What is there to really enjoy in your 20s before having kids?

Question

I hear people mention it all the time. I also hear people who had kids too early say that they regret not having enjoyed their 20s. So like what is there to really enjoy about the 20s age range? I was never a partier. I was never into the sex and one night stands. I wasnr crazy about playing sports professionally. I’m not big on traveling the world (just my country). I was a successful nerd in school and enjoyed being teachers pet. I also had a way with the boys and enjoyed flirting around. But aside from work/school/home life and just being happy to be alive, i never saw what was so enjoyable in the 20s to the point that having kids before the age of 30 would set me back? Is it just a financial thing for most? I mean, if you saved up for what you really want in life (parenthood included), then i dont see how its a problem. But hey thats just my opinion and experience with it
#FeelFreeToList #BabyFever

Sangita93 · Accepted Answer

Under the influence of this question and site, most girls and guys will think of sex, but there are many more things to do – at least once. You have all life for sex, once you start enjoying it with your love. I do thank my parents and friends, that I have done a lot, and that I am mature for my age, and never have any feeling of regret to take over my life later on. Sometimes I was taking life too seriously, but I do not want to look back several years from now and wonder why I was so “serious” when I was younger - These years were supposed to be the golden time of my life. Traveling alone can teach one a lot about themselves. I visited new places on my own time frame several times for about a week. It was as romantic as traveling round the world with a backpack. Most teenagers do not have perfect relationship with their family, but as an adult, I was always trying to reconnect with some relatives and established strong relationships with my family. When I got my first job, I swept away by the money aspect, but what was it that I want to do? At college, many motivational speakers delivered lectures on “Determine your life goals” or “What are your life goals?” This was definitely a big thing to do in my 20s. Learning a new language can be hard, but it is well worth it. I learnt several languages just for fun, and now I can read, write and speak six languages enough well, and for several others, I can understand enough well. As a person in your 20s, things are probably changing drastically. Spending time with friends whom you care about is very supportive, and I was happy to have some good friends. Sometimes finances get in the way of owning some property, but if you try to dream for it, you can learn a lot about your capacity and planning skills. You will be surprised! At this age you want to do something crazy, and it is normal, if you do not – you are not normal. Do something crazy, it is a great fun. Have you ever done a marathon? Try it one now! Girls love cooking, for herself and her loved one. I learned cooking from my mother, grandmother and many more relatives and friends. Now everybody surprise for my skills. I was a scout girl in school and that encourage me to be a volunteer for social groups. I occasionally dedicate one full day to doing nice things for strangers. It was very difficult to go offline for one day, but as a challenge I leave my cell phone at rest home and laptop closed. I have enjoyed camping, and always wanted to as well. Say “Yes” to everything for a certain length of time, and do it. But most important thing my grandfather taught me was “Make friends with your neighbors”. Pick what you like most and find out something more like it. It is a great thing.

HOAAH · Accepted Answer

in my 20s, I finished college. Then I had my first freedom to do whatever I want at 22, where I moved to a new state away from my parents. I rented a place with my own money. I made my own friends who did not know my parents. I went out to eat and spent my money the way I saw fit. I was spending my time and dating boys after boys. It was fun. I went out clubbing for the first time in my life. I had a guy over for the first time in my life. I drank alcohol, I danced, I partied my life away. It was only for 2 years though as I met my husband and he wanted to marry me RIGHT AWAY. So I married him at 24 and we traveled all over Italy, Germany, Switzerland, France, Spain... etc (oh we went to Hawaii together as well). I was only for 2 years though, as I had gotten pregnant and I had my 1st at 27 and my 2nd at 29. There went my 20s. And that's how I enjoyed my 20s. It was fun. I wouldn't have done it any other way :).
Then my 30s... hahahahah

REALSTEEL · Accepted Answer

well it all depends on your work trade me i was a private duty Registered Nurse so That was the best job I had in my entire life in. my 20's i traveled to 32 states out of 52 been to Alaska bedn in a private helicopter went parasailing, sky diving white water rafting bungie jumping so did all that on my days off with the residents families i was talking care off so if i die tomorrow i had a pretty good life only thing never accomplished was having a family but im not complaining GOD has been good too me

Maspolomas · Accepted Answer

Most of your friends are still partying and your raising kids but in twenty years you’ll still be young enough to enjoy life after they move out and your friends are now raising them and you can be like I’m going to the Caribbean

Truthbewithyou · Answer

It's the time you have to yourself because you get to decide how you want to spend it.

After kids, your time is shared.

You have to be up by 6am to get your child up and ready to be at school on time. You have to rush your kid to the emergency room at 2 am in the morning because they've decided to swallow a penny. You have to throw out the new detergent you just bought because four loads later the ingredients gave your child a rash. You have to find a meal replacement because what you just cooked for 3 hours your child doesn't like. You have to buy a new set of clothes because everything they use to be able to wear is now too little. You have to share your bed almost every night because no matter how hard you try, your child is too scared to sleep in their own room. You have to get up at 7 on your day off on the weekend to fix breakfast because your kids are up and they are hungry. There's more but you get the point.

Stuff like this is nonexistent in your child free 20s.

jennifer_bloom · Answer

I did not party or sleep around but I spent my 20s dining at restaurants and watching movies and attending concerts and not worrying about my career and now I see I made a huge mistake cause most of my old friends are medical professionals or Ivy League graduates and all I have is a bachelors degree from a top school. I also lost almost all of my old friends because they view me as beneath their level now, including one best friend that I loved more than my own family.

heatherlou · Answer

You've listed loads of reasons- they may not apply to you, but they do to many others. Lots of people want to party, have evenings to enjoy with freedom, travel the world, buy expensive things etc - before they have the responsibility of caring for a child.

And similarly - lots of people don't feel the need for any of that.

loves2learn · Answer

Travel, freedom, SLEEP.

wingattebaby16 · Answer

i think it is the "loss" of free time most people are talking about.

I have so many responsibilities now that i have kids.. and a husband.

i work 7 days a week, 10-12hrs a day, and dont get paid for it... but i chose this life.

I would so love to sit by the pool all day, get a tan, and not have some kids or teenager splash me, or "mommy, she pulled my hair" or have some squeeky toy pounce on me or have toy cars run all over me..

I would the freedom to get drunk some night, and not have to worry about the hangover the next day.

I miss going to clubs, dancing, partying, drinking, and picking the random girl or guy to take home or just go make out in the back seat of their car.

aarnasen · Answer

I'm about to turn 20 soon and don't really have much planned yet. I was thinking maybe travel around the country, and maybe some foreign countries with friends and family. I also hope to teach English literature, and I guess maybe find some things to enjoy along the way. Lowkey perhaps read every single book and cook every single dish known to humankind who knows?

weysally · Answer

travel and meet people from all over the world, before you settle down, because unless your in a good paying job children will curtail things

MCheetah · Answer

Having energy
Not feeling tired all the time
Working out and ACTUALLY losing weight
Healthy sex drive
Active sex life (if you're female and/or super-attractive)

Even if you're not a partier (I never was), you shouldn't take your youth and energy for granted. By your mid 30s, life hits you like a f*cking Semi truck! Not exactly a "gradual downfall" like you'd assume. No, your body just goes to sh*t between 33 and 37.

midnightmoon05 · Answer

In my 20s was fun and it’s due to my choices of life and risks I took.
I never plan out my life... life took me to where I am.
I was a foreign exchange student in college. Those few months. I met people, I learn about life.
I worked, I finished my college, I travelled, I did go to bars and parties but not to get drunk (I have alcohol tolerance). I only heard of friends with benefits and all those crazy stories after I joined GAG.
the people I met and kept have similar life goals/value/interests...
I took opportunities to meet and learn from others. I grew and became wiser with what I want in life or from a partner.
marriage/kids wedding planning were never in my mind.
to enjoy life is to love life.
I completed my undergrad, worked, continued with my masters then met my future husband. Took more classes to obtain top pay. traveled more. Married because that’s what his mom wanted.
we had lots of friends, friends with similar passion in life and growth and are innovative. We decided to have first child because his grandfather was diagnosed with cancer... so my daughter made him great grand father before he died.
what I did in life or in my 20s is to keep and open mind to live life...
the more we think/plan how things might turn out... it’s often the opposite.

ArrowheadSW · Answer

Just my thoughts... I think someone who would say this kind of regrets having kids regardless. It sounds like they didn't enjoy having kids.

And having kids certainly isn't for everyone. I never thought it would be for me.

Apple1996 · Answer

I'm not too sure I had my kids early and dont regret them at all. My life has been much more thrilling with them than it was without them. And plus I can't imagine being 30+ and being pregnant or raising kids. I have energy for them now in my 20s so might as well take full advantage of being able to do fun stuff with them before I get older.

electromagnetic · Answer

Think I’ve done it all.
Finished School, travelled extensively, tasted men and food, partied in the most dingiest and dodgiest of places, caught covid.
You’re really making me consider having those kids now.

Leavesbound · Answer

Here is my suggestion. Make a "bucket list" of all the fun things you think you might like to do before you die, places to visit, activities to engage in. Then break them down into two smaller lists, those things you think you would like to do before marriage and those things you think you'd like to do later in life, perhaps when children are grown or at retirement. Then you will have your answer.

Lyndsielee666 · Answer

I didn’t miss much. My best friend is their god mom so I still hangout with her ass much, if not more than when I had my kids.

Jjpayne · Answer

You get to be young and youthful with them rather than be someone they can't relate to.. kinda like the gilmore girls

Ellie-V · Answer

You don’t have to party and do a bunch of silly nonsense to enjoy your 20’s. Simply putting yourself first and taking care of your immediate needs and desires is what makes pre-baby days valuable.

GingerGuy · Answer

I think just the freedom in general. Not so much the "crazy" things, just being able to do whatever, whenever you want to. Kids totally changes that. You can't think of yourself anymore (or shouldn't lol).

just_a_potato · Answer

I never understood why people say that, I'm told that every time I bring up my life goals. But I already know my 20s will consist of school and working, there is nothing I would rather be doing than having kids in my 20s. I am a modern housewife lol.

Avicenna · Answer

Traveling internationally is a LOT easier without kids, and so is focusing on your career.

DJB72 · Answer

I'm 49. My son is 2. Have kids while you're young enough to really enjoy it. There's time for travel etc after they leave home. I'll be 70 before my son finishes college.

What is there to really enjoy in your 20s before having kids?

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