone people like slow passionate sex some like to do it rough and wild it's all based on how you get your orgasm and pleasure :)

[Anonymous]

Environment you grow up in, people who at some point were part of your life and your own curiosity

[Anonymous]

I have a fixation on female pee. I have had it since elementary school. A girl and I used to play doctor and I watched her from inches away when she as on the toilet and I have liked it ever since. Since then, girls have peed before or after sex and I would act like I was peeking. Some would close the door, others would spread their legs wider to show me and I would kneel down and watch.

[Asker]

That’s little 🙈🤭 but I won’t judge... Why do you think you might have developed it?

[Anonymous]

I dont really know. I'm into women and I have like older women who take control almost like a reverse ddlg in some sense.

[ChrisMaster69]

That’s fairly common, by chance it’s called MDlg amazing how they worked the name out. At a meet you will often have both including the lb for each Dom type.