How do you feel about premarital sex?

Question

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Given that I am not married now and have had four children out of wedlock - three with my girlfriend and one with a gal who was, essentially, a one night stand - I guess you would have to say that I am pretty positive about it. Though that sounds a bit glib.

Truth is, I have no problem with it. Sex is healthy, natural and instinctive and men and women should have it when they feel like it and mutually agree to it. However, that does mean that it has no obligations.

Truth is, I have gotten four women pregnant out of wedlock. In addition to my girlfriend - with whom I have lived for over a decade - and the mother of my eldest - there were two others. One miscarried and the one that hurts me more than words can say is the woman who aborted my little baby without telling me. I miss that little baby and only wish I could hold him or her and tell him/her how much I love him/her.

Frankly, truthfully, having unprotected sex out of wedlock is fine with me. In fact, silly as it sounds, unprotected sex is the kind I enjoy the most. It makes me feel like a man and that I am doing what nature intended me to do. However, you have to be prepared to take the consequences.

For me, I always knew I would. I lost my virginity at age 16 and even then I knew that if I got my girlfriend pregnant that I would be a stand-up dad and take care of her and the baby I made. Because THAT is also what nature made me to do.

There is nothing wrong with giving in to your natural instincts, so long as it is remembered that we are more than the sum of our natural instincts. We have obligations and when a man makes a baby it is his obligation to protect that little person and care for him/her and his/her mommy.

Truth is, as I say, my girlfriend and I have lived together for over a decade. We don't want to be married as it just seems too contrived and artificial and somehow diminishes what we have. Frankly, I don't think we would be living together had we not had sex first. It is that important to a relationship between a man and a woman.

As to the mother of my other son. Truth be told, I did not know that I got her pregnant. It was, as I say, basically a one night stand and we did not know each other well. She looked me up years later to inform me that I had a son - this after I already had three children with my girlfriend.

The tests confirmed that I am the dad to this young man, but the twist here is that she does not want me disrupting his high school and college years by revealing who I am. So I have met him, and I am enormously proud of him, but I have decided to respect her wishes and that has not been easy.

Long story short, I think premarital sex is perfectly fine and healthy. Males and females need that release and to do what nature made them to do. Breed and reproduce, not to put too fine a point on it. However, I strongly believe that you have to be prepared to take responsibility for giving in to and obeying those instincts.

Those instincts have given me four of the greatest gifts a man can be given by a woman. For a man, we have an obligation to take that seriously.

ShadezMcgee · Accepted Answer

I used to be against it growing up but have become a little more lenient due to personal views about sex in general.

I felt it should have been reserved for marriage as it fell in line with God's teachings in the bible and religion. However when I experienced it, I enjoyed it, but I also found it to be a critical part of modern day relationships. Bad sexual chemistry being figured out after marriage would suck as opposed to figuring that out prior

Without intimacy, relationships struggle and sex is a huge part of it. I feel using premarital sex as a teaching point for individuals should be used to guide them on who they want to share that with, but should not be something only married couples do. I feel couples that are in serious relationships should be able to do that because that would be heading in the direction of marriage and puts more emphasis on serious relationships as a whole.

Premarital sex being introduced to teens in the form of sex ed isn't bad, but it could be improved. Lack of proper premarital sex on both a logical and moral perspective promotes degeneracy and damages individuals on an emotional and mental level where people who are very promiscuous will struggle to bond with those they may really care for.

CrazyGirl2 · Accepted Answer

I don’t think you are going to get many people on GAG’s ‘Sexuality’ forum to tell you anything negative about sex… premarital or any other type for that matter! I mean we’ve had people here defending pedophilia for Peet’s sake, you’re certainly not going many “No! Wait for marriage if you can, it would certainly be more fulfilling emotionally”… It would be a lot more intellectually stimulating to re-ask this, but on the religion forum. After all people here seem to believe the only possible reason for waiting is religious dogma! Huh, makes you wonder if anyone actually remembers the primary reason for sex in the first place, and what effect THAT could possibly have on the life of a 13yo girl? Seriously, re-ask in “religion” I’m willing to bet that you get a lot more that just “God says wait, so… you wait! End of discussion!”?

ShaTTeredMasterpeace · Accepted Answer

I did want to wait til marriage or until I was in a loving and committed relationship. But alas, neither of those things were the case when I lost my virginity so there's that.

MrOracle · Answer

I don't plan to marry, so, it's the only sex I'm interested in.

Ez-Bri-Z · Answer

Sure, go for it. Practice safe sex 😊

jennifer_bloom · Answer

It’s not recommended by the bible, very strict guidelines against it in scripture and elaborations of the harm it causes.

Sunnybabe23 · Answer

It's okay if they get married and stay married afterwards

Lliam · Answer

it's great. Once a person reaches puberty, they should learn the pleasures of sex if they are so inclined. People should squeeze as much enjoyment out of life as possible. An nothing is more exquisite than good sex.

One of the lamest things I can think of is "saving" oneself for marriage. People who do that have hang ups that I want no part of.

I was never interested in virgins and I wouldn't have even considered marrying someone without knowing our sexual compatibility.

I like women who are girl next door types with wholesome values and strong, uninhibited libidos. They are into monogamous sexual relationships, regardless of how long those relationships last.

weysally · Answer

sex is good regardless of the when, if two people want sex then its good regardless of age,

Paolaa988 · Answer

I had sex already, I'm not married. I feel like it's your individual choice it's your body after all.

MCheetah · Answer

I'm not into marriage (anymore) and probably won't ever get married, but I respect people who are willing to treat sex seriously and not just be selfish and shameless like so many people nowadays who piss sex away like it's cheap and meaningless. So many problems in the world can be explained by people procreating that shouldn't be.

ohshee · Answer

What do you mean with the guy ur goi g to marry or someone else before u get married

modelUN242 · Answer

I don't want to get into a divorce or be in a sex-only marriage, so no. I believe I'm worth more than that.

Alyssa11 · Answer

I don’t really see the issue. I only have an issue if it’s not consensual. Or adultery is in the mix.

BlacklightShade · Answer

Marriage is a religious covenant so if you're not religious then it's normal.

The_Maphio · Answer

Just as marital sex. Pure bliss.

IAMNathanael · Answer

None for me. And that means no touching, no nothing. I ain't married but I'm also not in a hurry to.

Angel_ika · Answer

Just do it

wankiam · Answer

its fine

Libbers · Answer

I’m ok with it.

slatyb · Answer

It's a good idea when the proper precautions are taken. Almost everyone does it, and have been doing it since 1950 or earlier. Sexual compatibility is not automatic. People differ in their interests and their desire for sex. The same couples that are not having sex before marriage are not talking about it. This is a recipe for a lifetime of frustration or an eventual divorce. We see this all the time on GaG -- "My spouse isn't interested" or "My spouse asked me to... Is that normal?"