What is the deal with having sex?

[Anonymous]

Yes, it feels good, but I just find there are more important things in life... Like I have a job that is full time, and I have to be on my toes... I play two instruments as a hobby (NOT my dick and balls), and I find more satisfaction in playing/expanding my playing.

Personally, I think masturbating is just as good as sex, in that I get my 'objectives' done.

No, I am NOT having bad sex, I have a wonderful partner, and she is super generous. I just have more important priorities in life. I guess I am a lot more 'cerebral' than a good deal of men, rather than instinctual... In other words, I place a lot of my physical needs based on my mental and emotional needs, rather than my instinctual needs... And no, there is no problem with being more instinctual... I just do not understand it.

... And yes, I have a 'rare' sexual dysfunction, in that it takes me a while to cum while I have sex (Delayed ejaculation)... It can easily take me 30 minutes to finish. I put it down to my ED, as I have issues with my mental health.

PS, I have spoken to an expert about it, and I am in the process of working it out.

[razelove]

I used to just cycle a lot when I had the problem of sex taking too long, and way more effort than I wanted to put into it. Find someone new, it's only taking 5-15 minutes for a few weeks, give it a while I'm back up to trying to zone out, or simply get high enough to not notice the passage of time.

It never made me desire sex any less though, maybe because it was just tough for me to get off rather than to stay hard. I mean, you only mentioned two things about your girlfriend/wife, "she's a wonderful partner and she is super generous" sounds like how I'd describe an employee I can't think of anything negative, but not much positive to speak of either.

If you want to go on how cerebral you are, look at all the women and physical issues Stephen Hawking had. See a couple's counselor, go to a kink dungeon. Try jerking it less so you're more excited to have sex with your girl.

You may legitimately not be as into sex, or have the same drive there that other guys do. You could also be stuck in a feedback loop. "I'm not enthusiastic about sex tonight, so the sex is bad, this makes me less enthusiastic about sex in the future, even if it's good, my perception is that it isn't worth my time."

Sex takes up so little of the day, even if it isn't a big deal in your life, it is for your partner, so it's worth trying to see what the big deal is for her sake, if not your own. As you said, there are other priorities. If it was a case of an inadequate sex drive, or having satisfying sex... why do you masturbate?

[LiamSawyer]

I hope you work it out and I'm sure you can balance it all out, right now you're being selfish and most likely not satisfying your partners needs and requirements. She may leave you dye to that.

[Asker]

Well, I am generous when given the chance, like I give her manual and oral stimulation when my dick starts misbehaving, but really, I guess it is just the fact that I find it too much of a chore to get my body to behave, even if I want to have sex. I guess once things start to work out, I may start to enjoy myself a lot more. Until then, I do what I can to make her happy.

[PurplePeopleEater91]

I promise you one thing, with the right partner sex is never a chore or something to "deal with". Which I'm not saying she isn't great in bed or that you aren't but sexually speaking it sounds insanely dull. You might not be a sexual person and that's ok but it's definitely something to mention prior to dating or hooking up.

[Xoxocutekitty]

Like money, some people use it as a social currency.

Stories to exchange to acquire social acceptance among certain groups as well as perceived 'sucess' with the other gender.

[Asker]

But I see that as no means of social currency... I guess I just am a different person person with different perspectives on the matter.

[Xoxocutekitty]

You're asking for other people's opinions aren't you? You don't have to agree, I'm just saying how it is in some social circles. It's like putting money where your mouth is, or being able to afford a brand clothing when you tell stories of sexual escapades.

[Asker]

Yes, and my different perspective is the reason why I am asking? We are going around in circles hahaha

[JamieLoves]

You’re insane!
You’re winding us up.
No guy... Fag or straight doesn’t love sex!

Thus guy is just fucking with us...🥸🥸🥸🥸🥸🥸🥸

[JamieLoves]

OMG 😱 You mean that you can’t cum in 2 minutes? Oh No!!! Girls rather that you don’t pop your rocks. You have nothing to complain about !

[Asker]

Well, 30 minutes of straight thrusting makes you very sore and too tired to finish? No, I do not have issues with physical stamina. I do not want to finish in 2 minutes. but I do not want to last for a long time either, and I have lasted 45 minutes of pure thrusting... Trust me, I wish I had PE, as that is FAR more treatable. But then again, you are arguing with an insane person that is 'fucking with you'.

[Anonymous]

It feels good and its enjoyable but some people can be obsessed with it which I dont know why because like you say there's always masturbation and many more important things in life. Ironically people have good sex in a relationship and still break up.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like someone is having so much trouble finding pussy, he doesn't even try to get anymore