Do you lose respect or see your girlfriend differently for liking rough submissive sex?

[GirlyGal20]

For those in a relationship, do you see your partner differently if she tells you she really likes a bit degrading, hard rough submissive sex along with sensual slow sex?

[ohshee]

I really like this question because just about every girl in the world I think loves that type of sex and I believe it's because their partner what's to get on wham bam thank you ma'am and get it done in a hurry so the rougher the better the quicker before I have sex with somebody I will talk about it and if that's what they tell me they like I will say okay but I make sure I go the opposite way so many girls forget are they have never ever just had loved me to them in slow slow deep motion you want to watch a girl go crazy get pissed off but then all the sudden love you to death then do the opposite go slow motion do not give in and take her there that way I guarantee you she will always want it that way

[Browneye57]

They all like dominate sex. Raw, visceral, wet, orgasmic. It's just a matter of them making that emotional connection to their man, and becoming comfortable - then they're all wild.

Slow sensual sex is just a variation, otherwise you're doing it wrong. Boring AF.

The NUMBER ONE complaint from women is their man is too passive in bed, too soft, too reserved, not nearly wild enough. Too many complain that they never reach orgasm, that their man lasts minutes instead of getting her off. YMMV

[GirlyGal20]

agreed, i only realized i like this in my current relationship. then again hate casual sex

[Browneye57]

For most people, casual sex doesn't work - there needs to be an emotional connection. The guy's emotional connection comes from the physical act. But more importantly, the communication and give and take is much higher in a committed relationship, so the sex is automatically much better and more satisfying. ONS's are for desperate people.

[GirlyGal20]

agreed. also i'm wondering, with you being older, at what age are men looking to settle down?

[Browneye57]

The truth is, a guy's brain doesn't even fully form, and cognizant reason doesn't fully develop, 'till about 25. So they are in no place to be making any life-changing decisions until after that. Guys are really about five years behind the girls. So, your profile says 25 - my guess is that 25yo guys act more like 15yo guys, and the only way you'll find a compatible mate is date up in age a little. From 2 to 5 years is common - these 'men' are more mature, better looking, should have some money to spend and entertain you with by now, they should have their own place, and a car, and be in control of their own destiny. And they should have a bit of experience with women by now, so better know how to treat a lady and are better in the sack. Without actually realizing it, this is why most women date up a bit in age, as much as ten years. After forty, as much as 20 years - but that gets to be a slippery slope cuz in another 20 years he's likely to be dead. LOL. So 'choose wisely, treat kindly' - Dr. Laura's motto. Date a LOT, just don't have sex with them all. This is the ONLY way you will gain enough experience to actual be able to discern whether they're a match or not, whether they are worthy. Most simply will not be, won't be a match, won't be a suitable partner. And don't think you can FIX a guy - if he's broken or deficient, next him and move on. Don't waste your time with unsuitable men. Focus on finding the right one. You realistically have about a ten year window to do this - after that it becomes increasingly difficult, to where after forty it is nearly impossible, for a lot of reasons. Be clear your intentions, your goals, what you want for your life. The men you date will respond in kind, or they'll let you know they're in for a hook up. There are plenty of quality men looking for the same thing you are, you just have to wade through a lot of wannebe's before you'll find one worthy.

[GirlyGal20]

great reply! Where would one meet more men and not just go on dating sites

[Browneye57]

The problem with dating sites is the people that end up there are the ones that cannot forge meaningful relationships with the people they come into contact with in their daily lives. The vast majority of women are there for attention and validation, with no real intention of ever meeting up with anyone, let alone dating. You even see it in their profile, comments like 'don't waste my time', or 'don't even bother'. Most of the guys are looking for a hook-up. It's a dynamic combination of needs and wants that leads to pretty much ZERO. Sure, a few people find a suitable partner, but those numbers are a tiny percentage of the people there searching for something. The best place to meet people is in your every day travels. I don't recommend the workplace, but it's common to meet someone where you work. If you're expanding your horizons, consider a class or new hobby, take a cooking class or a dance class. Or a new college course. Or join a church. Take up a new hobby that involves social interaction. Be approachable. Smile a lot, get good at striking up conversations with strangers - people just love to talk about themselves. Love can't start till attraction does, and then there needs to be a conversation. And never underestimate the power of the 'advocated introduction'. This is a friend or family member that introduces you to someone they know, that they think you would click with. These can be the best people to meet since they already know someone you know.

[GirlyGal20]

Really good advice that more women my age want. Liberal feminism is exhausting honestly, too much man hating stuff and nowadays peer pressure is about hooking up. *sigh* thanks again

[Browneye57]

You're welcome. I've done relationship and marriage seminars, studied trait typing, and have forty years of marriage time with two women. A few stints with marriage counselors. My youngest is your age, he got married too young and is now going through a divorce. My other two are 30 and 34, very well adjusted and mature and successful women. The oldest has really come into her own, she married a guy 12 years older with a daughter, so she's stepping just like her step-mother did. They seem to be doing very well. She's very smart and understands relationships. She went through a lot as a child, hated me for years for leaving her mother. Now she gets it. Life is hard, there are no shortcuts, and you deserve nothing. You get what you get for the effort and work you put in, just like everybody else. Trust yourself, your own intuition, and do what you do in your life for YOU. You are the one that gets to decide your destiny, what your life will be like - no one else. I've been with wifey ver 2.0 for just over thirty years now. It hasn't always been easy, and I've had to learn a lot as well.

[loves2learn]

I like that. I think a lot of women do. I also like slow sensual sex to warm up before he takes over.

[NamerOfStars]

Of course not. I base my opinions of people on their actions, not their desires. There's no moral component to WANTING something.

[HugoThe2nd]

No, not at all.
You should always be open with your partner about what you like, it doesn't lead anywhere good if you aren't.

[ChrisMaster69]

Not at all, everyone has different likes etc.

we are all wired differently as people.

suppressing or not openly talking about kinks is wrong on a number of levels,

[MrBadd]

Absolutely not. If anything I'd find our sex life boring if she wasn't into that kind of stuff.

[Ditto626]

Absolutely not!!! I hope my future partner and I have all kinds of sex. I want soft and sensual, rough sex like BDSM, I want playful sex where we're just fooling around and laughing with each other without focusing on trying to cum. I want to catch her off guard and push her against the wall to eat her out. I'd like for her to push me against the wall and give me a blow job. I want shower sex, outdoor sex, risky public sex, sex in our backyard, out in the woods, at a beach. I want to dry hump each other, mutual masturbation, I want to masturbate each other while watching porn. I want to use toys on each other. I want us to be kinky. Hell I may even want her to dominate me sometimes. So that being said I'm sure tons of men and women are just like me that want to try a little of it all. There's no wrong way to have it as long as you're both on board. If your partner doesn't match the same level or desires as you it's ok to move on from then and find someone you're compatible with hun. 😊

[TheCunningLinguist]

Not at all. If anything, it indears me to her. As a dominant, it is my natural desire in a woman.

[connemara_crocodile]

My girlfriend likes it hard sonetimes, but not into degrading or being degraded.
Would love if she liked both! There're a few specific things that I would love to do and can't.

[GirlyGal20]

oh damn, like what?

[connemara_crocodile]

Hmm like tie each other to the bed, peeing during sex or pee play, anal kissing. Dunno, as far as the imagination goes I'm willing (and wanting!) to try lol

[GirlyGal20]

What's the difference between peeing and pee play ha, and what exactly is anal kissing? Not into pee stuff myself but you could start small, like asking if she would like you to be tied to the bed and see if she likes it

[connemara_crocodile]

Peeing during sex is exactly that, and pee play is peeing each other, yourself, etc. Anal kissing is kissing the arsehole when you're giving oral sex 😂 it was very common where I come from, but not where I am now 🤷‍♂️ Nah I prefer her to keep seeing me as a normal person and keep my kinks for my fantasies 😂 maybe tying each other up could happen 🤔

[abc3643]

I am not sure she'd be my girlfriend any longer because we wouldn't have good sexual chemistry.
Don't get me wrong - there's nothing wrong with desiring this and it is a very common female desire.
But, I am not the one to do degrading because I don't want to dominate and enslave and control a woman. I want her to want me - not have me be her rapist.

[GirlyGal20]

oh ok.. well no one said anything about rape but I get it

[abc3643]

Submission is tantamount to rape even though they are not the same thing. Submission implies consent because of no choice in the matter. Rape is forced submission with no consent.

[GirlyGal20]

disagree since I talk with my partner and we have clear boundaries about what we don't like or don't want to do.. I get the choice to opt out anytime.

[abc3643]

I am not disagreeing with that.
SUBMISSION means submitting - letting others have their way and surrendering your freedom to choose differently.

https://www.lexico.com/en/definition/submission
SUBMISSION
Definition 1 from the Oxford English Dictionary:
The action or fact of accepting or yielding to a superior force or to the will or authority of another person.

[ShedzJo4322]

Sounds amazing. He won't loose respect,

[exitseven]

No, we used to get a little rough sometimes and it just made sex more exciting.

[pigoat]

Nope i wouldn't lose respect


I guess i see her naughtiness more

[MannMitAntworten]

Not remotely. Why would anyone lose respect for a love one’s intimate preference?

[Andres77]

Rough and submissive... it's because she likes it.
I fuck her hard, pull hair a bit and smack her luscious ass but that's as far as I go.
She's a powerhouse of a woman.
There's no dominating here. She "submits" because she trusts me to fuck her into unconsciousness. There is no domination nor humiliation. She's my partner.

[GirlyGal20]

I like that. I've only been like that because I trust my partner completely.

[Andres77]

That's as good as it gets

[Ironic_Method]

I'm into some really kinky and depraved stuff, but I dont lose respect for someone that is comfortable with herself enough to know what she likes and embraces it.

[GirlyGal20]

nice, that's a really good attitude to have

[soe11]

Getting more love and respect

[JackofSpades]

That sounds pretty normal to me.

[Wise4myage]

Only if that was the only type of sex she wanted.

[kellytheman]

Nah it's her pracative what she likes. I would not see her differently to give what she wants unless the degrading or humiliation part maybe. We sometimes do have rough hard sex but I am usually the submissive one while we have sex.

[TheBigGuy9]

I always had issues with that too. Like if it was a friends with benefits, no problem. But when you really like someone and are in love, some people can’t turn that on and off. A couple relationships I had, I couldn’t do what I did with other women. Didn’t feel right. Like why would I want to degrade someone I love.

[MasterOfReality]

Not at all!