Does Your Sexual History Matter?

[Anonymous]

[OlderAndWiser]

If the choices are simply "yes" or "no," then the answer is "yes." But the real answer is "maybe." I am 66 years old. Suppose that I meet a woman who is 57 years old and her number is 7. Is that number a deal breaker?

1. What if she had 6 partners when she was in her teens and early 20's, then met and married her husband? She was always faithful to him. He died two years ago. She has dated very little since his death and has not had any sexual partners sine her husband died. Is she a serious minded woman who takes relationships seriously? If we have a sexual relationship, will it be just a casual encounter or will she treated it as an expression of love in a committed relationship?

2. What if she married her high school sweetheart, the man to whom she gave her virginity and they were married until he died two years ago. She was always faithful to him. She didn't date for a year after his death, then she started dating and kinda "went crazy," having 6 sexual partners in the last year. Is she a serious minded woman who takes relationships seriously? If we have a sexual relationship, will it be just a casual encounter or will she treated it as an expression of love in a committed relationship?

If you are looking for a significant long term relationship, the most important thing to know about a partner is his or her attitude about sex now. For them, is sex a recreational activity, fun just for the sake of fun, or is it an act of love between two committed partners? If they had a wild time in their past but you sincerely believe that they have changed their ways and are now ready for love and commitment, then the past number is not too relevant. If they had a wild time and it was more recent, that makes it more probable that they may still have that wild, recreational sex attitude. So. . . it depends.

[Asker]

I know there are situations to think about and to take into consideration but most of the time NOPE

[Achilles1]

Definitely matters.
Definitely don't want to be married to someone that's already shared intimate experiences with other guys, as it's no longer going to be a big deal to her, when she has one with me.

The people saying ''it shouldn't matter, don't judge me'' (LOL), are saying that because they are simply insecure about their own past.
As for why guys aren't judged, that's up to females. If females aren't going to critique men that sleep around, but than complain that men aren't been judged, than that's on them to start doing that.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

If it's just for sex, no..
If people are just randomly casually hooking up I don't think they really care about that, as long as STD test and condoms,
If it's for a relationship, yes..
It's not the how many, as much as the how...
I personally wouldn't want a relationship with someone who had a history of having multiple partners where they were playing em all at once.
Or someone that has a history of cheating.
Or someone that had knocked up multiple people and either convinced them to abort or have multiple baby momma's..
How you treat/treated other people in the past can definitely be a reflexion on your character, how trustworthy or how reliable, responsible of a person you are...

[btbc92]

If it didn't matter I wouldn't be a virgin to this very day. It sure as hell matters. If a guy didn't care about mine I would know that's a red flag. Because that usually means he's going to attract women that I'm not only incompatible with him but it's probably going to use him, or he's going to need to treat me. Either way I'm not going to be foolish enough to find out. And while I am not biased thinking that all good men of virgins and all bad men are not. I also look at the person's character. A non-virgin has never been my ideal. But he thinks there's nothing wrong with it that's where the problem comes in.

[sarahemilyyy]

Yes... Virgin men are usually less exposed to hook up cultures... And I'm not someone who do hook ups either.. So we're good. And I can really hope that I'll be his first and last.

[btbc92]

But here's the thing though. Be careful who you get yourself involved with. Just because they are virgins not all of them share the same values and desires as you. They will sometimes waiting it out if it means that they still get something in the end of it. Remember it is about the person's intent. I have met plenty of Virgin Hunters as well as I had met virgins who were not compatible with me because they did not share the same values. And trust me when I say, just because you have similar beliefs, it doesn't always mean you were equally yoked.

[sarahemilyyy]

Virgin hunters? First time hearing this..

[btbc92]

Yeah I'm sorry to tell you. But the most I can say on it is educate you want it. Virgin Hunters is exactly what the term means. They are they are Hunters who are hunting virgins. These are people who actively seek out virgin simply because of the benefits of what they feel a virgin can give them. They are not concerned about her welfare, their only concern but what they can gain. You can pretty much consider it the male equivalent of a gold digger. Except, did not go digging for money, there gold digging for sex. And sadly I come to find out there are even virgin men who are the same. I had to learn this sadly around your age many years ago. I don't know if the term has changed much now or not. But that's exactly what they're called. If a man really loved and cared about a woman, sex would not be a priority. They are not married to you to make that a priority in the first place. Their goal at that point is to love and to value you for you. Because they cannot find themselves Living Without You, then their reason to be with you is because of what you can benefit them sexually. That's why I always tell people be it if it's a man or woman. Particularly women. If a woman did not understand or concern about sex, she would not be dating you in the first place or want to be married. That's what I tell men all the time. And yet their focus is getting just that.

[btbc92]

Educate you on it*

[sarahemilyyy]

I see.. Yes I'm so agree with you 💕

[btbc92]

That's why you got to be careful with them. Their goal is to basically deflower you. They are not looking to wait for marriage to have sex. Even if they do, they go so basically to do the same thing. They just wait until marriage to control you with it. That's why a lot of women don't want to wait for marriage now because they don't see the point. The problem is that they're not doing themselves any favors if they're having sex inside of marriage anyway. Also, some of the girls already know what kind of guys they are. But because they're so desperate to change the guy, instead of getting a person that's already shares those values that is the reason why they end up with it end up. The same with men.

[sarahemilyyy]

Yeah I just want a guy who's willing to settle with me not for a short time.. And that shows how much he loves me. I must see the commitment tho.. I need to test him before that and actually evaluate his personality. Might want to study psychology 😂🙈

[btbc92]

You're welcome. Just be careful out there.

[btbc92]

Oh you definitely want to study up on all of that. Definitely learn all that you can before you make those decisions. But I tell you now. If they are not a friend to you, if the relationship isn't natural, 9 out of 10 times it's exactly that. A man has to see you as a friend and not look at you any other way. If he's unable to do that then that's exactly what he's looking for.

[Djaay]

Don't you have any faith with God hooking u up with a good man?

[btbc92]

Wait, what? It's not about hooking up anyting. It should never be about that. It should be about do you have a rational and logical reason to be involved with a person sexually in the first place. It's about all you called to mash all you're not called to marriage. You don't just get married or be involved with anybody if you have no personal business being in it. Not only are you supposed to be representing the things of God, you supposed to set an example of God. Remember would Jesus have said. There are those that are called to marriage. And there's those that are not. And then there are those that make themselves eunuchs for the sake of the Kingdom. It's not a personal desire of yours to marry, it is not a sin to not get married. But as long as I'm not fornicating outside of marriage, then I'm fine. And plus God had already said that if I don't want to, I don't have to. It's my choice the same as a choice of everybody else. From what I've been through my entire life so far, I was not told by anybody or should I say regarding that that I was called to marriage. I have more than enough people to try to basically force that on me because that's what they think that I should do. But there are plenty of other people who I can see definitely desires that, but they don't feel the same way of telling them that. And from what I am seeing in this world alone be if a man is supposed to be a God or not, no way. I say for myself definitely I cannot handle marriage and I cannot handle the responsibilities of it. I don't want enough trauma and dealing with people and Men especially be online or offline have done enough to me as it is. God knows why and I'm leaving it at that. All I know is I am well aware that God is really not happy with those who did what they did.

[btbc92]

I find it really sad that a lot of people do not put the same amount of respect for God when it comes to this. People are too busy asking God to supposedly hook them up with somebody and that is not what that's for. People really need to put their focus on God. The two concerned with worldly things and then not concerned about spiritual things. Many people are asking for spouses and they haven't think about what will make them grow first in their singleness before they are ready to be looking for a permanent partner. And from what I am seeing with a lot of men is claiming to be interested, their focus is not on the Lord. Their focus is simply trying to get somebody sexually. My priority is God. My priority is getting my salvation in order. My priority is not a man.

[Djaay]

My priority is glorifying the lord. Then to save as many souls as I can in Jesus's name , then to exploit demons with the lords help. I'm not at all attracted to the things of this world either. The world is nothing but a dung heap.

[btbc92]

@Djaay You have to remember something. You have to consider your salvation first. It is not you to save many Souls. It is through Jesus who can. You have to have the power to do so, because if you do not have the power and authority to do so, then you're just playing with spiritual things you should not be playing with. There is a reason why some people are given certain abilities and certain gifts and there are others who do not have it. It does not mean you don't pursue it, but it is all about your intent. These are very serious times and time is running out. Jesus is definitely coming soon and he's coming much sooner than people actually think. If one is not prepared to do what they got to do and being that glorified bodies, that is it. That's why I tell people if you are not called for marriage and it's not really that important focus on the Lord before it is too late.

[btbc92]

We have to be extremely careful of these things because people desire these things so much that that's why Satan finds a way to control people as well as utilize people to make you fall into sin if not be distracted. We cannot afford to be distracted. If that person is not elevating your life spiritually and help keep you focus on the things of God, that person is a distraction.

[btbc92]

Seek God in all things first for you must be a vessel willing to serve the Lord. Stay diligent and be steadfast in him. Whether one receives a spouse in this life or not what matters is that you are with the Lord most high God.

[Djaay]

I do know the GOD of the Bible. I will assure you of that.

[Seppel]

Hahahahahaha 😂😂👍😀😀🤗😂😂😂😂😂😂

[btbc92]

Laugh it up, buddy. I don't worry about people like you.

[kyleelyn199723]

I’d say it doesn’t as long as you didn’t drag anything that can affect another persons life into the equation. (STDs)

[DizzyDesii]

The shoe meme is a great example. To me, it matters. I dont want someone whos been with more than a handful of people. I’ll feel they dont take sex or relationships seriously and jump into bed too quickly with the person. Plus its like do they truly love themselves? If you love something, you tell others how much you love it but you dont give that thing you love away to everyone else. It should be only to those who truly matter

[TruthBringer]

Nailed it!

[DizzyDesii]

@TruthBringer thank you! Bringing the truth as always ;-)

[msbrightness]

Correct - it isn't so much a number question as it is the 'can you remain loyal and will you ENJOY it' question. I've had my share of mistakes, based on crap parental/social circle advice - but I can tell you promiscuity is a complete waste of time. Nothing like waking up next to someone who you know is... not so much unconditoonally, on the sense you could abuse it, but naturally/organically/biologically yours, in the sense you like to hug them, hear them breathe and feel at rest/calm and joyful that wsy/about it.

[AFellowWeeb]

If someone passes the 5 mark, think about it, both options are bad: If the individual fucked 5+ people on hook ups, it means that he/she doesn't take sex seriously; and if its from 5+ different relationships, i mean, are you trying to be the next mistake?

[DizzyDesii]

@AFellowWeeb i dont even want someone whos been with five if im being honest. I just said a handful to sum it up

[AFellowWeeb]

@dizzydesii same here

[DizzyDesii]

@AFellowWeeb hopefully no more than 3

[msbrightness]

Funny. I agree. Been with... 40+. 3 relationships. Well, some month or two long ones. Only one was a one night stand (and it was the least satisfying experience) Woukd have, now 25 years since the first one - then, and now - swapped it all for one loving, skin and soul touching/close, relationship. Could have even divorced with grownup kids now, like Bill and Melinda Gates!

[jmr2191]

It matters to a point. If it a girl has slept with a large number of guys, it speaks to her priorities and values, which may be inconsistent with what I'm looking for in a relationship. In the case of values, the context of those sexual partners and her age matters (the older you are, the higher the threshold for too many sexual partners). A high number of sexual partners also increases the chances of STIs, meaning I'm more reluctant to take her at her word before getting physically intimate.

[tdm209]

i don't care how many guys she fucks with in the past, as long as she ain't carry stds over. It's how she behave when being with me is more important. If she behave like a 12 year old kid she still gets a high chance of getting the fuck off.

[Daniela1982]

FFS! How many times is this "Body count" question, in various words, going to get asked? This must be the 20th time this month. Why are you turkey pot pies so interested in how many times a person has been fucked? What? you get off hearing how some girls are Ho's and put out for anybody who asks? And girls, do you think saying you have been through 30 guys makes you look like a role model for "Virgins of America Fan Club"? Surely there must be other questions that haven't been asked 1,000 time before.

Stop asking me how many guys I fucked!!

[Mehzmeh]

#micdrop

[katiesmuff]

No I do not see any important reason why past sexual history should matter, barring any STD's etc that you may be keeping secret.

[TruthBringer]

Studies have shown that it does matter. The reason why you "don't see" the important reason is because you clearly haven't done your research on this topic. The consequences go beyond just STD's.

[KrakenAttackin]

@TruthBringer You are wasting your breath. It is not rational for these women to refute that a high cock-count lowers their value, but here they are.

[TruthBringer]

@KrakenAttackin Yeah you're right. Too bad many of them will find out the hard way and by the time it happens, it will be too late...

[katiesmuff]

@TruthBringer You can stick that study in your dirty ass after you remove TruthBringer from it! At 37 had more dick in me than you two morons could count yet very happily married now for 7 years and 3 kids. Mark doesn't know, never asked about my past sex before him and I've never asked him about his carousing around before I came into his life.

[TruthBringer]

Hahahah and you think I would take word of someone who had gangbangs. Of course you don't like the studies because they debunk every snowflake mindset you have. Men who end up with promiscuous women are usually low value men who take what they can get (low hanging fruit). I've never witnessed a self-respecting man wife up a woman who had been dicked down by half the town, let alone have gangbangs

[loves2learn]

I can’t believe so many people said yes. No! Your chemistry and connection is what matters.

[KrakenAttackin]

@loves2learn. Spoken like a girl with a lot of drunken hookups.

[TruthBringer]

@loves2learn Yeah and that connection and chemistry is often non-existent with people who have a high body count. No wonder those with higher numbers of sexual partners contribute to the statistics of most highest divorce rates and overall lesser happiness. The reason why people said "yes" is because th answer is YES. And studies point out to that.

[vald9inches]

People evidently think we are merchandise lmfao religious conservative brainwashing at its finest!! 🤦🏻‍♂️🤦🏻‍♂️

[loves2learn]

Ohhh @krakenattackin and @truthbringer. I should have expected you two to come out of the woodwork. Do you two process what you read or are you just utter morons. I HAVE ONLY HAD SEX WITH ONE MAN. Yet I’m still outraged by the judgement of others. GTFO my thread.

[TruthBringer]

Lovely how you immediately resorted to ad hominems while also neglecting the fact I didn't even attack you personally. Goes to show the insecurity and lack of intellectual capacity to come with a productive counter argument, to begin with. My comment wasn't about you personally, but do stick to your feelz, sweetheart.

[loves2learn]

Ugh. I’m over it.

[loves2learn]

EIGHT blue haters are you kidding me? Ughhhhhhhh

[vald9inches]

@loves2learn just ignore those 1" inch baby dick incel virgin beta losers lmfao

[shalt]

To a degree... everyone needs to be safe and not just some promiscuous addict

[loves2learn]

@shalt we weren’t even talking about addiction. Simply talking about number of sex partners, which, in fact, does not define a person.

[vald9inches]

Also how does that whole analogy work anyway? Like if you had one partner but had sex 1000000000 times vs you had multiple partners and only had sex 5 times? Lmfao

[loves2learn]

@vald9inches good point. I prolly have had awd 10000000 times lmfao

[loves2learn]

Ugh. *Sex.

[Mehzmeh]

Wow!! They said someone with a high body count can't have a connection. I guess the preachers who use to be pimps, don't count. Or the priest who did before they took the vow. Gotta love double standards. Lol

[loves2learn]

@mehzmeh it’s worse than that. They think men can have high body counts but not women.

[Mehzmeh]

And that is very sad!!

[loves2learn]

@mehzmeh but the studies and the research and the evidence! Lmao

[Mehzmeh]

Lol.

[PaynefulPleasures]

I think I get your question you're referring your sexual self to shoes 👟
So many rubbers so little time
You like being tied
Seeking soul (sole) mate
Tongue & groove
Wow 🤯

[doopayo]

No. It’s that person’s business.

[Paolaa988]

It matters if you sleep with one person to the next and you just set yourself short. Im not pure at all. I've had sex before but i dont go around fucking one guy then a next i have some boundaries and im learning my worth.

[KrakenAttackin]

@paolaa988. What exactly is "your worth"?

[Paolaa988]

I believe having worth is being the best person you can be, having that self love, having a kind heart, doing good deeds for people, staying true to yourself and recognizing your character all is part of your worth as an individual. Self confidence, awareness.

[ChrisMaster69]

It really does not matter and it’s amazing how guys get hung up on it lol.

[SomeBlondeChick]

Yes. As a woman of high self-esteem and self-respect, confidence, I have a relatively low count. I don't sleep around to feel special about myself. Not when I attract attention from very affluent men dressing and acting respectfully.

So yes it does matter. To me, it says he isn't some loser that's been passed around because nobody was interested in keeping him.

[iseekpinetrees]

It matters in a sense of did u practice safe sex or sketchy sex.

[NaultD]

Only if you consider the other person in the relationship not a person.

[spartan55]

I've got no room to assign anything about sexual histories given my own.

[Ms_Vanderquack]

The human body is not a pair of shoes, anyone who needs that explained to them shouldn’t be allowed to have sex.

[Leavesbound]

I don't really care if you're a virgin or have done it a thousand times with a hundred men. The most significant thing for me is that she wants to be with me. The rest is just details.

[Smashingdoozy]

Comparing a person to shoes is just 🤦🏻‍♀️

Also why does only a woman's sexual history matter? Why do guys get a free pass to fuck whoever they want when women get shamed for sleeping with 1 person.

[Asker]

when did I say men are allowed to sleep with who ever they want?

but we all know women are bigger whores then men
so you women will always be the target
and if men must restrain themselves SO DO WOMEN







and also men don't get to let out their true emotions
while you women do

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0wV6axt4TCI

[Smashingdoozy]

Oh shut the fuck up. This question wasn't exactly worded for both genders was it? No it was deliberately only about women. Men on average sleep with more people than women do so don't come at me with the women are bigger whores bullshit. I'm all for men showing their true emotions but this has absolutely nothing to do with that 😂

[Asker]

so you are ok with men just going around and raping girls?

[Smashingdoozy]

No of course not this isn't about that? What the fuck

[ChrisMaster69]

@ blue Anon virgin. You seriously being practicing hard to be such a cockwomble

[Asker]

YOUR WORDS NOT MINE (I'm all for men showing their true emotions) if men let out their true emotions you will be just like that female duck if men run on how they feel this is what will happen YOU READY FOR THAT

[Smashingdoozy]

You really have such little faith in your own gender? You're admitting to being a rapist then?

[Asker]

NOOOOO !!! I don't have faith in either of the GENDERS MEN OR WOMEN based off what I have seen in life most of you are SHIT !!! and yes you make a world with just feelings and I promise most of these men will rape and no I have not raped CAUSE I DON'T RUN ON FEELINGS

[Jesus_is_the_guey]

Your math is off how can men sleep with more partners “on average” when there’s roughly the same amount of people on this earth unless a lot of men are having more gay encounters than women that’s impossible also if you’re going to cite a study those are not reliable women tend to divide by 3 as men tend to multiply it by 3 (sexual encounters) as for sexual history mattering it does matter for the man and the woman but it literally shouldn’t bother you if you don’t want to date a gentleman that has values then don’t it’s as simple as that 🤷🏽‍♂️ Just like if that same gentleman with values has no intention of dating you he too should not care what you do with your life or body since it shouldn’t effect him

[Smashingdoozy]

😐 I can't handle the stupidity in that comment 😂😂 wow you really thought you did something there...

[Levin]

I think the most pressing question here is what on earth is a cockwomble.

[ChrisMaster69]

@Levin www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Cockwomble

A UK Forces term that entered mainstream use

[TruthBringer]

@Levin Don't mind the neutred male feminist who is simping into the graces of women calling others "cockwombles" simply for voicing their preferences and opinions.

[TruthBringer]

@smashingdoozy Both gender's sexual history matters. The shoe comparison is nothing more than an analogy and you know it. No point in going too deep into matters simply because a thread has been opened which makes you feel spoken to. In the end, yes sexual history matters and studies have pointed to that.

[Smashingdoozy]

I was simply expressing my opinion because in reality it's men who care more about this than women. Some stupid ego thing.

[TruthBringer]

You're correct about men caring more than women about this matter. Did you ever ask yourself why? Or do you just brush it aside as "stupid ego" without actually wanting to understand the male perspective? If you're genuinely interested in knowing, I would be happy to explain the biological reason behind this and what studies say about the consequences of having a multiple sexual partners. But then again, if you truly were interested, you would have done your own research.

[Smashingdoozy]

I've already read your studies 🙂

[TruthBringer]

Great! My Take only describes the effects, not the biological explanation behind it. Although they aren't very far off from each other. In the end, a guy's sexual history matters aswel. The question is whether it matters just as much or not. Looking from a biological point of view, women are more affected by sleeping around than men.

[Smashingdoozy]

Sure but having multiple sex partners ≠ sleeping around. The issue really lies in the relationship aspect, there tends to be more mentally damaging issues when it comes to sex in terms of one time things/one night stands. Women are especially affected because of our need of an emotional connection. But then again the root issue of sleeping around/ engaging in one night stands isn't as simple as people being "whores" right? It all in the end comes down to how a person was raised. A person with childhood trauma is more likely to experiment sexually, with drugs, with alcohol, more likely to have a tendency to take risks.

[TruthBringer]

Often people who do have multiple partners happen to have slept around. Don't forget we live in the sexual free west. Does that mean people with multiple partners must have slept around? Of course not. Like you said, you can still stack on bodies through relationships. And even then, it’s still stacking up bodies. Despite having had a good connection with those previous partners. Whether viewing a person as a “whore” for sleeping around is a personal matter and varies from person to person. Even though this is caused by childhood trauma is reason enough for many people to next that person as they carry too much ‘baggage’. So yes, those who sleep around often do have underlying issues which causes them to act impulsively and engage into promiscuity. Still more than enough reason for many ‘clean’ people to next them. And I honestly think it’s justified.

[Asker]

@NotARobberYet

[TruthBringer]

The answer is an absolute YES. Well.. if you're planning on having a long term relationship that is. What I find amusing is that only those who are fuilty of having a rich sexual history get mad at analogies like this one. Typical damage control attempt to soothe the cognitive dissonance because they don't like the fact that people generally care about someone's sexual history.

I've made a Take on this which dives deeper and debunks anyone's claim that it "doesn't matter":Why The Number of Sexual Partners Matters

[The_Maphio]

Only in terms of experience for new relationships. As a human being, how many people you plowed or got plowed by is irrelevant.