Why was I chosen by all these guys at work to sexually harass? I am having an existential crisis because of this?

[Anonymous]

I thought maybe i am so beautiful and thats why but i am realizing now that that would be like saying if you are beautiful then thats the reason you got raped or something like that. I cannot justify it to myself like this any more. I cannot twll myself that i must be so beautiful and my personality is so attractive and thats why all these guya at work sexually harass me (including as a group).

I can't believe i let myself (the victim) get tangled in with their perversity by trying to blame their actions on myself.

If anyone reading this knew me, you would know i dont dress provocative, i dont ever use any makeup, i dont have fancy hairstyles and i dont like to hear or talk about sex at work. So i reappy cannot think of what reason it is that i am being sexually harassed day in day out.

[wheist9095]

Could be for a number of reasons, maybe they see you as a really relaxed person and they're just joking around, locker room talk kinda stuff.

Maybe you don't fight back against it and they think that means they can do whatever they want.

If it's all just verbal, take a stand and tell them it makes you uncomfortable and you want them to dial it back or stop entirely. If it persists talk to HR about it and tell them you want it to be anonymous so you don't face backlash.

Worst case is either it escalates and you get physically assaulted or you have to leave the job and find work elsewhere because they won't change. Better than suffering in silence though.

[Asker]

I've told one or two to stop MANY TIMES. they are narcissists and are always right and im always wrong. Also i need this job to survive so unil i fid a new one i csnt just be reckless and risk losing it

[Asker]

The managers flirt with the male coworkers themselves and the guy manager sees these guys are always bothering me (whether or not he's around when they make the sexual comments) and he's a lazy SOB who doesn't give a shiit about anything period.

[wheist9095]

Well it sounds like your only way out is away from the company. If you can find another job, even one that might pay a little less, then you'll be out sooner rather than later. The other option is to carry a recording device, my go to has always been my phone, set to record before I get into a meeting with a boss or a troublesome coworker. That way I have actual evidence instead of just my word against theirs. With a recording you can either go to a regional or district manager, or much more rewarding but costly, a lawyer and sue the shit out of them for a hostile work environment and sexual harassment.

[Iron_Man]

Talk to the head honcho and tell them what’s going on

[Asker]

I dont think they will care. Especially since i have like 5 guys doing it to me. They would rather get rid of 1 girl than fire 5 guys.

[Iron_Man]

Can you try to find another job

[Asker]

Yes but this is the one which pays the kost and gives the most hours. its hard to find one like this. Its just above minimum wage. I have a college degree and have applied to beter jobs but they rarely offer to interview me

[Asker]

I am poor by the way.

[Iron_Man]

I’m sorry to hear that either be real tough on them back or ignore them

[Asker]

I am a nice person i canot be real tough and i tried many times to ignore them but they are always working with me and talking. Its hard to keep ignoring people next to you ALL the time.

[Iron_Man]

Do the best you can to hang in there you’re in a tough situation and I really don’t like this for you. Hopefully they’re not sexual with you

[Asker]

Thank you! What did you mean "not sexual"?

[Iron_Man]

Like talking to you sexually cutting you down humiliating you making it like you’re a dog

[Iron_Man]

If that’s the case you can definitely report them and I would highly recommend that you do it

[Iron_Man]

Record them with your cell phone Microphone they won’t even know

[Iron_Man]

Thank you so much for most helpful Award I hope things get better for you

[Avicenna]

They usual target people they perceive as easier targets

[Asker]

I dont get it. Easier targets how? Are you calling me a very nice person?