What is your take on someone who is older and still a virgin?

Question

There's a guy I know and he's in his 30s and still a virgin. What's ur take on a guy like this and why do you think this happens?  Thannks

Ditto626 · Accepted Answer

Well as someone who's 28 and still a virgin let me tell you there's plenty of factors that play in to it for myself.

I'll start off saying that I'm not attractive. I don't have the looks or a body that would make women want to check me out or approach me. I know women are just as bad as men and I've overhead plenty making sexual comments about hot guys they've seen in public. I don't look like those guys. In short, fat, and goofy looking.

I was shy and awkward growing up. This continued until my first few years of college. (I started talking more then.)

I have a few things wrong with me that aren't normal. A lot of it is genetic diseases like diabetes that affect my weight. (I'm working on it.) When I was 14 I started breaking out in really bad acne all over my face, neck, arms, back and a few other places. I had to have several dermatologist appointments and try some pretty strong experimental drugs and creams to try and get rid of all of it. Well it worked. Kind of. The acne was under control but it left scars all over my body. I looked like I had some kind of skin disease.

I grew up in a small house and my family was lower middle class. My parents didn't make much and my house was dump. Not to mention my family argued a lot. I didn't want to bring friends over let alone a girl that could potentially join my family.

As for my college years, I was pretty much checked out for most of my undergrad degree. My mom was let go from her job the summer before my senior year of highschool and my dad got sick so he couldn't work. He was getting a fraction of his paycheck for medical leave and my family struggled. I worked while going to school and gave my parents as much money as they needed. I was physically and emotionally drained around that time so I didn't really have the energy or the resources to take someone out on a date. I didn't really get to enjoy my college experience. I wasn't one of those kids who's parents could afford to buy them a whole new room set of decor for their dorm room at the expensive college across the state. I didn't party and I didn't discover who I was until I was around 25 or so.

I said that I was shy and quiet. I am also an introvert. I don't have the brain that makes me want to go out and socialize like others do. I wish I was though. I'm not anti social but I get physically drained from too much interaction.

This may be hard to believe but not all men want to have sex with every woman in their proximity. I've only liked a small handful of girls in my life. I talked to a few of them and was hitting it off but the relationship went no or they found someone else. You ladies have a lot more options than men do.

Now that I have a bachelor's and Masters degree and I'm trying to start my career I'm a little too busy to try and date. Plus I still don't have the resources to take women on dates and still maintain myself. I have bills to pay and everything is getting more expensive. At my age men are expected to own out own homes and have 2 cars in the garage and if we don't women see us as lazy bums that aren't men they want to be with. We have all these expectations on us and I just can't keep up. I am just burnt out and I don't really see myself pursuing women right now. And honestly from what I'm seeing other people going through with their relationships I don't see the point. All the arguing, drama, and divorces it's not looking too appealing to me anyway.

So that being said I shared my main reasons why I'm still a virgin. I'm sure that guy has his own problems going on in his life so don't be so judgmental towards him. If anyone is reading this and you're making judgments on someone maybe you should look towards yourself and think "Maybe I'm not so good myself and I shouldn't look poorly on others". Hopefully this cleared some things up but I hope you give that guy a shot.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

For me it was I was fat and socially anxious and poor and bad teeth.
Then got less fat, fixed teeth, less poor, less anxious, got a girlfriend.
It ended quickly because her parent didn't like me and she chose them.
Depression from that and stress of uni got me fatter again, but I'm again less poor and more confident. Now the issue is that I'm way too fat from stress eating, probably still too much on the poor side because I'm still a student, and now getting too old to have a healthy formative sexual experience with an attractive woman. Once I get my weight under control again, I'll probably have to go to a prostitute at some point.

thebestalt · Answer

I'm most likely going to be that way myself so I see nothing wrong with it. Sometimes men are just unlucky in life and never get the opportunity. Some just have social anxiety so bad they can't muster up the courage to even get far enough for the topic of sex to arise. Some are religious (Like I am) and just wait till marraige. It's seen as bad because of society but truly there is nothing wrong with it.

kkirk4442 · Answer

It doesn't matter. If they chose not to have sex, that's a choice that I respect.

Drumlin2001 · Answer

As someone who was a 35yr virgin, for me it was an anxiety over physical intimacy, it started when i was a teenager and continued into ealry 20's. I eventually gave up as anytime i got close. to someone it would stop at a point a normal person would be getting physical. Was only when i spoke to a shrink bout a few things that i startwd to work throught it.
People find themselves in this position for a number of reasons, not for me to judge

exitseven · Answer

There can be a lot of reasons. Maybe he has a long distance relationship for a long time and never had the chance.

Ripper_E · Answer

So what? Doesn't change who that person is.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

I'm 35 and I haven't had my dick inside a vag yet. As for why? simple, I just haven't found someone worth doing that with yet, so thus far, every time, I've said no when asked.

Dchrls78104 · Answer

I am older than 40 and still a virgin. I have never dated or kissed anyone. It is because I have not found the kind of girl I want: every girl I've ever looked at was unsuitable or unavailable.

Caliguy88 · Answer

I don't know. To each their own

TheBigGuy9 · Answer

Could be myriad things. To each their own.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

That's definitely weird at that age. He's either super religious, very weird guy, very ugly or probably has repressed homosexuals sexual desires for men.

jasco · Answer

I find it a bit weird unless your saving for marriage. Even the so called ugly men can get laid if they want to

IHateBeingaMan · Answer

he is probably socially awkward or socially-inept or just doesn't have good enough social skills, obviously, i've always felt that it seems men need to have better social skills than women do because men have always been expected to do the heavy-lifting in social interactions and dating, just speaking of my lifelong resentment of how men are always expected to make the first move or be the initiators in starting a relationship, oh well, can't do anything about that sadly