Sex with a friend: did it ever "ruin" your friendship?

[HugoThe2nd]

One of the bigger sexual no-nos for many seems to be the concept of engaging in physical relations with one's friends.

Some believe that such interactions are no good, as there is just no way sex can, possibly, result in either party not falling for the other romantically.

Some may even go as far as to get offended over the idea that their friends may find them sexually attractive or even make the claim that agreeing to such relations automatically means you must not "value your friendship" or your friends, in general.

I can't say I emphasize with such stances, but at the same time, confessions of users on this site have already managed to expand my horizons, so to say, and motivated me to try and be more wary of what may and may not be deemed consequential in different people's minds.

Do you tend to engage with your friends sexually?
Have you ever regretted doing so?
Do you have any disaster stories that would undoubtedly discourage everyone from doing so?
Or are you simply opposed to the idea altogether, because you believe it's no way to define either a friendship or a romance?

[JudgeFreeZone]

Oh hell yes I love this topic, get ready for a long post...
Firstly Im going to answer your questions as simply as I can, then I'm going to give you personal experiences.

"Do you tend to engage with your friends sexually?"
Yes I have had sex with my friends, but it never is something planned or a habit, it happens almost always spontaneously.

"Have you ever regretted doing so?"
I am not the type of person to regret any experience, but there have been times where it had a bad outcome, which I learned from.

"Do you have any disaster stories that would undoubtedly discourage everyone from doing so?"
Nothing has been a disaster, because I see it from a different perspective. But there are some instances I would have been better off not having sex.

"Are you simply opposed to the idea altogether, because you believe it's no way to define either a "friendship or a romance?"
Absolutely not, in fact, I believe in some situations, sex with friends can be healing and beautiful, do to the amount of intimacy and knowledge you get from the other person.

Now, on to my top 3 experiences.
A little background on me, I was born and raised in a European country, as an islander. This means sex wasn't taboo, and people in my country are flirtatious and sexual by nature. It is more of a form of language, and we aren't conservative.

My first sexual experiences were with friends. I was a tomboy when I was young, so most of my friends were guys and I was very comfortable with them. Being a teenager filled with hormones and also being curious, I got the courage to ask one of my really close guy friends if he could teach me how to kiss. And he agreed, so we met up and we sat on a bench and laughed and giggled and he showed me how to kiss. He didn't take advantage of me, he didn't pressure me to do anything else, instead, we had fun, and I learned how to kiss.

A year later, when I felt ready to have sex, I asked a different buddy of mine if he would be comfortable taking my virginity. After us talking about it for a week, and him making sure I was confident with my choice, we set up a date. He was a gentleman, letting me make all the moves, taking his time, letting me know I can stop at any point time. He was a sweetheart and by far the best decision I made to lose my virginity.

Next as an adult, I had a really good friend (Let's call him B) of mine who was suffering. His father was dying from cancer and he had a couple of months left to live. B's brother was also a shithead and addicted to drugs. B also had a very bad experience with a toxic girlfriend that made him lose all his confidence. So I ended up becoming really close to B. To the point where I would sleep at his house, being his friend, his shoulder to cry on, his buddy to drink with and talk about problems. After a month of us constantly spending time together, we had sex. It was spontaneous but at the same time, it wasn't because we were romantic. It was because through me he found a form of stability. A person he can release stress with. A person who can hold some of his weight and pain. We loved each other as friends, but not as partners. Through me, he found his strength, and we continued to have sex and long conversations. B's father ended up passing away, and I stay at his house that entire month, helping him and his brother get on their feet. This was 6 years ago, and we are still amazing friends.

Of course I have had many more experiences. But those are the top three (positive ones). If you want more, feel free to ask.

[HugoThe2nd]

Thank you for sharing your experiences! I tend to agree. Apart from friends with benefits arrangements, most of my encounters with friends were spontaneous. And when they weren't, it was them typically coming to me for a reason- such as allowing them to engage in a kink that they weren't comfortable or safe doing with a hookup, or something that required specifically that I was someone close they trusted (BDSM MFM). The me being their friends part and having a certain connection with them was a green light for us getting physical in the first place. Quite unlike the "meaningless taking advantage of each other" as sex with friends is often interpreted by some. There was the odd incident where I simply had sex with a friend while I was crashing at their place overnight, but even during those times the world didn't fall apart, and the most damning aspect wasn't the fact that we were friends but the fact that we may have been a bit drunk.

[AmandaYVR]

I voted A. As many options as you provided, not sure if this exactly applies.
I dated a guy for a bit, but we both soon knew we weren't right for each other. But it was fun for a bit.
Then his obstinacy drove me crazy. We disagreed on a lot of things (what movies to see, what restaurants to eat at - he was vegan, etc.) and I found he always wanted to get his way, though he claimed it was the opposite (he needed to learn the definition of compromise.)
Anyway, we remained friends. Attraction was always there. (He was a performer, in many ways - actor, model, exotic dancer; though he ended up in another line of work, teaching.) And sometimes we slipped into more than that... and had a great time. The sex was fun because we knew each other so well. It still had elements of 'Uh oh, what did we just do last night' but we could laugh about it, and it definitely did not end the friendship.

This might be a different scenario than being just friends first, nothing more.
I think that's complicated, and could go either way.
But for me, I can separate playful sex from meaningful sex. I don't do stranger sex, but I understand these other two, very well.

[ShedzJo4322]

You can do whatever like masturbate infront of each other, walk naked shower together. But don't put dick anywhere in her

[exitseven]

I had a friend that wanted it to be more but the timing was wrong. Things got weird with us afterwards.

[Riebeck]

The best relationships start as friendships

[sammy1999]

i have a couple guy ang girl friends i ve been with and we still hang out all good its up to the one s doing it